Needs (Full Version)

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heartfeltsub -> Needs (5/11/2006 8:53:22 AM)

There was recently a thread on here asking slaves/submissives if they needed the pain or wanted the pain and some responded with a list of the things that they needed which prompted me to wonder what most submissives/slaves would consider to be a list of their needs.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 9:25:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub
There was recently a thread on here asking slaves/submissives if they needed the pain or wanted the pain and some responded with a list of the things that they needed which prompted me to wonder what most submissives/slaves would consider to be a list of their needs.


Do you mean "things I need in order to survive" or "things I need in order to thrive in myself"?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_306103/mpage_1/key_needs%252Cwants/tm.htm#306103
wants vs needs and what's worth fighting for?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_185257/mpage_1/key_needs%252Cwants/tm.htm#185257
needs/wants/desires

http://www.collarchat.com/m_61790/mpage_1/key_needs%252Cwants/tm.htm#61790
needs,wants,desires (yes it's a different thread)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_42540/mpage_1/key_needs%252Cwants/tm.htm#42540
wants vs needs



heartfeltsub -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 9:36:17 AM)

That is probably a better question. What prompted my question was list by beth of mercandbeth stating "this slave NEEDS to serve, as well as regular hydration, nourishment, shelter and occasional meds.  everything else, including  the desire for pain is a want."

And i was wondering does things like knowing your place in a poly family is secure or just your place with your Master (whether poly or not) is secure, would that be classified as a need or a want?

Would something like structure, feeling controlled, by classified as a need or a want?

i am heavily service-oriented and feel a strong need to be able to serve, but some would classify my desire to serve as a want not as a need.

i was just curious what others thought.

heartfelt





piscess -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 10:20:01 AM)

Only a person can determine what they consider their needs and what is considered their wants.

I need to breathe, nourish myself, bathe, have shelter.

Those are very primal, basic needs.  IMO ofcourse.

I also feel that I need to be loved, disciplined, cry, laugh, and have pleasure in my life.  Some would call those wants and not needs.

The question of wants vs needs are rarely used IMO in real life scerenios..if I only received my basic needs, I can tell you that I would be looking elsewhere.

piscess



fastlane -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 10:42:25 AM)

I need a blindfold, duct tape and a willing participant to turn any bad day into a great day!

Winks, Kevin



slaverosebeauty -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 10:49:36 AM)

Needs, wants, desires and must haves are all different. What I may need is not neccessarly what I may get or what I desire. Must haves are uncompermising. Desires may be needs as well.  {confused yet??}

As for my needs, I need to find someone who is understanding, intelligent, good looking, will stick with me through thick and thin, have and use common sense, guidance and a way to get rid of all this extra energy that I seem to have an abundance of as of late, somone that I can get along with in and outside of the bedroom, someone will unlock the door to my heart, soul, mind, body and submission.

Thats all I can think of for right now.  Its a slow brain day, sorry.



mixielicous -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 10:53:56 AM)

i need love, and i need to serve to thank for that love. it became a need after i experienced it.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 11:12:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

That is probably a better question. What prompted my question was list by beth of mercandbeth stating "this slave NEEDS to serve, as well as regular hydration, nourishment, shelter and occasional meds.  everything else, including  the desire for pain is a want."

And i was wondering does things like knowing your place in a poly family is secure or just your place with your Master (whether poly or not) is secure, would that be classified as a need or a want?

Would something like structure, feeling controlled, by classified as a need or a want?

i am heavily service-oriented and feel a strong need to be able to serve, but some would classify my desire to serve as a want not as a need.

i was just curious what others thought.

heartfelt


this slave spent a long time getting "in touch" with and identifying needs vs. wants.  the comment this slave made in the other post about needing pain or wanting pain, and has made in several other posts addressing the needs vs. wants debate is her own personal B.L., a conclusion that was come to after 36 years circling the sun on this rock and the result of the last of those 3 years being a time of intense introspection and personally guided therapy.  it is in no way a statement that those needs are the only things Master provides---far from it.
 
this slave understands all too well that one's misguided perception, negative attitude or subconscious hang-up's about their needs and wants fills shelves with self-help books and generates endless debates, research studies and billed hours at the psychologist.  as well, needs vs. wants usually get a thorough inspection on any spiritual journey one embarks upon or path one chooses to follow.
 
