asking a Master a question (Full Version)

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subshine2005 -> asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 6:45:12 AM)

when a submissive asks a Master if there is another sub and He does not answe how shoud she feel?



merrymasochist -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 7:20:14 AM)

It would depend on how important the question is to you. A serious question merits an equally serious answer. Yours is a legitimate question as the answer could have a direct effect on y'all's dealings with one another. Personally, I would take a lack of answer as a small red flag and proceed with sensible caution. I would then politely and specifically repeat my question again with the reasons as to why the question was important to me and my need of an answer, because sometimes questions can be missed and we are all human. If there were still no reply after my second asking, that would raise a major red flag with me and would probably cause me to halt my dealings with them. Good communication is too important to me to let something like that slide. 

Just my thoughts. I wish you well.

Sincerly,
merry 



Merritt27 -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 7:23:40 AM)

That is dependant upon the sub.  If i asked my Daddy if there were another i did not know about, there would be hurt feelings no doubt....not because there was another, but because it was a secret.  i'm not sure how you worded the question, if it were me i would ask Him for permission to speak freely and then explain my feelings to Him...he may be more inclined to discuss it then, rather than feeling like you are demanding an answer.  i dont envy your situation.....good luck!




slaverosebeauty -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 9:09:49 AM)

I would watch his mannerisms and what he does. If he changes the subject or averts his eyes, then you have his answer; if he gets quiet, you have an answer. Not saying anything is just as bad as saysing 'yes.'

I would feel betrayed if I found out my parnter had someone else; thats me though. I don't [and won't] be shared, and I won't share either. Their are too few female bottoms and too many male tops anyway.

{{hugs}}



bandit25 -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 9:18:48 AM)

I couldn't agree more...if he doesn't answer the second time, you have your answer.



sublizzie -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 9:25:50 AM)

I'm not sure that any feelings are "shoulds". To me, they just are.

If I were getting involved with someone I would want to deal with the whole "how many are you planning on and how do I fit" question before going too far. It's one thing to become part of a poly situation if you know about it. It's something totally different if it suddenly just pops up. Giving consent to poly is much different than having it thrust upon you. This is why I don't play with married Doms unless I know for absolutely certain that it's not a problem with his wife. If she's not giving consent, then it's cheating in my mind.

I think a respectful question should be answered respectfully. If he's not capable of doing that, then why would you want to be with him?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 3:49:34 PM)

The fact that you had to ask the first time is telling.  The fact that he didn't just answer is telling.

There's a 95% chance that there's another sub.

There's a 100% chance that there's a lack of security and communication between you and your dom.



TolerableCruelty -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 6:00:19 PM)

Isn't the the OP the one that started the thread about the "collar of protections" and if any "slave/subs had been hurt by them in the past"... or am I wrong ?

*sniffs the air and notes the unmistakeable stench of an online player "dom"*

T.R.



CrappyDom -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 6:05:32 PM)

My issue if I were you would not be "is there another" but why do I not trust him enough and have to ask these sort of things.  If you haven't spelled out what the boundaries are as far as other partners, you don't have much going.

Am I right in assuming this is some sort of long distance "real time" relationship?



fastlane -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 6:08:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subshine2005

when a submissive asks a Master if there is another sub and He does not answe how shoud she feel?


Like he doesn't want to talk about it ..... YET!



fastlane -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 6:12:30 PM)

I'm sorry, but I've been called to task on this same topic.
He should let you know if there is someone else he is interested in, this I have learned...The Hard Way!
However, in time I sure he would not only tell you what was going on, but also why it was going on. Some Master's/Doms do not mean to hurt a submissive, but go about things wrong. We are all human. Having said all that, I'm sure he loves you, be patient with him too.
Scorned, Burned and pretty despite the scars, [:@]Kevin



OhBeMyMind -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 6:23:20 PM)

Is it really you Sherlock?????? [;)]

quote:

ORIGINAL: TolerableCruelty

Isn't the the OP the one that started the thread about the "collar of protections" and if any "slave/subs had been hurt by them in the past"... or am I wrong ?

*sniffs the air and notes the unmistakeable stench of an online player "dom"*

T.R.



babysburnin -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 7:18:15 PM)

Betrayed.



piscess -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 7:36:43 PM)

Ask him again, if he still doesn't answer.....
 
follow your gut instinct.
 
piscess



babysburnin -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 7:38:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: babysburnin

Betrayed.


How do you feel?  That is what is important.



slaverosebeauty -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 9:20:59 PM)

subshine2005, in your heart you already know the answer. All you are getting from the rest of us is confirmation of what you are feeling and thinking already. Trust your heart and what your intuition is telling you.

{{hugs}}



theRose4U -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/13/2006 9:45:42 PM)

I would agree. As LA usually says, if you're asking has anyone else ever___ the ansewr is likely yes.
If it looks like a skunk and smells like a skunk...it ain't a freakin pony. the big question is how you feel about it.



twicehappy -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/14/2006 5:27:46 AM)

To my mind a red flag has already went up. The number one keys to this lifestyle are communication and honesty. It appears to me both are lacking here.

You need to ask to speak to him about this in a clear concise manner explaining what you are feeling and why.

If he refuses to be honest or to communicate either way you have a problem.

You also need to ask yourself why this matters so much to you. Are you feeling insecure or jealous? Be prepared to state the truth of your emotions and why.

Personally jealousy was never an issue for me, being lied to was. I always felt that if there was no trust there was no relationship. 




windchymes -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/14/2006 11:23:58 AM)

You "should" feel how you "do" feel.

And I have found that guys who don't answer a question usually "would" answer it with the answer you don't want.



nslut4whtmaster -> RE: asking a Master a question (5/14/2006 1:56:32 PM)

i have been in this same situation before where there was another submissive but Himself was not ready to tell me about the other. During this time of His failure to disclose things there was talk of Him getting me a sister. When i first came to Him, being in a poly situation was not something i wanted at all, so i understood the reluctance to disclose the other. i would have left the situation all together. However, now i have a wonderful sub sister. Neither one of us like how we came to exist as sisters but the fact is we are here now. we had two choices, leave or stay we both chose to stay. Sometimes DOMs need some forgiveness too, they are not perfect and can make some serious errors in judgement. you just have to decide what is a forgiveable offense.

peace and respect,
ns



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