Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Punishment and Disipline


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Punishment and Disipline Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Punishment and Disipline - 5/29/2011 4:26:42 AM   
Contentment


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/27/2011
Status: offline 		I'm reading many profiles of different submissive people (mostly women, as I'm straight, but I have read a few others). I keep getting stuck on the terms of "punishment" or "discipline" in regards to treatment of themselves.

Many of the profiles seem to suggest that this treatment is what they want, which, to my understanding, defeats the whole point of calling it by either name.

I don't object to just torturing a person for my own amusement, but calling it a "punishment" or "discipline" strikes me as misuse of the words.

Those words are reserved for things they don't want and in response to things they did wrong. Punishments must suit the crime and discipline must correct the mistake.

I don't have this wrong, so what's going on here?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/29/2011 4:52:37 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Contentment

I'm reading many profiles of different submissive people (mostly women, as I'm straight, but I have read a few others). I keep getting stuck on the terms of "punishment" or "discipline" in regards to treatment of themselves.

Many of the profiles seem to suggest that this treatment is what they want, which, to my understanding, defeats the whole point of calling it by either name.

I have to disagree here. I want and need a relationship with firm boundaries and expectations. If for some reason I overstep those boundaries or do not live up to his expectations, I expect to be punished. It helps to focus my mind and stops me from making the same mistake twice.

I don't get punished often, because I am disciplined within myself and follow the rules and instructions well. Punishment is not fun. I'm a masochist, and he has ways of making pain play really unpleasant and something I don't want to repeat. He prefers to inflict pain as punishment, and I accept his preference.

I don't object to just torturing a person for my own amusement, but calling it a "punishment" or "discipline" strikes me as misuse of the words.

Round here that's called 'funishment' Pain play as pleasure is totally different. I often beg Master for pain play, and as he's a sadist then often that's enough to get things moving, lol

Those words are reserved for things they don't want and in response to things they did wrong. Punishments must suit the crime and discipline must correct the mistake.

*shrugs* - I'm sure those people will clarify with their Dominant/Top/whatever what they mean by what they say. YMMV

I don't have this wrong, so what's going on here?

semantics, mostly. One person's punishment is another person's funishment. Don't get hung up on the terminology and you'll find life is a little less stressful





_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/29/2011 5:02:39 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Many people seem to confuse funishment with punishment - and

some submissives want guidelines and boundaries. I think asking for discipline and punishment is an attempt to indicate that they require boundaries in a relationship. There is something very comforting knowing that if you stay inside a boundary that you will be pleasing and safe from punishment and disappointment.

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/29/2011 5:15:47 AM   
Contentment


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

some submissives want guidelines and boundaries. I think asking for discipline and punishment is an attempt to indicate that they require boundaries in a relationship. There is something very comforting knowing that if you stay inside a boundary that you will be pleasing and safe from punishment and disappointment.

That makes a lot of sense.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/29/2011 6:19:41 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We don't have a punishment dynamic because it just messes with my head. Except a pro forma one to relieve guilt if I'm stuck. But discipline is something else, that's teaching me how to do things right. And for someone like me, with free floating anxiety, knowing what I should and shouldn't do is very safe, very relaxing.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/29/2011 6:27:54 AM   
PetiteOralSub


Posts: 81
Joined: 5/21/2010
Status: offline 		so what's going on here?

Semantics.
Different levels of experience with the LiseStyle.
Different goals -- cam girls, scammers etcetera are most likely just mouthing words they have seen.

sub psychology needs
Direction == Clear communication, Orders
Restraint == Boundaries
Discipline == Punishment, undesired treatment for disobeying the above.

masochists want pain, "funishment", but I hate that bullshit role-playing kind of discipline;
whereby I get a spanking for being bad because you dont like to think of yourself as a man who likes to spank a woman.
I really hate that. That's the biggest reason why I avoid self-titled Doms and seek fully admitted to Sadists.
If you like giving me pain, if taking your pain is one of my duties, let's call it that and move on to working out the really hard stuff,
like communication. The physical stuff is easy between humans.
And if you are ashamed of Your Sadistic nature, You are not going to be able to Master me and help me become a desirable partner for you.

