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Ceyx -> My Alternative Dominant Profile (5/12/2006 12:07:00 PM)
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Hello!
I've been on this site for several months now and I've just had no luck finding my ONE. (I have no interest in a mere One, much less a one. If you're part of a two, though, call me!) I have dutifully studied the profiles of other dominants and tried to make mine EXACTLY the same, trusting that this would surely lead to success! Alas, it has not. Therefore, I've decided that the only path to my ONE (..two?) is to re-write my profile in order to distinguish me as much as possible from the crowd. In a shameless attempt to publicize myself, I'm posting my new profile here.
MY ALTERNATIVE DOMINANT PROFILE
Fake DOM seeks dupes! I know that my profile picture clearly shows my facial features and not my genitals, but don't be confused. I am a FAKE DOM and have absolutely NO experience in the D/s lifestyle. No, not a lick. Marmosets know more about domination than I do. As far as I'm concerned, flogger is a video game from the '80s about hopping across busy highways. I fully intend to mislead you about my qualifications!
CHEATS, LIARS, GAME-PLAYERS and FAKES WELCOME! Really, step right up. Everyone says that there are hundreds of you for every REAL sub on this site, so I figure the odds are vastly in my favor! Please, please lie to me; I would love to have Cindy Crawford as my submissive. You say you've been doused in kerosene and set on fire? I say okay! Others may scorn you, but like Sir Mix-a-Lot (clearly a DOM, he's got 'Sir' in his name!) I will 'roll up quick to get witcha'! However, I ask that you please have clearly defined limits. I am not interested in pushing your boundaries or seeing how far we can go together.
I am abrasive and inconsiderate in my outward manner, so if we're just chatting, don't expect any patience or affection from me. I can't stand cuddling or intimate dinners and I don't want to get to know you as a person. I care not one whit for your mind; if you've got the reasoning capacity of an orange, you've come to the right place! I'll make this very simple for you. Do you have nice breasts? How's the back meat? I want to spank it! Send me dirty pictures of yourself and I'm a happy man, if you know what I mean. Wink!
In the unlikely event that we ever meet, however, you may rely on me to be retiring and uncertain. I'll admit it, I've got no blessed clue what to do to you. I've given this a lot of thought, though, and my plan is to ask you what /you/ want. Repeatedly, throughout the scene. After all, my mantra as a DOM is, 'I live to serve!' If you need a hand to hold your paddle for you, look no further. I'll even hit you with it, although I'd prefer it if you just backed your rear-end into it really quickly while I hold it still.
So! If you're interested in weaving a web of deceit with me-- and I know you are-- drop me a note. Oh, and if this username doesn't work, it's because I've changed it to something more reflective of my grandeur. I'm considering calling myself 'LordLuuvDungeon'!
(Yes, it's just a joke, people. No offense intended. [;)])
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