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submit to express? - 5/12/2006 1:41:32 PM   
composer83


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline 		i express my feelings of affection thru my submission & service....

to the subs:
do you feel your submission is an expression of love or affection?

to the Dom/mes:
do you view your dominance & those "cracks of the whip" as an expression of love and/or affection for the sub?

came to mind as i was responding in another thread & im curious what others think....

_____________________________


~Love is Pain~


www.myspace.com/iamthediminished
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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 1:46:22 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83
to the subs:
do you feel your submission is an expression of love or affection?

It CAN be, but is not inherently so.  It's more an expression of who I am, and I am a loving and affectionate person.

quote:


do you view your dominance & those "cracks of the whip" as an expression of love and/or affection for the sub?

It CAN be, but is not inherently so.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to composer83)
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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 1:49:57 PM   
composer83


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline 		i can totally relate to what you say about it being an expression of who you are......
but these D/s instincts could serve a dual purpose...could they not?

_____________________________


~Love is Pain~


www.myspace.com/iamthediminished

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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 1:52:35 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83
to the Dom/mes:
do you view your dominance & those "cracks of the whip" as an expression of love and/or affection for the sub?
I think most people meet and get to know one another, and most even play without there existing a significant amount of affection or love...  I believe that is also the reason for the fairly rigid rules in public play spaces where strangers meet and all they have is their instincts and safewords to guide their actions/keep them relatively safe.

For myself however, I need to feel affection toward the one I'm dating or doing anything kinky with, largely because my kink is indeed fuelled by a power exchange relationship, and because I don't feel like exerting that much energy or melding physically with someone for whom I don't care much.   So the answer is yes, my dominance/play is very much connected to my caring for or loving my submissive/slave.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 1:54:25 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		If someone has moved beyond my training into my service then I do have some affection for them -- not necessarily sexual or romantic love but at the very least a deeply felt friendship.

My assuming authority and acting on it is one way that I should this affection.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 1:54:37 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I would certainly say that D/s dynamic is useful in many aspects of life for both sides of the coin. A sub with a good dominant has been trained how to put a bothersome peckerwood into his place. A good Dominant knows how to be patient with those that would seek to dominate them in business for whatever reason with grace and skill.

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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 1:56:35 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83
i can totally relate to what you say about it being an expression of who you are......
but these D/s instincts could serve a dual purpose...could they not?

Hence the "it CAN be" parts of my response.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to composer83)
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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 2:04:06 PM   
composer83


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline 		oh i know....i was just trying to be rhetorical

_____________________________


~Love is Pain~


www.myspace.com/iamthediminished

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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 2:34:58 PM   
Ceyx


Posts: 89
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

to the Dom/mes:
do you view your dominance & those "cracks of the whip" as an expression of love and/or affection for the sub?


On some level, certainly.

Dominance isn't a 'labor of love' in the sense that I do it only to please miss. That wouldn't be dominance. In the first instance, it satisfies my deeply held desires. At the same time, I'm in love with my slave, and one of my greatest pleasures lies in the way she responds to me. So I need to know that, deep down, she loves what we're doing together and is fulfilled by the service I require of her. Our relationship wouldn't work if this weren't the case; I wouldn't feel that I was doing right by her. So in that larger sense of wanting her to be fulfilled, yes, my exercise of dominance over miss is an expression of love.

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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 3:28:24 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

to the Dom/mes:
do you view your dominance & those "cracks of the whip" as an expression of love and/or affection for the sub?

came to mind as i was responding in another thread & im curious what others think....


My dominance as expressed through the way that I manage my servants is not an expresson of affection. It is an expression of the responsibility that I have undertaken in their training and in guiding them in their service. I love my dedicated servants, as a teacher loves his or her dedicated pupils, or a priest loves his or her dedicated novitiates, but romantic love only rarely visits these relationships, and then, only after years have mellowed both of us, the servant is comfortable in his or her service to us, and we begin to blend as a family.

Affection may show up sooner -- as a precourser to pointing out the servants who may, eventually, become close enough to become family (whether or not they remain in service), but for many of the servants we train, even affection is not a large part of the dynamic.

The key things that -are- part of our dynamic are curiosity, dignity, self-respect, attentiveness, and dedication. If anything else develops, it is an extra.

Lady Zephyr

_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to composer83)
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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 5:35:57 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

to the Dom/mes:
do you view your dominance & those "cracks of the whip" as an expression of love and/or affection for the sub?



My dominance is simply a part of who I am. I'm dominant even to those I do not have any love or affection for.

But yes, I only choose to claim and put my energy into people I like, and want in my life.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 5:41:02 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

to the subs:
do you feel your submission is an expression of love or affection?