this slave fully embraces her need to serve, it has been a part of her life since she can remember.  it is as much a need as any of the other needs of liquids, nourishment, shelter or occasional meds because if either of those things were denied for too long,(length of time according to circumstance), as surely as the sun will come up tomorrow, this slave would cease to exist.
 
having to have structure or being controlled, or even security in her position, spankings, electronic device access,trips to the salon, nipple clamps, attending social events---for this slave, those things are gravy, not needs.



heartfeltsub -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 11:23:26 AM)

Thank you for answering my question.

heartfelt



juliaoceania -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 11:55:29 AM)

My list of needs in my dynamic would be as follows, but the order would change depending on the situation


I need to feel loved
I need respect
I need affection
I need someone that will expect my best
I need honesty and loyalty

Sexually speaking

I need to feel dominated and I need to be told how to please so I can succeed at pleasing my One
I need erotic pain



petcerina -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 12:10:17 PM)

There is a list of needs on castle realm that i have found to be quite helpful.  Most of the time when a sub or slave is having trouble with the relationship, it is because one or more of those needs listed are not being met. 



VvShadowspawnvV -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 12:23:20 PM)

There are things i "need" in order to survive, and then there are things i "need" in order to make it worth surviving.  Water vs. being owned. 

becca



Kirei -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 12:36:45 PM)

  It is rare to find a sub/slave that really has sat down and knows their life needs, including being in a lifestyle relationship.  Balance is the key and each person has to know their own balance and what they can handle.  We do tend to balane more stuff than we may think, work, friends, family, etc....all this stuff contributes to a balancing act where needs and wants sometimes must shift sides.  The real problem is that most people do not wish to look into themselves too deeply to try and see these things.  It one thing the lifestyle does seem to make someone do, but still they must choose to go there, to push their limits and allow the process to happen.

Koneko



Merritt27 -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 12:47:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirei

It is rare to find a sub/slave that really has sat down and knows their life needs, including being in a lifestyle relationship. 


Have you done a poll???  Seems like you just lumped us all together and threw us in a box marked "unthinking subs/slaves".



littleone35 -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 1:52:28 PM)

Need well that is a really easy question i have all i need in my Master.
When i am in his arms there is nothing else in the world i need.

Matt's littleone



Littlepita -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 2:12:06 PM)

I need all the basics that everyone needs, i.e. food, clothing *minus panties of course!* sleep, hot showers, conditioner so I can get a comb through this mop, ect.

I need the love and support of my Master. Plus, his discipline and high expectations that I can achieve my goals.

I need to feel wanted

I need my faith in God.

I need to lose this damn weight so I can have some chocolate again!!!




kyraofMists -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 5:26:06 PM)

I mentioned some of this in the Pain - Need or Want thread...

There are needs that people have in order to survive and then there are needs that we have, as Lucky put it, in order to thrive.  These can be individual needs and needs of the relationship. 

A need for myself that I am coming to understand more and more about, is the need I have to be touched.  This isn’t a need for survival and isn’t really an individual need to thrive.  It is a need for my intimate relationships to thrive.  Moment to moment, the desire for touch is just an extreme want, but if I was deprived of touch in my intimate relationships, the health of the relationship would suffer.

I think our needs are also based on our wants.  I want to keep my job, so I need to do certain things to make that want a reality.  I want a loving, healthy relationship with my Lord and alandra, so I need to do things to make that happen.

I have needs to live, the relationship has needs to live and then the relationship and I both have needs based on our wants.

Knight's kyra



slavejali -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 5:44:19 PM)

I need to feel useful and productive.



BitaTruble -> RE: Needs (5/11/2006 11:53:21 PM)

I need things to keep my body alive and I need different things to keep my soul alive and different things still to keep my submission alive.

So, it's all relative. ;)

Celeste



HCWT1 -> RE: Needs (5/12/2006 1:25:25 AM)

My view is,all i can exspect are,respect,honesty,loyalty and a little love.When im serveing ,i consider my wants and needs to be totally irrelevant.
Dont actively question an activity,keep your head in the right space and over time you'l find all your wants and needs eill be taken care of.It won't happen over night,but it will happen.



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