RE: Casual Play and D/s

RE: Casual Play and D/s (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

Najakcharmer -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 4:10:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy People judge one another on a daily basis. It is a part of who and what we are. Those that claim to not be judgmental are judgmental liars. In not denying the fact that I judge others, I am being less " Kinkier than thou " than the ones that judge but claim not to. *If it is wrong to voice our opinion on something, then each and every one of us needs to stop posting here.* Of course we all judge others, because we have to. I judge that my SM-oriented friends are not good D/s relationship material for me. What I don't do is to piss people off by "scorning" others for having a different BDSM orientation than mine. Doing that means that you can miss the opportunity of getting to know and appreciate some very worthwhile people because their kink is not your kink. In short, you lose a lot of friends that way. I think that my life is better and richer because I respect others for their differences rather than scorning them. That doesn't keep me from having an opinion, or from making personal judgement calls about who I personally want to play with or be in a D/s relationship with. I don't make an annoying nuisance of myself by telling other people that their kink sucks and mine is better. I like to think of myself as having better manners than that. You are welcome to make your own choices. YMMV.

catize -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 4:16:19 PM)
quote: *Is racing a lifestyle?* Are you implying that D/s is the only 'lifestyle' on the planet?

BrutalAntipathy -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 4:20:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize quote: *Is racing a lifestyle?* Are you implying that D/s is the only 'lifestyle' on the planet? *Not at all. I was implying that racing is NOT a lifestyle.*

Najakcharmer -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 4:27:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy *Not at all. I was implying that racing is NOT a lifestyle.* Hee hee. Don't say that in front of a racer. My sub's entire family is from that culture, and I'd have to say that it is a lifestyle.

juliaoceania -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 4:28:46 PM)
I see nothing wrong in casual play. I have no judgment about that. I have tolerance for people that are swingers, vanilla and monogamous and doing missionary every night. I have tolerance for everyone. I am not labeling, I am not defining, I am asking for other people's opinions as to the opening post. I just wanted to make sure I made that statement because I did not realize some would put more into the question than I intended. As for me personally, I do not have casual sex vanilla or otherwise, and I do not feel comfortable getting topped that way. It would not be submission for me personally, but everyone is different. In some ways I wish I was less inhibited that way, but I am who I am. I think I do not like being judged because I like pain, or because I love submission, and there are many that judge this, who am I to judge another? If people say they feel they submit in more casual play, who the hell am I to judge this??? I am no one to judge it, to each their own.

KnightofMists -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 4:33:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy quote: ORIGINAL: catize quote: *Is racing a lifestyle?* Are you implying that D/s is the only 'lifestyle' on the planet? *Not at all. I was implying that racing is NOT a lifestyle.* The Act of Racing Cars, Horses or whatever in of itself is not a lifestyle no more than flogging a person or commanding a person within a relationship. They are just activities that one does. However, their are those that spend a great amount of energy at Racing, flogging and commanding people. It is a lifestyle for them to be engaged these activities. So there are those who very much are in the lifestyle of racing. Some do it for a living. Some only do it as a hobby or pleasure activity. But they are in that lifestyle, I know a few of them.

JohnWarren -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 4:35:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy quote: ORIGINAL: catize quote: *Is racing a lifestyle?* Are you implying that D/s is the only 'lifestyle' on the planet? *Not at all. I was implying that racing is NOT a lifestyle.* Maybe if you defined what "lifestyle" means to you, it would be clearer to the rest of us. All too often I see the term "lifestyle" used like "real" or "true" as a club by insecure people to try to make it look like they are better than others.

BitaTruble -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 4:50:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I have a question for everyone! I was wondering what people felt about casual play and D/s? Do you feel that someone is submitting their power to you if you are just casually playing? And do subs feel they are really submitting if it is a casual play scene? I was just curious if people felt causal play is really D/s.. Or is it just play? I would assume that there will be many different answers to this as there are people who respond, I was just wondering how people felt about this. I think of 'play' in BDSM as S/m activities, not D/s. D/s (or rather M/s in my case) is how I live my life. S/m is what I do for some fun, like playing chess or something. It's an activity which I incorporate into my life like a lot of other activities, but it doesn't define who I 'am'.. just part of what I do. I don't see anything wrong with having some fun, and who am I to begrudge someone a good time? Just because I don't think of D/s the same way as S/m play ... doesn't mean others feel the same way. I would agree to disagree that's all. Celeste

swtnsparkling -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 4:57:00 PM)
I do not play causally. I have experienced a LOT! and all of my experiences have been within a D/s relationship. I wanted to feel what it was to submit to one. but I didn't go out and play D/s to find out, I waited for the right relationship. No I do not think casual play is D/s. It is topping and bottoming it is just playing. Just my way- what is right for me and my own opinion Just adding: if i ever did decide to play casualy this is what it would be to me [quote casual play is not submission but simply a physical release and recreational activity. [/quote]

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 5:06:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kedikat I find I do not wish to take a sub as far, if it is just play. It is enjoyable to a point, but leaves Me frustrated. Emotional connection always inspires Me to be more Dominant. I desire to do nastier things to one I care about more. Doing the same things to one who is just a playmate feels fake, lacks depth. Passion for the act alone is so much less than real connection and passion between the ones doing it. Turn this around to the sub side and you see where I come from as well. I do submit in casual play, but it has never had the depth of submission that makes me feel satisfied and satiated. I need the connection of a relationship to really set free that compulsion to honour and obey. Casual play is fun, and at times it's all I have to work with, but I doubt it will ever be the same as when I'm in a relationship. Cin

BrutalAntipathy -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 5:24:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren quote: ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy quote: ORIGINAL: catize quote: *Is racing a lifestyle?* Are you implying that D/s is the only 'lifestyle' on the planet? *Not at all. I was implying that racing is NOT a lifestyle.* Maybe if you defined what "lifestyle" means to you, it would be clearer to the rest of us. All too often I see the term "lifestyle" used like "real" or "true" as a club by insecure people to try to make it look like they are better than others. *Lifestyle:* *the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture* .

