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Man? - 5/11/2006 3:22:58 PM

MstrTiger

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Most people think there are certain trait’s a male of the species needs to have over and above simply having the correct set of genitalia. What do you think makes a man?.

Some people think it is basically the idiot with the biggest club where as others think he should be more like an erudite Victorian gentleman. I know that a persons opinion of what someone should be has little real relevance to the group of people they hold the opinion about though I do think peoples opinions on things like this says a lot about them.

< Message edited by MstrTiger -- 5/11/2006 3:30:57 PM >

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 3:24:47 PM

darq

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Uhm ... Is the question ... "What makes a man?"

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 3:32:05 PM

slavejali

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A man to me is someone who is controlling in relationships, protective of his own, has wisdom, intellect and is a skilled hunter of life.

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 3:41:23 PM

moon69

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Hmmmm interesting question..... though I'd have to ask why you were asking it?
Has someone challenged the definative perceptions of a "MAN" or you yourself?

The definitions of this will absolutely have similiarities, and just as many variances and differences, based on the differences of perspective etc.

I have posted here before and believe that it also applies here... that a man is his character.... and those traits associated with .... the differences that apply I think are just what are his characteristics.... good or bad.... all in all it is a subjective thing....

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 3:46:52 PM

LaTigresse

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Tiger, I like your questions! I have yet to meet one that has all of the qualities I always thought pertained (hell I would have settled for 80%, if I could pick the list!). Perhaps that is why I went from bi to lesbian......Anyway, here is my list of what I used to look for in a man.

Strength of character
confident in himself, that means he does not have to shout it from the rooftops pounding his chest
intelligent
honest
GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR! even if it is at his own expense
does NOT enjoy mean humour at others expense just to make himself look better (it doesn't)
says what he means and does what he says
knows he is not always right and doesn't care
admits his mistakes and moves on
gentle with those that need it
firm with a very strong rein on his temper
does not need brute force to get his point accross but isn't afraid to when backed into a literal corner
never uses it on physically or mentally weaker ones
takes good care of himself and those in his care
lack of vanity yet aware of hygenic needs
comfortable in jeans or a tux would be lovely
knows how to give and recieve love
does not rely on his family ( parents, older siblings) for daily needs
believes in quality over quantity wether it be beers or women
not afraid to work
holds doors for the elderly without a though
doesn't try and run the woman's life but share it and support her
only a wee tiny bit of healthy jealousy

I am sure I will think of a few more........

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 5/11/2006 3:48:16 PM >

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 4:22:14 PM

MstrTiger

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Thanks Latigresse I am glad you do, I really like your answers.

moon69 I asked the question mainly because I thought it would make an interesting point of discussion, it is something that has always interested me though I have been more aware of how much more important it is to some groups within the BDSM community. I am not questioning my own perceptions of myself I am totally at ease within my own skin, and I am sure most people who have read any of my posts will have observed that most of my opinions tend to be quite robust in the face of opposition.

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 4:26:30 PM

Padriag

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Rudyard Kipling wrote the best answer to that question I've ever come across.

If
by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream and not make dreams your master;
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build them up with worn out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute,
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth, and everything that's in it,
And, which is more, you'll be a Man my son!

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 4:27:38 PM

VvShadowspawnvV

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Do you have a different list for women? 'Cuz these all seem as though they would apply... ?

becca

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 4:29:26 PM

NakedOnMyChain

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Above and beyond genitalia?

An Adam's Apple.

I think what makes a man a good man is the same thing that makes any person a good person. Man or not, it's how you live your life that determines if you're a worthy being. With that said, the traits I've always looked for and finally found in my husband are sense of humor, intelligence, compassion, kindness, gentle nature (except when force is necessary), integrity, and the ability to work hard at whatever he applies himself to. Of course it helps that he is smoking hot, too.

But these are qualities that I look for in friends as well (except the smoking hot part), regardless of gender. Those are the traits that I respect in all members of the human race, not just men.

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 4:31:24 PM

Najakcharmer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VvShadowspawnvV

Do you have a different list for women? 'Cuz these all seem as though they would apply... ?

I think my definition of "responsible, fully mature adult" pretty closely matches a lot of people's definition of "man", and it doesn't necessarily come with a penis attached.

(in reply to VvShadowspawnvV)

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 4:35:31 PM

juliaoceania

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My definition would have to be what my father was when he was alive. He cherished his family, he was spiritual without trying to get others to believe as he did, he worked hard to make a living, he had integrity and much wisdom. He was intelligent and kind and loved animals and kids.. this is my definition of a man.

