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Awareness -> RE: Male vs. Female Dominance (My 1st thread) (5/30/2011 5:09:26 AM)
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In lighter news, somewhere lurking under all this is a thread. Let's see if I can get a meaningful response to Heather before lockdown.
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ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
Well thank you again for participating Awareness. It seems you can't deal with disagreement on any level, you interpret any such disagreement as an attack. Let me assure you I am not Hanners, and I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to examine your ideas in the light of my question is all. I haven't insulted you, but you have insulted me, and for no reason. I'll let it pass this time, but I'll thank you not to do that in the future. No. Look, this is something that people really do need to get over. I didn't insult you, I made a very clear statement which you chose to misinterpret. I then corrected your misapprehension and you chose to interpret it as an insult.
Now, I firmly believe that the meaning of a communication is the response you get. This implies that the onus of clear communication is upon the individual who makes the statement - in this case, me - however I simply don't know you well enough to pitch my sentences so they'll work their way through your internal model of the world and strike your consciousness in the way I intend. Suffice it to say that you're misinterpreting what I'm saying through the lens of ego and taking it personally. That's not the way it's intended, so stop presuming adversarial intent where none exists.
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By this measure, I'm very old. I have spent this whole thread asking for input from more experienced people. Altering my position in the light of that input, and doing so openly. So obviously I don't think I understand the world better than anybody else, let alone everybody else. I'm speaking in more generic terms. A simple position is one thing. Wait until you've had your world-view completely shaken to pieces once or twice. That's when things really become interesting.
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You, on the other hand post the same basic position on every thread, and ignore or dismiss any any reply that opposes your view. Clearly you do think you understand the world better than everybody else. I hope you appreciate the irony of this, but by your own standard you have a lot of growing up to do. No. My views spring from the same fundamental position, but I've never articulated these particular points before, so I'm afraid your statement is a synthesis of your own view about me, not a correct statement of what I've actually posted.
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This could be so, but the impression I get is that the box I put you into is pretty much the same box everybody else puts you in. These are your first two mistakes. The first is that saying 'everyone' is incorrect. There are plenty of people who understand me, but feel no need to rush to my rescue in a thread. The second is not thinking for yourself. The fact that all the cool kids - or rather, people whom you feel are the cool kids - regard an individual in a specific way is no excuse for failing to make up your own mind.
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Now if I were the only one, or even in the minority, then perhaps you might be right that its an error, but since pretty much everybody agrees with my categorization, I'm inclined to think that it is the correct one, especially since so many of those with much more life and lifestyle experience think so as well. Age is no guarantee of maturity, experience or wisdom - although the odds tend to favour it. As I've opined before, this lifestyle attracts many with issues and the doctrine of self-interest is strong in us all. That means that until you can understand why people react the way they do, you're left guessing at their motivations. All you know is, I piss people off. Well guess what - so does Hanners. Chew over that for a while before you become too self-congratulatory about your insights into my character.
I'll give you a hint. Ignore what people say. Ask yourself why they're saying it. The answer to this question will give you more insight than you could possibly imagine.
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That's very interesting and obvious, but I asked you why YOU think penetrative sex is dominant. What your reply had to do with the question beyond objecting to my use of the word "all" is beyond me. I'm invading a woman's body in the most intimate way possible with a piece of my own body that's pretty much designed specifically for the job. I imagine women who use strap-ons on men do so specifically to try and approximate the same sense of dominant power.
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OK, that's a valid difference. Never having been penetrated by anything that can impregnate me I can't speak to the psychological difference. It does make a certain sense, but I still fail to see how that makes it dominant or submissive in and of itself. Nothing is anything in and of itself. I really don't want to go into Platonism or the Theory of Forms at this point. Dominant and submissive are labels we ascribe to a complex set of interactions which invoke feelings and responses. And it's very much tied up with the power of choice. Claiming you're dominant is irrelevant if you lack the means to exert your will. When a woman instructs a man to penetrate her, she's not exerting her will, she's trying to convince him to exert his. All she has is compliance, not dominance. For me, that's a critical difference.
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One could look at it the other way around, and say the woman is in fact being the dominant one by extracting the seed needed to perpetuate the species from the male. I know you don't agree with that (I don't really myself) but you have to admit that it is a valid way of interpreting the same act, and it reverses the role of dominant and submissive. You could argue it was to her advantage, but ultimately I doubt it makes a whole lot of difference.
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