KnightofMists -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 5:27:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy *Lifestyle:* *the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture* . typical as compared to what... other individuals or typical as compared to ones usual activities

meatcleaver -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 5:28:44 PM)
I would say a life style is a fashion/trend within a culture. It's a very vague term and could mean almost anything.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 5:30:14 PM)
I bottom in casual play. I belong to a small local group and I bottom at parties for non sexual s/m play. I'm a masochist and those times are right now my only outlet. I don't submit in that context. It's not D/s or M/s, it's s/m play. I enjoy it very much, but I yearn for the fuller experience, the D/s plus the rest. I see nothing wrong with it and neither does the one I'm involved with.

catize -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 5:34:10 PM)
I may play with a dominant, but I do not play act. Whether it is for an hour, a night, a weekend or a long term relationship, my submission is never casual; I take it seriously becasue it is an obligation. I am challenged by it and I have fun with it. I gain new experiences, I have become a better submissive with each encounter. I am forever a submissive in D/s whether I have a few partners who are in my life from time to time or one partner who is the only one in my life

JohnWarren -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 5:34:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren Maybe if you defined what "lifestyle" means to you, it would be clearer to the rest of us. All too often I see the term "lifestyle" used like "real" or "true" as a club by insecure people to try to make it look like they are better than others. *Lifestyle:* *the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture* . By that definition anything for an individual would be a lifestyle. One could say, "as part of my lifestyle I see my submissive once a month."

BrutalAntipathy -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 5:34:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy *Lifestyle:* *the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture* . typical as compared to what... other individuals or typical as compared to ones usual activities As the definition states, typical to the individual, group, or culture. Is there some D/s rule that I don't know about that says nobody in the lifestyle is allowed to own or consult a dictionary? Because I see a lot of casual, sporatic definitions floating about, and it does make communication difficult. Perhaps if people would agree to consult a dictionary from time to time rather than mangling words to suit their whims we could all understand one another.

BrutalAntipathy -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 5:46:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren quote: ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren Maybe if you defined what "lifestyle" means to you, it would be clearer to the rest of us. All too often I see the term "lifestyle" used like "real" or "true" as a club by insecure people to try to make it look like they are better than others. *Lifestyle:* *the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture* . By that definition anything for an individual would be a lifestyle. One could say, "as part of my lifestyle I see my submissive once a month." The above scenario indicates that seeing a submissive once a month is part of that individuals lifestyle. Presumably this hypothetical individual also goes to the bathroom daily. Their actions are a part of their lifestyle, but not the basis of their lifestyle. Or are we all part of the " bathroom lifestyle " ? If so, I suppose this means that we are part of the oxygen lifestyle, and the sustenance lifestyle as well. This however is pointless, as you asked for me to define lifestyle on what appears to be the assumption that I would use it to mean " true " or " real ". This is not how I use the term. Need we bother with such a pointless exchange as this? I have given my opinion on something, and people for the most part did not like it. This by the way, is a form of judgment, which supports my comment that everyone is judgmental.

KnightofMists -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 5:56:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy *Lifestyle:* *the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture* . typical as compared to what... other individuals or typical as compared to ones usual activities As the definition states, typical to the individual, group, or culture. Is there some D/s rule that I don't know about that says nobody in the lifestyle is allowed to own or consult a dictionary? Because I see a lot of casual, sporatic definitions floating about, and it does make communication difficult. Perhaps if people would agree to consult a dictionary from time to time rather than mangling words to suit their whims we could all understand one another. well your rather defensive but you don't really answer the question. . typical infers a reference and comparision of one thing to another. so one thing is the individual, group or culture that is compared to the second thing... so what is the second thing. It would seem that your saying the "typical" way life is the way that YOU define that any indivdual, group or culture should determine behave or act. So glad you can determine what is a Lifestyle for Everyone. I guess I am little more humble and don't pretend to know what is typical for others or the standards that dictate a lifestyle. However, I would agree that Lifestyle is the typical way an indivdual, group, or society engages in as a norm of there behaviors, the frequencey of which being rather subjective. Be that activity be BDSM in the dungeon and missionary sex in the bedroom or Kinky sex in the bedroom and sharing authority/decisions outside of the bedroom and anything else. Like being involved in Racing or Volunteerism. The military is a lifestyle of many. So is religious life. Lets not forget those students that live a lifestyle... party down and poor as hell! Many of us enjoyed that at one time or another. Some of us are still there. As far as mangle the words.. it's one thing to read it from the dictionary. But it's another to actually apply it's meaning and have any understanding to that meaning. Sadly you don't seem to beable to apply it very well.

KnightofMists -> RE: Casual Play and D/s (5/11/2006 6:00:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy Need we bother with such a pointless exchange as this? I have given my opinion on something, and people for the most part did not like it. This by the way, is a form of judgment, which supports my comment that everyone is judgmental. I don't argue that everyone is judgemental in some degree or another. I actually agree with you completely in this regard. However, being judgemental or having opinions is one thing. but actually having an informed and considered judgement and opinions is another thing all together. Yours does seem to be rather appropriate to your nic. Brutal!

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125