_____________________________

respectfully

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/29/2011 8:07:42 AM   
txurinal


Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		When owned, i was often paddled, whipped, etc by my MASTER who called it discipline. HE use it to assert HIS dominance, to remind me of my status, and basically because HE really enjoyed it.

Punishment, on the other hand, was not physical. It usually involved having something denied or taken way from me. When punished, i was usually locked up during the duration of it

(in reply to PetiteOralSub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/29/2011 8:10:58 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Contentment

I'm reading many profiles of different submissive people (mostly women, as I'm straight, but I have read a few others). I keep getting stuck on the terms of "punishment" or "discipline" in regards to treatment of themselves.

Many of the profiles seem to suggest that this treatment is what they want, which, to my understanding, defeats the whole point of calling it by either name.

I don't object to just torturing a person for my own amusement, but calling it a "punishment" or "discipline" strikes me as misuse of the words.

Those words are reserved for things they don't want and in response to things they did wrong. Punishments must suit the crime and discipline must correct the mistake.

I don't have this wrong, so what's going on here?


it is a mistery

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/29/2011 9:09:07 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I think that if people read a profile, are interested in the person, they should email them and ask them what they mean by the terms they use.

I see "funishment" used on the boards often. I have never seen it on the other side. I do not know if the term is widely used anywhere else. It might not be widely used in the lexicon of other people you might be interested in. So if someone says they want punishment, and you find them interesting... ASK THEM what they mean by it. You maybe passing on someone terrific because of a misunderstanding over a label.

If I see someone interesting, and they are interested in me, I am going to ask them what it is that they mean by their labels... I am not going to assume we define words the same way.



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/30/2011 6:39:18 PM   
aromanholiday


Posts: 307
Joined: 4/12/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Contentment
I don't object to just torturing a person for my own amusement, but calling it a "punishment" or "discipline" strikes me as misuse of the words.

Those words are reserved for things they don't want and in response to things they did wrong. Punishments must suit the crime and discipline must correct the mistake.


I agree, but that's precisely why some of us want these things. Few things correct a mistake in as unforgettable a way as physical pain. Submissive people in general like to be obedient: it makes us feel that all is well in our world. Some of us need this very strongly. To avoid something as distressing and guilt-producing as disobedience many of the latter group would happily (OK, maybe not happily, but most willingly and with full understanding of the reasons) undergo torture to remove the bad behavior. Especially habitual bad behavior. If you're doing something displeasing over and over again despite your own attempts to get a handle on it, despite your strong desire not to do it and repeatedly exercising willpower, then you're in a bad and rather desperate place, if you really like to be obedient. You realize that in this specific case you need something besides yourself, something outside of yourself, to pull you out of that cycle. Discipline will do that. I don't know if the submissives posting profiles you've read know this or have this intention, but I figure if I know it, they could certainly know it as well.

_____________________________

"Isn't it odd how we misunderstand the hidden unity of kindness and cruelty?"

My profile is not turned off. It is broken and I am too lazy to make a new one.

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/30/2011 6:57:45 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Contentment

I'm reading many profiles of different submissive people (mostly women, as I'm straight, but I have read a few others). I keep getting stuck on the terms of "punishment" or "discipline" in regards to treatment of themselves.

Many of the profiles seem to suggest that this treatment is what they want, which, to my understanding, defeats the whole point of calling it by either name.

I don't object to just torturing a person for my own amusement, but calling it a "punishment" or "discipline" strikes me as misuse of the words.

Those words are reserved for things they don't want and in response to things they did wrong. Punishments must suit the crime and discipline must correct the mistake.

I don't have this wrong, so what's going on here?


Just because the word is Punishment or Discipline, does not mean that a sub does not want to endure those things. Some of us can rather crave it at times. BDSM, the first two letters stand for Bondage and Discipline. They did not name it BDSM becuase people did not want it. I love to serve a Domme. Do I expect her to beat me all the time? Certainly not. Do I always want to be corrected or disciplined? No. Are there times I want her to take out her full fury on me, Without question YES! So yes, as a sub, there are time I do crave Punishment and Discipline. And in the hands of the right Domme, that will be a very long night :)

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/30/2011 9:18:22 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Contentment
I'm reading many profiles of different submissive people (mostly women, as I'm straight, but I have read a few others). I keep getting stuck on the terms of "punishment" or "discipline" in regards to treatment of themselves. Many of the profiles seem to suggest that this treatment is what they want, which, to my understanding, defeats the whole point of calling it by either name.

