Online/Offline Acquaintances (Full Version)

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VaguelyCurious -> Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:17:41 AM)

Inspired by this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

There are many here who I would love to meet in person, but I wonder if they, or I, would seem the same as our personas online.


http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3682892

So, quick straw poll:

Who've you met from the forums, and where they how you thought they'd be?

Kind of like a re-run/update of WyldHrt's thread about who's met who, but with an emphasis on whether they were the same online and off.



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:26:54 AM)

I've met a few people from CM but only one of them posts with regularity.  The rest are on the other side but don't post on the boards.  Fae is much quieter in person.  Fraterthor is the same as he is here.  Hopefully, he'll start posting more because he's entertaining.  Bubbles, or whatever she's going by these days (LundFamily/Pommedemonsang), is exactly the same.  Take that any way you like. 



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:28:15 AM)

(I am an idiot and posted before I actually managed to answer the question. So here go I:)

In chronological order, as far as I can remember.

LillyoftheValley: Prettymuch how she was here. Maybe a bit shyer, but in a nice way.

PeonForHer: It's easier to tell when he's kidding offline (or maybe it's that you meet him offline and realise that he's always kidding and should never, ever be taken seriously).

Frazzle: has the dirtiest laugh in the universe, which was an awesome surprise. You have to imagine that laugh after every post she makes, and then everything makes sense.

CreepyStalker: more time for sweetness and giggles offline. You guys get hit by the bitchier end of her sense of humour here, I think it's fair to say.

Allthatjaz: we've only ever chatted briefly, but she's got the same poise and intelligence that comes across here.

CrazyML: Exactly the same. Like, exactly.

RapierFugue: ditto. It's like he walked off the page and into the room.

RCdc: every bit as charming and lovely as I expected them to be, and with all that same positive energy.

Sundowner: as charming and delighted to bicker and debate as he is here.

I think I've got everyone, but I've got a sudden sneaking suspicion that I've missed someone. If I have and you know who it is then for the love of god tell me, and I'll be very very apologetic to them.

Basically, from that list (which is bigger than I thought it was) I reckon people are much the same online and in real life. Or maybe the sort of people I tend to gravitate towards meeting IRL are the same online as in real life, and it's that authenticity that's made me want to meet them all (although in CreepyStalker's case, obvs, I met her first, otherwise she wouldn't be stalking me here....[8D][8D][8D])

Yay for authenticity! :D



sunshinemiss -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:28:37 AM)

I've met gobs of people from here. I have found that except for a few people who were a lot more bitter / negative in real life than they are here, generally most everybody has been how they seem on the boards.



LadyPact -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:41:01 AM)

Oh My gosh.  The whole list?  I don't know if I have the strength.  It's over two hundred and counting now, if you want to consider folks who used to post here, but don't anymore.  That's not even taking into account people that I've just talked to on the phone and such. 

Rough estimate I would put at 98% and that's probably conservative.  In the reverse, I've had one person who thought that I would be different when we met in person.  She said that she thought I would be more "formal".



LaTigresse -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:42:02 AM)

I've never met anyone from the forums. Neither they, nor I, ever seem to want to make any effort. But it's all cool, we have busy lives, limited time off work and limited travel funds,  and I get that.

The other side I've met a few.....nothing that amounted to anything, but nothing scary either.



Arpig -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:42:03 AM)

I haven't met anybody off the forums...yet, its in the works actually. I'll post next week to give you the skinny.

But I'll just warn you, I'm a lot nicer in real life than I am on here. Its not that I don't think the same things, I just self-censor a lot more in face-to-face encounters than I do on here (yes, I self-censor on here...you don't really want to know how I really feel.)



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:42:39 AM)

Haha! No, not the whole list if it's too big. If I made you come down with RSI the whole of the kink scene in your region would come after me with knives, and not in the fun way.

And whoever thought you'd be more formal clearly hadn't exchanged CMails with you... [8D][8D][8D][8D]



sexyred1 -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:46:07 AM)

I have not met anyone from the forums, although the ones I spoke to on the phone were pretty cool people.

The funny ones were still funny, the empathetic ones were still empathetic, the smart ones were still smart, the hot ones were still hot and only one person I spoke to turned out to be more annoying on the phone than in her posts.

I met a lot of guys from the other side; and I don't have the time to tell you how NOT the same they were from either their writing or in person.




sunshinemiss -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:48:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

only one person I spoke to turned out to be more annoying on the phone than in her posts.




