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being a mistress - 5/15/2011 5:04:00 AM   
Mistresskazy


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/14/2011
Status: offline 		Iam just starting this as my partner would love me to be the dominent one. I could do with some advice about what to do to start off.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 5:09:07 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Well, unless you just want to do it so he can get his rocks off, just think about how you would like him to submit to you, then take it from there and experiment a bit.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Mistresskazy)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 5:11:38 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual
by Christina Abernathy
Down-to-earth information, elegantly written, about how consensual owner-slave relationships really work. Realistic, detailed descriptions of slave duties, symbols, sexual exchange, rewards, punishments, contracts and more.




Training With Miss Abernathy : A Workbook for Erotic Slaves and Their Owners
by Christina Abernathy
Training with Miss Abernathy is the follow up to Christine Abernathy's excellent book on BDSM training "Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual". As the book states, her first book is the theory, while the second book is the practice. The manual contains fifty lessons designed to help the reader explore various elements of BDSM service.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Mistresskazy)
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RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 5:12:18 AM   
ashjor911


Posts: 7793
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: balcony, having a Smoke
Status: offline 		I am just welcomeing the OP
you might want to see section:
Ask Mistress


_____________________________

"operative" working undercover for the federal government of bangladesh.

my name is : bonsh ... jamesh bonsh.
code name : 009.5
licensed to give formla

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
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RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 5:12:32 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		What kinds of things do you like?

What kinds of things does he like?

You're the Domme.  You get to choose.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 5:13:19 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance
by Lorelei
It's everything the author says and more. One of the few books that stresses that this should be done for the couple's MUTUAL pleasure. I also think it may be the only book out there that comes from a monogamous loving relationship viewpoint - not that is the only way to go in this lifestyle but very rarely talked about. It's fun, HUMAN, and very very helpful.


The Topping Book : Or, Getting Good at Being Bad
by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt
This is book was a very fun and informative read. It talks about the rights and responsibilities of the Top and what it is like to be a top. It tells you that Tops and bottoms are equals. Dossie and Catherine are always very good about including all genders, preferences, and relationships.




Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/m Lovemaking
by Race Bannon
Race Bannon provides some much-appreciated accurate information in this honest and straightforward basic guide to S/M. He explodes prevalent myths about S/M and replaces them with a playground of erotic fantasy and an emphasis on consensuality.  Possibly the most important trait of this book, though, is that it's delightfully devoid of the "This is the One True Way" trap evident in too many sexuality manuals.
Delightful examples of questions and issues that commonly come up during negotiation, useful for both the novice just learning to say yes, and the more experienced hand who has met a new partner. The chapter on "S/M Technique" includes good basic safety and sensation information. A recommended reading list, and a glossary. --Cheryl Trooskin


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Mistresskazy)
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RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 5:27:56 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		FR

And from the internet:

http://www.akashaweb.com/goodgirl.html

Written for beginners from a female perspective, and with an emphasis on female comfort.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to ResidentSadist)
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RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 5:33:39 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Completely off topic but I just have to say: I have recently been posting in the Bdsm Mentors group on FetLife, and this OP got more help here in twenty minutes than she would have in three days over there from those pretentious know it alls.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 5:45:56 AM   
ebonywarqueen


Posts: 60
Joined: 5/11/2011
Status: offline 		Number one rule about being the Dominant one. MAKE SURE YOU ARE HAVING FUN!!! It doesn't matter if its making him do the housework while you relax or making him pleasure you the way you like to be pleasured in bed. You should really be enjoying yourself. This is the one situation where it is ok to think about you and put your needs first. You may feel a bit funny at first ordering him around and having him wait on you hand and foot but once you see how much he enjoys it, you will enjoy it more......and once he sees you really enjoying and getting comfortable with it, he will enjoy it even more.

And if you hang around the Dominant women here you will learn a lot very quickly. Good luck.

(in reply to Mistresskazy)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 6:13:57 AM   
Mistresskazy


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/14/2011
Status: offline 		I do very much like the power of it but just need hints really. I know the kind of things he likes.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 6:23:42 AM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		If you know what kind of things you like, do them. Then, it will give you other ideas ;)

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



(in reply to Mistresskazy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 6:25:28 AM   
Mistresskazy


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/14/2011
Status: offline 		Oh intend to have fun and alot of it. Like i said i do really like the idea of it and i will be trying it soon. Thanks for your help

(in reply to Mistresskazy)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 6:35:09 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistresskazy

I do very much like the power of it but just need hints really. I know the kind of things he likes.


What do YOU like??

I mean what could you use help with on a daily basis? What would make your life easier? Maybe it's not being a Mistress you want help with but being a Top...if that's what you want then just ask him what he wants and do that.


(in reply to Mistresskazy)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 6:40:27 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS, WHAT EVER PLEASES YOU BOTH , AS YOU LEARN THEN IT WILL BE ALL ABOUT YOU..BOUNTY

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to Mistresskazy)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 6:47:00 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Start fairly easy and have him do something that you both like, if it's a foot massage, preparing your bath, having him serve you in any way you like, etc.

It might be a good idea to set a time aside, maybe some clothes, just to help you to get into it without feeling awkward, have him topless or nude, maybe with a collar and cuffs, it's just little things but they all might help with the power exchange, or just tie him up and have your wicket way with him.

It's hard to give hints, as no relationship is the same as others and nobody here has a clue how you 2 are interacting and what activities you are planning to do.

The only thing I can think of is, don't try anything too complicated straight away, walk before you run, you didn't try to make a 5 course gourmet meal before you could boil an egg...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Mistresskazy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 1:47:50 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		RS beat Me to it, but I'd like to throw in the suggestion of Claudia Varrin's books.  There are some really fun suggestions in there.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 1:50:21 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Keep an open mind, and talk!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 8:18:56 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		Avoid enemas, watersports, and needle play.

(in reply to Mistresskazy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 8:34:45 PM   
Mistresskazy


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/14/2011
Status: offline 		I have no intention of doing any of those but thanks for the suggestion.

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: being a mistress - 5/15/2011 8:45:14 PM   
Mistresskazy


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/14/2011
Status: offline 		thanks for the book suggestions. I have just bought 'screw the roses send me the thorns' .

(in reply to Mistresskazy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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