You need a better imagination. I should think that special forces training absolutely qualifies as "discipline" and would reasonably be described as torture yet apparently some people want it. Is it really that hard to understand.

Carol doesn't want to be punished. But she quite specifically did hope to learn a lot about discipline and strength. "Punishment", assuming I didn't see it as a waste of time, would just be the price one needs to pay if you want to explore discipline. It ain't discipline without boundaries and they aren't boundaries if they are not defended.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/30/2011 10:15:24 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		FIIK <F>uck <I>f <I> <K>now If I may I realize your new to this site so ill be gentle. Did it ever occur to you to ask the person who made the statement. Rather than asking a bunch of strangers what yet another stranger has already stated. I really think that i know what the stranger is thinking here allow me to explain

Do you see where Im going with this??? Your asking a really stupid question.

welcome to CM I really hope you can further elucidate further what other strangers are thinking by doing the <Vulcan Mind Meld>

GoodWill Ambassador BadOne



_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/31/2011 12:27:45 AM   
Nanako


Posts: 222
Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline 		My thoughts on punishment I posted elsewhere, see the link in my signature ^^

_____________________________

My thoughts on punishment

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/31/2011 1:02:19 AM   
OwnedFemaleFlesh


Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline 		Discipline doesn't just mean punishment, it also means training. I very rarely get punished, but I am constantly disciplined in that I am frequently given orders that will train me to be a better submissive, to teach me to accept pain from my Owner and to instill a sense of what my position is within the relationship.

owned

(in reply to Contentment)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/31/2011 9:00:13 AM   
uncertainlyizzy


Posts: 42
Joined: 4/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

But discipline is something else, that's teaching me how to do things right. And for someone like me, with free floating anxiety, knowing what I should and shouldn't do is very safe, very relaxing.


I'm the same way with anxiety. Knowing exactly what's expected and knowing what will happen if those expectations are not met is very comforting. There's a stability in it. It's something that I really need in a relationship. Most people in my life just lash out randomly for different reasons and triggers and in different ways. I rarely know what I've done wrong or if it's even me or what to expect when I make even the slightest missteps. Having someone who has concrete expectations and consistent reactions is a blessing for me.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/31/2011 9:15:45 AM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		I am a masochist, I LOVE funishment or fun pain.

It is often a fun game when the funishment comes from nitpicky reasons (but not a requirement for me.)   Regardless of how, I like being taken to that level of intensity in general from my masochistic side and if the Domme likes to find reason for a number of anything it's cool.

I am also submissive and like to serve.   I like the threat of punishment hanging over me, it motivates me to serve better (to be better disciplined as it was described above.)   Punishment goes beyond the intensity I enjoy and takes it to a level I don't enjoy in an effort to keep me better disciplined.   For me, there's a defining line between the two.  For some, they enjoy the fantasy and role play of there being a reason for the funishment they crave.   There is nothing wrong with either, it's just a question of what's your kink.

(in reply to uncertainlyizzy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/31/2011 10:33:01 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Are there times I want her to take out her full fury on me, Without question YES! So yes, as a sub, there are time I do crave Punishment and Discipline. And in the hands of the right Domme, that will be a very long night :)


For some odd reason I am now thinking of applying a vicious deep heat on you, then saran wrapping you until you're completely mummyfied and then play a bit with ice cubes, warm water, maybe a hair dryer...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to mummyman321)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/31/2011 10:47:16 AM   
DeviantMan


Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Are there times I want her to take out her full fury on me, Without question YES! So yes, as a sub, there are time I do crave Punishment and Discipline. And in the hands of the right Domme, that will be a very long night :)


For some odd reason I am now thinking of applying a vicious deep heat on you, then saran wrapping you until you're completely mummyfied and then play a bit with ice cubes, warm water, maybe a hair dryer...


Can we get a video of that???? PLEASE?????

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Punishment and Disipline - 5/31/2011 10:48:39 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		LOL, well not likely since we are on different continents unless I am mistaken, I got a bit carried away...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DeviantMan)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Punishment and Disipline Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078