Yes, I've often said that submission is not really what I do, or even who I am, it's simply how I love and express affection. Especially sexually and romantically.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 5:45:44 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisstoyouI'm dominant even to those I do not have any love or affection for.

But yes, I only choose to claim and put my energy into people I like, and want in my life.


I found this comment very interesting, Misstoyou. I'm guite the opposite. If I don't feel a strong pull of affection and respect for someone there is no way I could feel submissive to them, at all. For me a connection has to exist.

This is something I really enjoy about the forums, seeing things from someone else's view.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to Misstoyou)
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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 6:01:15 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		to the subs:
do you feel your submission is an expression of love or affection?

Yes, to a great extent I do feel it is an expression of my love and affection. I am a submissive woman, but I am very capable of not letting that show with people. With my Dom, because I'm in love with him and trust him, I'm able to submit to an extent I never thought I could. I am also learning there is much more of me that still needs to submit which fills me with joy and trepidation.



_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 6:03:40 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		to the subs:
do you feel your submission is an expression of love or affection?

Yes

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to Littlepita)
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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 6:27:34 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

i express my feelings of affection thru my submission & service....

to the subs:
do you feel your submission is an expression of love or affection?

to the Dom/mes:
do you view your dominance & those "cracks of the whip" as an expression of love and/or affection for the sub?

came to mind as i was responding in another thread & im curious what others think....


Honestly, to me, both are about pure unadulterated desire.  It's lust at its finest.  Of course I love my husband very much, and those feelings are inextricable from anything I do with him, be it BDSM or not.  But before him, it was simply about lust, no affection necessary.  Even now our play is based around that, though my feelings of love still exist.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to composer83)
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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 6:33:10 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I suppose it is an expression of affection and, at times, love.

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 8:10:03 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

do you feel your submission is an expression of love or affection?


dunno really.  Never thought about it.  Ahh.. its just enjoyable to be of use?  It comes from love and affection, one thinks.. but is it an expression?  Could be?  Dunno.  Though, she was recently wailing to Master "whose going to take off your shoes.. and make the bed.. and do your laundry.. make you dinner.."  the list went on.  Suppose thats service eh?  Hmm submission.. submission.. hmmm.  Okay, its got an answer for you!  NO!  Woot Woot (where's the jack pot she just won???)  she says, No, cos submission is just who she is.  Thinking of the times she submitted (tho outside of D/s) she did do so out of love, care.. and then of course out of intelligence.  Sometimes ya know its just not smart to get in the way!  Brings you to the thought of submitting to some one you've no care for.  hmmmmmmm Ah ha!  Got one!  Once in a club, one was really really really drunk.  <grins>  Stumbled upon some club owner from Ga who she ended up submitting to whatever was said with out a complaint.  Twas dropped off at a bathroom and told to go to point A when done. she did.  Twas told to stay put and not move.. twas done.  Few other things of course.. but for examples.  dunno why it obeyed of course.  Didnt know the man from a hole in the wall.  Everyone else she stumbled upon that night (even the guy who reached out, grabbed the hair and started kissing her..) <snorts.. she walked away from that one looking back at the man verra oddly).  Oh yeah.. twas saying.. everyone other then that One man, she ditched.  Usually with the excuse "need to go find my friends"  or the famous one "be back in 5 minutes!"  Neither were true, but then being falling down drunk, alone in a club, and wandering around the club completely lost cos the vision wasnt working so well.. Eh. 

yeah point!  So No submission isnt always an expression of love or affection, atleast here, as for she has submitted to a complete stranger for some ungodly reason!  she can also think of one or two other limited experiences where she submitted to some one she barely knew nor cared about.  It just "was"  You know?  Wasnt about submitting or obeying.. it just was.  It was the flow of things

Can actually envision ]submitting to a few of the Dominants here on the boards.. while although she respects and admires for there isnt "love or affection"  Aye, it could easily pick out a handful of dominants were submission would be so totally natural.  Unless of course it was bratty playful day and it was testing.. tho there are a few Dominants on the boards one can see you really dont want to be bratty Or too playful with = )

<grins>

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 5/12/2006 8:17:04 PM >

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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 11:33:15 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

do you feel your submission is an expression of love or affection?


My submission is an expression of who and what I am.  The love and affection I have for my Master only sweetens it.

(in reply to composer83)
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RE: submit to express? - 5/12/2006 11:37:25 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

do you feel your submission is an expression of love or affection?


My submission is an expression of who and what I am.  The love and affection I have for my Master only sweetens it.


Makes a dentist appointment for Owned.. too many sweets gal.... too many sweets.... lol

But I have to agree with Owned on this one... With my former owners.. I felt the same way. During our times together. I'll have that again i'm sure.... and then Owned can make my dentist appointments for me .....


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

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