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Legitimate? - 5/27/2011 10:41:12 PM

slavemale4use11

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/23/2011
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Mistresses and experienced Subs I humbly ask for your opinion about a person who has been messaging me. She says she can let me go through her course, and learn to be a better sub, but then her messages started looking like they weren't directed at me but from some sort of file.

I've had the real life kind of experience based training, I wondered if there were any legitimate 'online' training or I should block her?

- Aaron

Post #: 1

RE: Legitimate? - 5/27/2011 11:13:31 PM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavemale4use11
Mistresses and experienced Subs I humbly ask for your opinion about a person who has been messaging me. She says she can let me go through her course, and learn to be a better sub, but then her messages started looking like they weren't directed at me but from some sort of file.

If she's soliciting you, and asking for money, that's a red flag right there. The word for that is "spammer", if nothing else. It's pretty poor business ethics.

quote:

I've had the real life kind of experience based training, I wondered if there were any legitimate 'online' training or I should block her?

Yes and no. You can learn practical life skills online, and BDSM relationship skills, but there is no magic slave training program that will make you a better slave *in everyone's definition of the term slave*.

I teach a number of things online, most of which are totally vanilla and doubtless utterly boring to anyone not in an obscure academic field. Online can be a very effective medium for learning, with powerful information exchanging and conferencing tools. But it is not a substitute for hands-on field experience. I also do some pervy fitness and nutrition training/counseling online, with accountability check-ins and practical online tools for getting your diet and exercise routines under control in a sustainable habit forming way without feeling like you're making extreme or unsustainable changes. And that's quite effective. But I wouldn't claim that any form of training, online or not, will magically make you a better slave for every single person out there. Different people have different relationship preferences, and there are no shortcuts to learning your current dominant's personal preferences.

One thing you definitely can teach online is relationship skills, negotiation and communication skills, so that you have a better tool set for becoming a good partner in a healthy, sustainable D/s relationship. That's not the typical thing you'll see offered by the kind of person who spams profiles with cut and paste stuff, though.

_____________________________

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Post #: 2

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 2:17:32 AM

VideoAdminAlpha

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At the top of every email:

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO OTHER USERS FOR ANY REASON!
Read about Common Scams and Online Safety Information

If you click read it will link you to some more information.

< Message edited by VideoAdminAlpha -- 5/28/2011 2:18:34 AM >

_____________________________

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Post #: 3

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 2:53:34 AM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
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quote:

LadyNTrainer
You can learn practical life skills online, and BDSM relationship skills, but there is no magic slave training program that will make you a better slave *in everyone's definition of the term slave*.
I teach a number of things online, most of which are totally vanilla and doubtless utterly boring to anyone not in an obscure academic field. Online can be a very effective medium for learning, with powerful information exchanging and conferencing tools. But it is not a substitute for hands-on field experience

What she said.

OP, learning how to be a male slave=simply being obedient, and following the rules to the letter. Every woman is different; so the only thing for you to do, is follow someone who matches you thoughts, and kinks. M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

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Post #: 4

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 3:17:05 AM

mummyman321

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From: Dusseldorf
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminAlpha

The buck stops here.

VAA,
If we are not to send any money, how can the Buck stop with you?

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Post #: 5

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 3:22:28 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Ooohhhhh. Is it MystressWorld? Can you get your 'training' for $9.95 a month? Do you get three months subscription free when you purchase a year up front?

If there wasn't kink involved, would you send other people money over the net?

_____________________________

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Post #: 6

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 3:28:22 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Ooohhhhh. Is it MystressWorld? Can you get your 'training' for $9.95 a month? Do you get three months subscription free when you purchase a year up front?

If there wasn't kink involved, would you send other people money over the net?

MystressWorld's trademark tactic is to tell the target sub how 'special' he is, and how very, very much he was 'chosen'.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

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Post #: 7

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 3:32:43 AM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Is it MystressWorld? Can you get your 'training' for $9.95 a month? Do you get three months subscription free when you purchase a year up front?

