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need a different perspective - 5/13/2006 3:02:07 AM   
DerLachendeKater


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline 		*checks the clock* god I should be in bed. Anyways on with the subject this question is mainly for the dominants that have kids living with them but feel free to comment even if that doesn’t apply to you. anyways my question is how do you guys work out things with your family life and with your lifestyle (god I can see this starting stuff just cant think of a better way to put it)

 with my situation personally we run things kind of like a wolf pack my mistress and her mate are my alphas and I listen to anything they say within reason and they also handle legal stuff  etc. I’m their beta and my sphere of influence basically encompasses the house and yard I keep it clean orderly etc i also watch over my mistresses two autistic kids.

 one is 14 but has the mind of a 9yr old forever and the other is 19 and in college and getting better grades then I was without her books anyways I basically make sure they do certain chores, am there during the day to greet them when they get home, take care of them if they get sick you get the idea.

Anyways does anyone else have situations like this? furthermore should i be worried about getting too attached to the kids I don't foresee anything bad happening but its gotten to the point that when our former roommate caused the younger one to catch stripe throat  needsly I wanted to strangle the life from her (the roommate I mean)

I often joke about this being like parenting lite but when I really think about it considering I never intend to spawn my own brood I really do consider them in a way as family and something that’s worth hurting people over and it also kind of scares me just a tiny bit.   *looks over the post * erf once again I make a post with no definite point well at least I was able to spell check it. =^_^=’’

< Message edited by DerLachendeKater -- 5/13/2006 3:03:22 AM >

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a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

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RE: need a different perspective - 5/13/2006 4:08:37 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		How can you not get to attached when you take care of them on a daily basis? I know there is always a possibility that things could end suddenly and painfully but you can't let that eat at you. If you did then you wouldn't be able to function well. I think the way you have discribed things that you are doing a wonderful job.
 
All of my kids are grown and gone, but they were raised knowing about the lifestyle and my choices. To them it's as normal as breathing. I've always taught them to be open minded.
 
Jewel

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RE: need a different perspective - 5/13/2006 4:18:45 AM   
DerLachendeKater


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks I know I shouldn't worry and I usually don't. But you know how it is late at night the mind wanders and most of the walls come down. Thoughts like " I’m only 2 years older then the oldest one so what the hell am I doing taking charge of their lives" pop into my mind. But then I think about how much happier they are now there’s a sense of order and boundaries in their lives once again and all I can do is smile.

_____________________________

a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

" there is no normal only what you can or can't accept"


(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
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RE: need a different perspective - 5/13/2006 4:27:37 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		If you bring a sense of order into their lives, you should be very proud of yourself.  Sounds to me like you are doing a wonderful job. 

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RE: need a different perspective - 5/13/2006 9:07:17 AM   
darq


Posts: 443
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: under a rock
Status: offline 		I love children, personally and one of my happiest times as a slave was when I was owned by a couple that had two little boys aged 6 and 10. The children called me Kitty and pretty much viewed me as a nanny ... I wasn't a sexual slave so there wasn't anyting like that to worry about and my owners had sex after the kids went to bed or when they weren't around, pretty much like any other kind of couple.

Basically their mother would get the kids ready for school and drop them off on her way to work. I would get up around 7 am and start chores and stuff; with two little boys there was always something to clean up. Their father would get up and do his own thing while I planned meals, did laundry, cleaned up the house, etc ... When the kids came home from school I'd be responsible for getting them snacks, making sure the 10 yr old did his homework, the 6 yr old had cat box duty and then I'd have to keep the goofy kid from trying to kill himself ... He was always coming up with some new crazy and dangerous game to play. I also got to play referee while they were watching cartoons, otherwise the remote would suffer dearly.

I'd start dinner about 15 minutes before their mother was due to come home from work. Dinner would be served and then I'd get the kids in and out of the bath. (The 10 yr old was pretty good on his own but if things got *too quiet* with the 6 yr old you just never knew what you'd find.) Then it would be bedtime and like as not I'd read them a story. After the kids were settled and in bed, I'd prepare the bath for their mother and after she was done, I'd set things out for his shower and then go comb her hair out for her. It was waistlength and quite a hassle for her to deal with on her own.

