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Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/16/2011 11:47:05 PM

FirBAC

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/26/2011
Status: offline

I'm a nice guy, with a decent profile and am always happy to send pics. My question is what is the best way to open a dialogue ? I reply to lots of ads in a nice friendly way but get no response.

Thoughts

D

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/16/2011 11:49:28 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

Pics help. Maybe include them in your letters if you can't post them on your profile.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to FirBAC)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/16/2011 11:52:48 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

first, welcome to Cm.

Second, if you check the FAQ's on the Ask a Mistress forum, most of the same advice can be applied to a dominant seeking a sub.

Also, just so ya know, women tend to get SLAMMED with cmail, especially when they are relatively new.

Check your setting as to who/what you are seeking.. and keep in mind that if you are seeking young, gorgeous, etc.. so are 90% of the other guys out there.. in other words, be realistic in who you are looking for.

last tip: no response IS a response... move on to the next one.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to FirBAC)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 3:14:50 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Write a letter that is drawn from their profile or posts on the forum. Sending a one-size-fits-all letter to every woman will get your letter deleted for sure.

For example, take a look at GreedyTop's profile. If I knew nothing about her and wanted to message her out of the blue, I would say open with "Hi there!", and then ask something like:

What do you mean when you say you're owned by cats?
You say you're into museums. What kind?
You say you like to read. Who are your favorite authors?

And get used to the fact that 90+% of women will still not respond to a message out of the blue.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to GreedyTop)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 5:27:36 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Going along with what Steven said:

The man who is my Master wrote me a friendly email that asked interesting questions.

I wrote back and his response then made me want to know more about him.

We have been together for over 2 years.

But be patient. :)

edit: clarity

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 5/17/2011 5:28:48 AM >

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

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(in reply to FirBAC)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 5:29:45 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FirBAC

I'm a nice guy, with a decent profile and am always happy to send pics. My question is what is the best way to open a dialogue ? I reply to lots of ads in a nice friendly way but get no response.

Thoughts

D

Always open with a photo showing how ginormous your cock is.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to FirBAC)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 5:35:55 AM

mynxkat

Posts: 240
Joined: 5/7/2011
Status: offline

*shudders* Kana, you're mean.

DarkSteven and angelikaJ have it right. Show you've read their profile and actually put some thought into contacting them. Also include at least something about your interests, so between their interests and yours a possible conversation has several places to start.

(in reply to Kana)

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RE: Best way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 5:39:37 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Hello D -
May I just say...Have mercy... You're European, in good shape, have a job, and you work out... and love movies. And ... You have an accent? Hmm? And speak another language... or three? *crosses fingers*

And you're visiting Korea next month? I'm sure that's what your profile said. I'm just sure of it!

Now for the serious part:

Welcome to CM - and yes, check out the FAQ. But I would like to add something more. The folks on the boards are really good people (for the most part - your mileage may vary). A lot of interesting discussions come from here, and I've found that it's much easier to find people to chat up and get to know here. I've chatted on the message boards, and I've talked to a few people on the CM side, but generally speaking, I find folks over here by and large to be more real life oriented and more able to have real conversations. (That is not necessarily someone else's experience).

There are any number of regular posters from your neck of the woods. I think you ought to stick around on this side and test the waters.

Best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Kana)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 5:49:02 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mynxkat
*shudders* Kana, you're mean.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

And hey, the cock shot thing works like a champ for me. Don't know why it doesn't work as well for other, far more, ahem, mortal men than I :-)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to mynxkat)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 6:02:38 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
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I've come across a few well written threads that were designed to
offer a dominant man some tips to make his hunt more successful.
This one in particular is a favorite of mine, and I hope it helps in your search.

How To Succeed In Your Search - FirmhandKY

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to FirBAC)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 6:16:51 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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And may I say that Firm, and his lovely lady, Treasure, are both fantastic people. Several of us had the pleasure of breaking bread with them recently, and what gracious and glorious people!

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to poise)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 6:22:43 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: mynxkat
*shudders* Kana, you're mean.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

And hey, the cock shot thing works like a champ for me. Don't know why it doesn't work as well for other, far more, ahem, mortal men than I :-)

actually, it was the pussy pic that grabbed me...

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Kana)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 10:58:59 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I read your profile and while you sounded nice, you say you are a Dominant seeking:

sub women
switch women
friends only
online romance

So right there, you eliminate many sub women who are seeking a real time, in person relationship with a Dominant man. I, for example, am not interested at all in switch men who want online romance. Starting as friends is cool, but you want to know someone is open for a relationship.

Sometimes, people think posting more generalities on their profile will work, when in reality, being specific is actually a more targeted marketing solution.

