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CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Parents Keep Child's Gender A Secret (5/25/2011 9:12:29 AM)
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And yet...my uncle is fine.
Grandma passed him off as a girl, because he was so beautiful, until he started kindergarten. We are talking long frilly dresses handed down from sisters, and his hair done in long, blonde Shirley Temple ringlets.
He grew up just fine, is het, not kinky, doesn't cross dress, isn't gender bent, and is something of a health nut.
I read the article and I think the parents might have a good idea but are going about it the wrong way. Like them, I wanted my son to be free to be himself, so when playing with Barbie dolls helped him make progress...yeah, I bought him dolls...and the horses, doll houses, Barbie swimming pools, cars, etc., that went with it. He was razzed for it in kindergarten when a girl brought her Barbie for show and tell and my son let her know he had the same one at home. He also had an Easy Bake Oven. My neighbor's boys acted all redneck macho over that...so I invited them over and my son and I made ourselves each a small cake. When they asked to have some, I told them if they wanted a cake, there's the chocolate cake mix that only needed water added and to have at it. Soon all the kids on the block were stopping over to our apartment, in hopes of being allowed to use the Easy Bake Oven, lol. Boys included. They all became very good at decorating cakes, too. [;)]
With the Barbies...my son was adventurous. He had deluxe Barbie or whatever cars, and her date, Luke Skywalker or some Power Ranger, lol, would drive. Unless she was driving and her date was fighting off bad guys with a lightsabre or doing karate. Action figures became so much more fun to the other boys on the block when they realized having a female audience might be nice. I had to sew Power Ranger outfits for some of his Barbies... And a tight black latex cat suit, so she could torment Batman or whoever. (Most of his playtime was re-enacting movies.) His Barbies wore out many grappling hooks, used rope, and even "made" small camp fires to roast mini marshmallows on. (Under supervision.) Neighbor girls played dolls with him too, and he got stuck playing some family stuff, which I think was good for him. The girls would sometimes have their dolls pick arguments with his, and he had to talk his way through it or his character/doll would be stuck with an angry wife doll who makes him walk the floor with the screaming baby. [:D]
He always knew he was a boy, but I encouraged him to try what caught his interest. If kids made fun of him for doing girly stuff like cooking waffles from scratch or making lattice top pies...I told him some of the best chefs are men.
When I was a kid, I was a tomboy. Going fishing, hunting, climbing tall trees, whittling, playing pirates and cowboys and indians. I can understand the freedom they want to give their kids, but children can have freedom to explore fun things...without having the burden of keeping their gender a secret.
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