About ten minutes to midnight, I'd go in and turn down the bed for them, light an incense so the bedroom smelled pleasant, wrangle the cat so she wouldn't be tromping all over everyone during the night and after they went to bed, I'd get my own shower and curl up in my own bed, a matress on the floor at the foot of their bed. I was pretty busy and I loved the kids to bits and pieces. Things ended up going sour though when the littlest one started calling me Momma Kitty or just Momma ... I'd remind him that I was just Kitty and he'd get all silly and embaressed but sooner or later he'd forget again. Freaked their mother out and that was that.

Edited to add ...

Being sent away was the hardest thing in the world for me.  I didn't get to say goodbye ... The kids went to school thinking everything was fine and they came home and I was gone ... It kills me to think about that.

I know a few women who drag their children into their relationships with them and the kids get so excited thinking that yay they get a daddy now! Things go well and the kids get attached and then when things fall apart the woman refuses to allow the dominant to even see the children. So they get a daddy and then he's snatched away and they don't even know why. I think its wrong and cruel and it saddens me when I hear about such things. I know its their mother's right to allow or disallow anyone the ability to see and interact with her children but something inside me still thinks its wrong and cruel to the children.

< Message edited by darq -- 5/13/2006 9:12:17 AM >

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RE: need a different perspective - 5/13/2006 9:35:08 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		If my husband and I ever have kids Fox will become "Uncle Fox" to them. He'd be in pretty much the same situation as you are. He has no desire for children himself.

I think a good pet (what you call yourself) would certainly get very attached to the family he's with. A good person in general would.

As long as everyone knows you as not-the-parent but still with some authority I think it should continue to work out fine. You follow the alphas leads and it should flow well.


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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

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RE: need a different perspective - 5/13/2006 3:25:42 PM   
DerLachendeKater


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah the kids both refer to me  as navi which is my fur name that sadly most people call me by more often then my real one. By the way you look terrifyingly similar to someone I know but your actually smart unlike her. 

_____________________________

a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

" there is no normal only what you can or can't accept"


(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: need a different perspective - 5/13/2006 3:37:07 PM   
DerLachendeKater


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline 		I’m sorry that you had to go through an experience like that Hun. The wife should have seen that possibly happening with the younger child after all you were spending more time with them then she was.  


I understand that you are a slave so I won’t trash your past relationship too much since I’m sure it had a different set of rules then mine does but it seems to me that if their mother had wanted to prevent such a cirmstance then she would have found ways to spend more time with them and reinforce her position as mother.   


I guess what I’m trying to say is you did nothing wrong and its her own damm fault for passing off all her duties on you and getting mad when that situation occurred.  at least you have your fond memories and the knowledge that you served them as well as you could right?

< Message edited by DerLachendeKater -- 5/13/2006 3:39:00 PM >

_____________________________

a man once said to volitaire " life is so hard" voltaire merely replyed "compared to what"

"there is no right or wrong only conquences"

" there is no normal only what you can or can't accept"


(in reply to darq)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: need a different perspective - 5/13/2006 7:13:13 PM   
Kuratori


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		Navi,

I'm glad you're getting different perspectives on this situation.  I wasn't even sure how many people live as an alternative family unit such as we do.  I love you being my beta, you're caring yet stern with the kids.  This gives them a good sense of where they belong, what they should be doing, the routine is structured and they know (after a really long talk from me) that the rules are made by me and me alone, that you just enforce them in my name.  They both love you dearly and Navi you shall remain.  If they refer to you as something else later it's because the dynamics of the family have evolved (the definition of being dyanamic includes ever changing so I expect it).

I'm just happy as a clam that I can be open about my lifestyle to my kids.  Part of being able to be open is of course due to the fact that no one does anything in front of them that a "normal" family wouldn't.  No sexual displays, no violence, etc.  I think this is extremely important.  Not to maintain a semblence of normalcy in front of them but rather to not indulge in outrageous behaviors - that being just plain rude and out of place.  heck we even manage to scare the vanilla third as it is sometimes.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's a good thing that we can be open about who we are and yet not abuse it.  This is the way any "normal" family should be too.    

Keep up the good work, keep the peace beta wolf,

Kuratori

< Message edited by Kuratori -- 5/13/2006 7:17:42 PM >

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