Hey now!



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:49:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I met a lot of guys from the other side; and I don't have the time to tell you how NOT the same they were from either their writing or in person.

See, I've found that too. I wonder if it's because on the other side people are there explicitly to find partners, so they're invested in putting up an image of a desirable partner, whereas here they're just looking to shoot the shit, so there's no need to seem to be anything other than what they are.

Or something.



sexyred1 -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:51:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

only one person I spoke to turned out to be more annoying on the phone than in her posts.




Hey now!



Hey, you know I was NOT referring to you!!! I am referring to someone who only posts infrequently that I have spoken to. You are as sunny in real life as on here. :)



sunshinemiss -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:55:42 AM)

YAY! I think you're pretty neato keen, too!

VC - I don't think that people here are NOT trying to find partners so much as well, I don't think I want to put words in other people's mouths, but it has to do with being comfortable with ourselves or something...

best,
sunshine



Phoenixpower -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:58:10 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I have not met anyone from the forums, although the ones I spoke to on the phone were pretty cool people.

...

I met a lot of guys from the other side; and I don't have the time to tell you how NOT the same they were from either their writing or in person.


Exactly what she said [:)]



LadyPact -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:59:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I've never met anyone from the forums. Neither they, nor I, ever seem to want to make any effort. But it's all cool, we have busy lives, limited time off work and limited travel funds,  and I get that.

The other side I've met a few.....nothing that amounted to anything, but nothing scary either.


We were just talking about this yesterday.  You certainly would have if My prior trek across the country was anywhere near your home state.  Being the geographical idiot that I am, My other half just looked at Me and said, "I know you were disappointed, but do you realize how far that *really* is?"



Arpig -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 9:59:54 AM)

quote:

VC - I don't think that people here are NOT trying to find partners so much as well, I don't think I want to put words in other people's mouths, but it has to do with being comfortable with ourselves or something...
I'm definitely trying to find a partner, but that's not why I come here. Here is to relax and have fun, and to engage in the occasional argument (pretty much the same thing as relaxing and having fun).



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 10:00:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

VC - I don't think that people here are NOT trying to find partners so much as well, I don't think I want to put words in other people's mouths, but it has to do with being comfortable with ourselves or something...

I didn't mean to imply that people here weren't searching too, just...maybe that it's less often the primary objective for each post?

What is it that you think correlates being comfortable with ourselves and posting on a messageboard, as opposed to using the other side? It's an interesting POV, but I'm not sure I can quite make it fit in my head.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 10:00:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I wonder if it's because on the other side people are there explicitly to find partners, so they're invested in putting up an image of a desirable partner, whereas here they're just looking to shoot the shit, so there's no need to seem to be anything other than what they are.

You can hide a behavior pattern for five minutes.  You can't hide it for five months.  Profile text is like a photograph: a snapshot tells you how someone looks in a moment of time, but not how their body appears when infused with their personality.



sexyred1 -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 10:01:42 AM)

I agree with Sunny...some of us on this side are seeking partners but we also feel confident about just being ourselves and hanging out here, so we can be ourselves; good, bad or indifferent.

I think that VC's point is somewhat accurate in that on the other side, some people who may not be as enlightened or self aware, are probably buying into the whole "let me create a profile designed to solicit what I THINK subs want to hear based on my limited knowledge of this hot new BDSM thing I heard about".

And then again, sometimes when you meet people in real life, the chemistry is just not there as it seemed it might be from the phone/emails, so it is not so much a condemnation on them not being real, just not really for you.



LaTigresse -> RE: Online/Offline Acquaintances (5/20/2011 10:02:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I've never met anyone from the forums. Neither they, nor I, ever seem to want to make any effort. But it's all cool, we have busy lives, limited time off work and limited travel funds,  and I get that.

The other side I've met a few.....nothing that amounted to anything, but nothing scary either.


We were just talking about this yesterday.  You certainly would have if My prior trek across the country was anywhere near your home state.  Being the geographical idiot that I am, My other half just looked at Me and said, "I know you were disappointed, but do you realize how far that *really* is?"



I absolutely understand! The U.S. is a big, spread out, country. It takes real time and effort, money even (considering the cost of gas) to go nearly anywhere. Hell, I spend 2 hours a day just getting to and from work. If I don't have to drive anywhere on the weekends, I am a happy chica.



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