And yes, pics help if you attach one in your initial email.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 12:02:31 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I read your profile and while you sounded nice, you say you are a Dominant seeking:

sub women
switch women
friends only
online romance

So right there, you eliminate many sub women who are seeking a real time, in person relationship with a Dominant man. I, for example, am not interested at all in switch men who want online romance. Starting as friends is cool, but you want to know someone is open for a relationship.

Sometimes, people think posting more generalities on their profile will work, when in reality, being specific is actually a more targeted marketing solution.

And yes, pics help if you attach one in your initial email.

I would not assume someone was a switch because they would date a switch. A lot of men would date switches. A lot of switch women are relationally a submissive, but switch during public play, or with women.

I would also not assume because someone said they sought "online romance" that they would not like more if they found a woman local to them. I would personally ask if that was all they were seeking.... He says he is seeking friends, as well, for example

To the Opening Post, I live fairly close to you, and if you emailed me I would respond...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sexyred1)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 1:57:10 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirBAC

I'm a nice guy, with a decent profile and am always happy to send pics. My question is what is the best way to open a dialogue ? I reply to lots of ads in a nice friendly way but get no response.

Thoughts

D

Always open with a photo showing how ginormous your cock is.

Some might even be turned on by one of the furry back. Or, in my case, nearly as grossed out as by one of a dick.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Kana)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 3:14:37 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirBAC

Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention

Email her a picture of your pony. If ya don't have one, then you're fucked, as all "twoo" Toppies have a pony, dammit!!!

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to FirBAC)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 3:41:18 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

It may feel impossible at the moment, but, once you figure a few things out -- by reading the information people have given you, and taking it seriously -- you will find it is not difficult to get dates off this site. It is hard for women to find men who are both kinky and sane. If you can demonstrate you are both, you'll be in good shape.

Consider posting an email that you have sent that got no response. No identifying information of course.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 3:43:10 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

best way to get her attention -- be her definition of awesome.
sometimes guys send very nice messages, but they often seem like they haven't even read my profile. people should always read profiles or forum posts before writing to someone -- it's the online dating version of noticing what's in her shopping cart or what magazine she's browsing at the newsstand.

being nice isn't the end all be all (and sometimes nice guys aren't as nice as they seem -- or they come across as TOO nice); mention something specific in her profile that made you want to write. don't just say "your profile resonated with me," because that can be really cookie-cutter. again, approach it like you're approaching someone in person. if you see a post you like, reply specifically to that -- "your post on X was really interesting, care to talk about it further?" i've answered messages like that because the person seems genuinely interested in getting to know me, and not just bouncing words back and forth before "okay so when do we fuck?" =p

good for you, though, for having lots of "vanilla" interests mingled with the kink ones -- that shows that you're more of a well-rounded person. one thing i will say; many women seem to be turned off by the word "role" when describing what you want to do in a relationship. the way your profile is written, it sounds like you prefer to roleplay Daddy Dom stuff, i.e. keep the kink in the bedroom, but not outside of it, and many women seem to be looking for partners who are dominant inside and outside the bedroom. but to contradict that, you say you "Tolerate" role playing games, so it's a little confusing.

people assume more than they care to admit, really -- what kind of woman are you looking for? who are you sending messages to? you're very interested in fitness, but sometimes even the women with the nicest bodies on earth aren't super into fitness and exercising. some people might assume that you'll put them on diets and control their eating, etc etc. =p you make note of the fact that you work out A LOT in your profile, and you have lots of fitness related interests -- again, NO NEED to change yourself, fitness is good anyway, but it does come across a little heavy in your profile. if you're seeking a fitness-minded partner who would like to accompany you on workouts or something like that, mention that.

talk more about you, how do you build relationships? what is your relationship style? some people like lots of rules and regulations, some people don't. elaborate on you a little more.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 4:00:08 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

As to opening a dialog, what DarkSteven said. I replied to him when he wrote to me :)

Regarding your profile, I would flesh it out more - what European country, what wide range of interests and activities?

Do send a pic with your first message.

When guys write something cookie-cutter like "your profile resonated with me," I immediately check to see if they are in my viewed list and often they are not so their message gets deleted.

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 5/17/2011 4:03:43 PM >

(in reply to FirBAC)

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RE: Bets way to get a female sub/slaves attention - 5/17/2011 4:28:09 PM

subbykat

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirBAC

I'm a nice guy, with a decent profile and am always happy to send pics. My question is what is the best way to open a dialogue ? I reply to lots of ads in a nice friendly way but get no response.

Thoughts

D

Start a thread. ;)

(in reply to FirBAC)

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Post #: 20