I'm new to the site, so what now? (Full Version)

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Scorp100 -> I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/12/2011 4:12:23 PM)

I signed up a year ago...or more....but never came back to the site.
Came back this week and updated my profile, so what now.

I have done a search in my area and its loaded with female doms who want money.
Very few female subs, if any.

I have heard of groups or events...but Im not interested in orgies....Any advice will be appreciated.



BonesFromAsh -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/12/2011 4:29:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Scorp100


I have heard of groups or events...but Im not interested in orgies....Any advice will be appreciated.



Well, you might benefit from understanding what is meant by "groups" and "events".

Here's a couple of links to get you started....

A Beginner's Guide to BDSM Munches

What to expect at a play party

As for what to do here on CollarChat......start with the Administrative Announcements at the top of the main page.

Then...have fun.



LadyPact -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/12/2011 4:32:41 PM)

My first suggestion to you would be to stop thinking of munches/BDSM events as orgies. That's really not what happens there.

Female subs are outnumbered by male Doms.  That means it's more likely that you will have to do the work as far as getting to know people.  You're basically saying, "I don't want to go where kinky folks can have dinner together" (that's what a munch is) so it comes across like you expect someone to fall in your lap on the internet.  Yes, it's happened, but it doesn't happen all that often.

Fewer females (on either side of the whip) initiate contact from profiles because, frankly, they don't have to.  They already have quite a bit of mail from guys who contact them first.  This site is no different than other sites such as Match or OKCupid when it comes to that.  Look at the mail you've received in the last six months.  (The system retains mail that long.)  That's pretty much what you can expect if you aren't the one initiating the correspondence.  Even then, you're not going to have a high return rate.  That's not because of you personally.  That's because that's how it is for most males.

Do some research on past threads here about how to write initial emails.  There are some very good tips.

Here's some stuff to avoid:

Don't pull the "kneel bitch" number.  Women will just laugh at you.

Don't go straight to the discussion of kink and sex.  You won't get a response.

Don't try to puff up experience that you don't have.  They will spot it.

Don't send dick pics.  There's a nice "report message" option here.

Don't write every female submissive in your local area.  You'll get nailed by the spam filter.



Good luck.



Scorp100 -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/12/2011 4:50:20 PM)

Thanks Bones and Lady, will start from there.



DarkSteven -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/12/2011 6:50:06 PM)

What the others said, and good luck.



fallon0627 -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/12/2011 8:31:45 PM)

I know you said your not into groups because of orgies. However I go to a local group and sex is not permitted, but having fun, doing scenes and learning is. Maybe there is a group like that in your area. I goggled my area and bdsm groups and went from there. Also you could try fetlife.com



peppermint -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/12/2011 9:16:21 PM)

Ask yourself...how many times have you heard of an orgy happening in your local pizza joint.  If you have not heard of any, then it's very likely that the same pizza joint is being used for a munch.  A munch is merely a meeting of people who get together to share a meal.  It's a social occasion.  There is no kink happening.  There is not sex happening. It's people getting together to meet other people...no more, no less. 



Awareness -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/12/2011 9:22:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Ask yourself...how many times have you heard of an orgy happening in your local pizza joint
I'm told that explains some of the 'special toppings'.



peppermint -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/12/2011 10:46:13 PM)

[sm=Groaner.gif]



myotherself -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/12/2011 10:54:49 PM)

Hi Scorp [:D]

I had a quick peruse of your profile and, while it has avoided the headfirst dive into descriptions of your kink or junk, it doesn't say much about you as a person.

Female subs get messaged a lot if they're single, and many will want to see if you connect as a person. So...what do you like to do? Go to movies? Read books? Listen to opera? Tell us about it and it will help us to see whether you're the kind of person we'd enjoy being with.

Also, what kind of relationship are you looking for? Just play partners, or a long term relationship? It might be worth mentioning that too.

But otherwise, good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for [:)]



ResidentSadist -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/13/2011 3:52:22 AM)

If you are seeing Dommes in your search, you haven't set up all your search filters.  I just looked and there are 175 female subs in New Jersey that logged on in the past 24 hours.  That's 7.25 submissives/hour. 



Arturas -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/13/2011 5:09:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

If you are seeing Dommes in your search, you haven't set up all your search filters.  I just looked and there are 175 female subs in New Jersey that logged on in the past 24 hours.  That's 7.25 submissives/hour. 




Hot damn, the garden state grows bunches of em.



weaselwelder -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/13/2011 9:14:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

If you are seeing Dommes in your search, you haven't set up all your search filters.  I just looked and there are 175 female subs in New Jersey that logged on in the past 24 hours.  That's 7.25 submissives/hour. 


Damn, I forget how thick on the ground we are in Florida, 53 subs logged in in the last hour.

Scorp, as an honest suggestion, I'd write more. A lot more. I get a message from a sub about once every 150 words I put in my journal.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/13/2011 9:51:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Scorp100

I have done a search in my area and its loaded with female doms who want money.
Very few female subs, if any.

I have heard of groups or events...but Im not interested in orgies....Any advice will be appreciated.



A few suggestions.  Some of which others have already stated. 

First off, the internet is probably not the ideal place to search.  That's why you're finding Dommes who want money.  If you go to a munch or play party, you won't be solicited for money like you are on-line.

Second, take some time to read some threads and learn a bit.  Try to learn basic terminology, and how things work in the BDSM world.  Frankly, when you come on here and say that you think munches are orgies, you make yourself sound kind of stupid.  That's kind of like me saying "I don't go to the opera because I don't like elephants".

Finally, you're not doing your search properly if you can't find any female subs in your area.  There are tons of them.  But as I said earlier, go to an orgy.....errrrr, I mean a "munch".  [;)]



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/13/2011 6:21:15 PM)

 
You need to introduce yourself by sending "cock-pics" to every girl on CollarMe.

[;)]




Buzzzz -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/14/2011 5:57:20 AM)

What she said!!



firedogmilwaukee -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/15/2011 11:03:57 AM)

I guess do what hes doing now. reading the message board and trying to actively participated in whats going on. more people read and browse the board and see your posts then will ever actually respond to them, its like advertisement and your helping to improve and grow the online community double win.



Arpig -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/15/2011 12:08:56 PM)

quote:

but Im not interested in orgies....Any advice will be appreciated.
Not interested in orgies???? My advice is in depth Jungian therapy. Dude everybody is interested in freaking orgies!! Its natural!



Buzzzz -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/16/2011 7:31:01 PM)

The whole forum is an all day long orgy. And I see that you also noticed that , because you hate them so much, you didn't come back to post ;)



NocturnalStalker -> RE: I'm new to the site, so what now? (5/17/2011 3:31:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

If you are seeing Dommes in your search, you haven't set up all your search filters.  I just looked and there are 175 female subs in New Jersey that logged on in the past 24 hours.  That's 7.25 submissives/hour. 



Great Scott...



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