I don't know about this MystressWorld, but they seem to be makings selves illegitimate, simply by being so cheap... Unless the instructions, simply mean "listen to her, and do what she says." M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 8

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 3:53:46 AM

LadyConstanze

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FR: A bit strange that somebody would pick you randomly for online training, I mean each and every female profile here receives requests for just that, why actually go out and search? If you haven't already been asked to pay for it, I expect it's going to happen soon...

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Those who do and those who don't!

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Post #: 9

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 3:58:52 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

If there wasn't kink involved, would you send other people money over the net?

This, but also:

Would you send money to a woman that you'd met on a dating site to teach you how to have non-kinky relationships? What do you think is different about BDSM that suddenly makes that pitch credible?

People like that play on your insecurities. You don't need any special skills to have a D/s relationship. There are some practical things it's good to know if you're going to be tied up or beaten or have needles used on you, but I wouldn't rely on CBT for those, I don't think.

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Post #: 10

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 4:02:14 AM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW

I don't know about this MystressWorld

Well in that case:

Domi posted a link to this thread the other day. I'd forgotten about it, but it made a nice re-read. You may enjoy it. :-)

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3066508

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

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Post #: 11

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 7:28:54 AM

LadyNTrainer

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Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
People like that play on your insecurities. You don't need any special skills to have a D/s relationship. There are some practical things it's good to know if you're going to be tied up or beaten or have needles used on you, but I wouldn't rely on CBT for those, I don't think.

I will respectfully disagree; I think it really is a more complex skill set, both on the physical side and the communication/negotiation side. Vanillas can get away with a bit less communicating. Kinksters who are doing deep catharsis, intense physical and emotional scenes, playing with childhood mine fields and potential emotional triggers had really better have their expectations in line and know their partners.state of mind intimately, moment to moment. Vanillas benefit from communicating; heavy kinksters HAVE to communicate, and on topics that most vanillas may never need to talk about with their partners.

We won't even talk about the complexity of the skill set if your kink is inverted shibari suspension fisting fireplay.

It's harder to teach a hands-on skill set over the Internet, but you can get a pretty solid start in the basics and the safety aspect, and that's a good thing.

If we're talking about the typical "slave training" scam offered online though, they aren't dealing with either of these practical skill sets, and IMO are pretty worthless except for the fantasy.

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 5/28/2011 7:30:26 AM >

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Post #: 12

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 8:19:09 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

I will respectfully disagree; I think it really is a more complex skill set, both on the physical side and the communication/negotiation side. [snip] Vanillas benefit from communicating; heavy kinksters HAVE to communicate, and on topics that most vanillas may never need to talk about with their partners.

Feel free to disagree (and you don't need me to tell you that :p) but I'd say that what you're talking about is the same skill set used more intensively. While it's true that kinksters might end up covering ground that vanillas wouldn't touch, the actual techniques of communicating and interpreting are the same, whether you're discussing the outcome of someone's messy day at work or the outcome of a messy scene.

quote:

We won't even talk about the complexity of the skill set if your kink is inverted shibari suspension fisting fireplay. It's harder to teach a hands-on skill set over the Internet, but you can get a pretty solid start in the basics and the safety aspect, and that's a good thing.

I disagree that you can get a 'solid' start from the internet; there's no way I'd put me or mine in the hands of someone with a bunch of rope and a suspension bolt if they've never had hands-on training. I did say that there were practical skills that were worth knowing - but the OP said that the course was aimed at making him a 'better sub', and IMO someone who's picked up some basic ideas on physical play from the internet is in no way automatically a 'better' submissive than someone who's willing to learn those things with me in person.

<grammar edit>

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 5/28/2011 8:20:38 AM >

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Post #: 13

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 8:43:29 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
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If you want to be trained on how to be a better sub, go take a course on wine, laying tile, cooking, learning another language, basic plumbing skills, computer repair, or sewing or take up drawing or painting. Go read a book, join a book club, learn how to butcher a pig, plant a tree or sow a garden, learn faux painting or take up woodworking.

All of these skills and more will make you a better human being - the most basic skill of being a good submissive...

