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ResidentSadist -> RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- (5/26/2011 8:39:40 AM)
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When the CIA is waterboarding someone it ain’t BDSM. Allow me to explain.
When I reached over the counter and pulled the salesman up off his feet, then carried him to the store phone and made him call the manager, humiliating him and making explain how he discriminated against me for having long hair and a biker jacket . . . it wasn’t BDSM. However, in was an act of domination . . . but it wasn’t D/s either.
Just like when a vanilla with a submissive personality submits to something, that doesn’t make it D/s. What if they were a lifestyle submissive with a submissive personality and did exactly what the vanilla did?
The same is true if I get a thrill helping my Domme friends torture their male subs, it isn’t sexual. It may be sadistic, it may be dominating, it may get my hormones flowing, but it isn’t really BDSM is it? It's another aspect of domination . . . which isn't in the BDSM acronym.
So now you have some of my premises. Using the tools of BDSM or doing something that "could" fit into BDSM doesn't make it BDSM. However, even if it is just about protocol or the most mundane non-sexual form of service, if it is an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure, it makes that BDSM act sexual. A Domme's sissy maid may be in chastity, never orgasm, torture, protocol, humiliation, objectification and bondage scenes may not include sex, but if a sexy feeling aren't among the motives, it's not BDSM. It's probably an aspect of masochistic or sadistic personality disorder.
All these years I was taught BDSM stood for Bondage Discipline & Sadomasochism.
The etymology of sadomasochism is two words "Sadism" and "Masochism", which are derived from the names of authors, Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. If you read the writings of the authors who sit at the etymological core that gave birth to the terms sadism and masochism, you will find sexually oriented books jam packed with bondage, discipline, sadistic and masochistic sex scenes with a host of other sexy kinks.
By Marquis De Sade: Justine or the Misfortunes of Virtue Written - Justine, Philosophy in the Bedroom, and Other Writings - Justine or Good Conduct Well Chastised - The 120 Days of Sodom and Other Writings - Letters From Prison - The Crimes of Love - Philosophy in the Boudoir: Or, The Immoral Mentors
By Leopold von Sacher-Masoch: Venus in Furs
Yes, I feel sadomasochism is definitely about sex. Bondage and discipline are just some of the tools used by sexual sadists and sexual masochists that practice sadomasochism. Even the latest DSM was recently updated to remove the non-sexual form of sadism so that the current "sadism" now reads like the old "sexual sadism".
Sexual Sadism is the recurrent urge or behavior involving acts in which pain, suffering or humiliation of the recipient is either an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure.
Sexual Masochism, the counterpart of sexual sadism, is the recurrent urge of having pain or suffering inflicted upon the self, often consisting of sexual fantasies or urges for being beaten, humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer, either as an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure.
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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
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ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Long ago and far away, BDSM stood for Bondage Discipline & SadoMasochism. S&M stood for Sadism and Masochism.
The BDSM acronym has been badly bastardized over the years and even now the Wikipedia incorrectly defines it despite protests to correct it. Wikipedia claims that the 4 letter acronym has 6 meanings . . . the D & S are really D/s giving them double billing to include domination and submission. If the trend to reinvent the acronym continues, I expect the TPE crowd to eventually jam their 2 cents in an try to include slave & Master into the meaning.
Will BDSM eventually become BDDSsM or BDDSssMM?
Thank you for saving Me on that one. It's very much appreciated.
We probably do have different views on the original though. While at the core of it psychology had originally defined sadism as as sexual perversion and all of that happy stuff, I don't think BDSM is necessarily sexual for everyone. I can certainly say that it isn't for Me in every instance. A good example of this is when I top females. I enjoy the sadistic part of it immensely, but the sexual element is gone.
Well, we may not see eye to eye. But I feel if it isn't sexual, it isn't BDSM and you may be getting other thrills. Many types of domination and torture feed sadistic thrills but aren't at what I have learned to be the heart of BDSM.
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