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 5:05:44 PM

tade

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Now that I have a son my answer to that is probably a little different than it might have been a year ago. Couldn't tell you what makes a man a man, my father damn sure didn't teach me much about it except what NOT to be, which in his own way made me the man I am. I do know the things I want my son to become, and it has little to do with dominance, although at 11 months he already has many of those traits (2 dominant parents... he's from good stock:)

I want him to be in control, without being controlling if that makes any sense. He needs a firm grasp of what is right and what is wrong, as well as the understanding that those can be fluid and change with the situation. I want him to love completely and with no regret. I hope he sees the beauty in everything, from the breeze carrying the scent of blossoming flowers, the warmth of the sun after a cold night, the lines of anything well designed, the love of a good woman. I want him to live his life unashamed of who he is, who he was and who he will become. He needs to see EVERYTHING, not just what he is shown. Hopefully he will understand that there is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path. I hope he walks his own path, where ever that may lead.

Sorry for the mushy response to a straight forward question... Get a little soap boxy when I talk about my boy.

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 5:17:10 PM

perverseangelic

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I'm pretty simple.

A man is someone who identifies as male and is a fully functioning and resonably productive memeber of adult society.

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 5:20:29 PM

meatcleaver

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A man is right even when he's wrong!

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 5:26:37 PM

Padriag

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tade
Sorry for the mushy response to a straight forward question... Get a little soap boxy when I talk about my boy.

Most good fathers do. I don't have kids, I still hope to eventually. I hope I'm just as "mushy" about it.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 5:44:37 PM

shygirldesires

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Padriag...that is one of my fav poems...thanks for sharing....

The measure of a man
This world can *analize and size you up and throw you on the scales
They can I.Q. you and run you through
Their rigorous details
They can do their best to rate you
And they'll place you on the charts
And then back it up with scientific smarts
But there's more to what you're worth
Than their human eyes can see
Oh, I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
Well, you can doubt your worth
And search for who you are
And where you stand
But God made you in His image
When He formed you in His hands
And He looks at you with mercy
And He sees you through His love
You're His child and that will always be enough
For there's more to what you're worth
Than you could ever comprehend
You can spend your life persuing physical perfection
There is so much more
More than ever meets the eye
For God looks through the surface
And He defines your worth by what is on the inside
Yeah, what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man

Edit ~~ *laughs HARD at my spelling...yes i guess they can analize anyone, but i meant analyze

< Message edited by shygirldesires -- 5/11/2006 5:49:40 PM >

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 5:57:46 PM

MasterC46910

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I believe every society has it's own definition as what a man is. Most of us define a man as to the best qualities of what we grew up with. As we was taught. These qualities change with time and will be redefined as society changes.

I remember when you was considered a man when you could hold your own in a fight, control your whiskey, protected the weak, respectful to elders and women, never cried and taught youngsters manners with physical persuasion if needed. Many of these things are no longer considered the signs of a man.

So the definition of a man changes with the times. Is it for the better or worse? Depends on who you ask and what they believe. I think you need to live by your own definition of a man, not what others think. You are the one that has to look in the mirror every morning.

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 6:02:21 PM

slavejali

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I went to a talk yesterday. The speaker was addressing professionals (teacher, social workers etc.) who deal with teenagers... It was quite an interesting talk. His talk was on being able to communicate with teenagers, girls and boys etc. Apparently they have done experiments using MRI etc with volunteers to see what part of the brain activates when exposed to various outside information, basically see how different people, different sexes respond. It was remarkable the results and how different they were between the sexes.

I think often these days men are treated like women, or to be deemed a decent man have to act like a woman, respond like a woman....I think its interesting how they can account for differences biologically now....of course there are other factors involved, environment when they are young etc. Did you know that women actually see more colors than men? They have proved that scientifically. I never knew that before.

I really enjoy the differences between the male species and the female species....I don't want us to be the same (lifts her skirt for the feminists in the audience to spank me) lol

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Different Strokes for Different Folks

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 6:11:43 PM

Rule

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I am a man. That suffices. Anybody who does not know what a man is, is not a man.

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RE: Man? - 5/11/2006 6:27:24 PM

MasterC46910

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Did you know that women actually see more colors than men? They have proved that scientifically. I never knew that before.

Now we know why women will see a dozen different colors when all I see is green.

(in reply to slavejali)

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