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Post #: 14

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 11:50:24 AM

SthrnCom4t

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Joined: 9/9/2007
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Can you learn to be a better submissive from online....yes, and no. Yes, if you increase your self knowledge. Yes, if you increase your ability to communicate. (not just saying what you want, but creating a safe space to allow the other person to say what they want, etc.) No, if you think it's the same as live, face to face interaction. Both have their pros and cons, but they are undeniably different.

Can you be inspired to do things you wouldn't do *for yourself*, but will do if you feel it will please someone else. Sure. Will you have to pay money for it? Maybe, maybe not.

Will you find a sustainable, long term, fully balanced relationship...it's certainly possible as a starting point, but not the usual outcome.

OP, I read your profile. Why do you think Dominants/Dommes are *superior*?

_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

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Post #: 15

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 12:15:15 PM

slavemale4use11

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/23/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SthrnCom4t

Can you learn to be a better submissive from online....yes, and no. Yes, if you increase your self knowledge. Yes, if you increase your ability to communicate. (not just saying what you want, but creating a safe space to allow the other person to say what they want, etc.) No, if you think it's the same as live, face to face interaction. Both have their pros and cons, but they are undeniably different.

Can you be inspired to do things you wouldn't do *for yourself*, but will do if you feel it will please someone else. Sure. Will you have to pay money for it? Maybe, maybe not.

Will you find a sustainable, long term, fully balanced relationship...it's certainly possible as a starting point, but not the usual outcome.

OP, I read your profile. Why do you think Dominants/Dommes are *superior*?

That is a part of my kink, SthrnCom4t. While they, as 'just people' may not be superior to me at all, in the realm of the 'fantasy' part of my kink, and in the role of Dominant I choose to see them this way. (While not losing my brain or accepting the unacceptable)

- Aaron

(in reply to SthrnCom4t)

Post #: 16

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 12:20:18 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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I genuinely think that's the most calm and reasonable answer I've ever seen to that question.

Kudos, Aaron.

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Post #: 17

RE: Legitimate? - 5/28/2011 11:58:03 PM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
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quote:

LadyConstanze
I mean each and every female profile here receives requests for just that

I know... That is peculiar. I guess they're looking for a quicker payoff, by actively searching. I have to say, I don't much like requests from men, wanting to be trained online either.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW
I don't know about this MystressWorld

Well in that case:

Domi posted a link to this thread the other day. I'd forgotten about it, but it made a nice re-read. You may enjoy it. :-)

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3066508

Oh my goodness. The new, and improved (not) way to get money on the net. Looks like a bad joke.

quote:

PeonForHer
MystressWorld's trademark tactic is to tell the target sub how 'special' he is, and how very, very much he was 'chosen'.

So... Did you fall for it?

M

< Message edited by SexyBossyBBW -- 5/29/2011 12:06:45 AM >

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 18

RE: Legitimate? - 5/29/2011 12:26:37 AM

isoLadyOwner

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/22/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Ooohhhhh. Is it MystressWorld? Can you get your 'training' for $9.95 a month? Do you get three months subscription free when you purchase a year up front?

If there wasn't kink involved, would you send other people money over the net?

MystressWorld's trademark tactic is to tell the target sub how 'special' he is, and how very, very much he was 'chosen'.

One person I corresponded with several years ago (not on CM) stressed how unique I was and that they simply don't write but I am such an extremely rare exception.

She was built like a fetish model but had no head but she was obviously a fetish model, maybe a swimsuit model so needless to say I was ready to send money. She had flattered me too so it was going to be lots of money.

What followed was a backstory about someone who lived nearby in the US but was temporarily at University in the UK pursuing a degree in fashion.

She named an Institution that offered no classes in design or fashion making the pursuit of a degree in fashion there dubious at best.

I did not send the cash she requested to the designated PO box in the UK.

Since she was a fetish model (although she had no head) and also flattered me I would have made her independently wealthy but for the whole earning of a fashion degree at a University that offered no classes in fashion thing.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 19

RE: Legitimate? - 5/29/2011 12:53:16 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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quote:

Since she was a fetish model (although she had no head) and also flattered me I would have made her independently wealthy but for the whole earning of a fashion degree at a University that offered no classes in fashion thing.

See, that's what happens when you let those pesky facts get in the way of a good kink!

_____________________________

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Post #: 20

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