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I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 2:44:29 PM   
SlaveBitchLeanne


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/7/2006
Status: offline 		I met a potential doome on alt, we chatted on msn, I arranged to meet her, but she stopped communicating, I sent a few messages saying i was sorry, then got a friend to message her, we got back in touch, she sent what I thought was a fairly friendly email (explaining I should be less dominant).  As her profile said she liked to be begged I thought she just wanted me to beg her a bit before she carried on communicating.  Anyway we spoke a bit things went quite well, I sent another email and she again stopped contacting me, I sent, in fairness many messages begging her, then she said too stop contacting her and she was sufficiently strong worded to imply I had upset her and harrassed her.  I feel really rubbish now, I've upset someone and I can't talk to a friend about it, because well I'd have to explain my idea of sex.  I would really like someone to atleast give their opinion about this, I'll probably give up on online searching now:  I just feel really bad.

To give my side, I thought she wanted me to beg abit, and was always prepared to be told she was no longer interested.  I jsut didn't mean to upset her in the process.

Hopefully someone will be nice to me......
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 3:00:39 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		So she wasn't the one. Move on.... it's not the end of life.

(in reply to SlaveBitchLeanne)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 3:00:48 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Lick your wounds and move on.
 
If you truly desire a mistress, the Universe will provide an opportunity for you to meet one somewhere, somewhen. It will be up to you to recognize her and to address her. It may be at a funeral, in a shop, at a gym, anywhere. Communicate your need to the Universe and have faith.

(in reply to SlaveBitchLeanne)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 3:18:36 PM   
CAROLF


Posts: 56
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline 		don't feel bad, it's not you.  it's her, just remember, it's not always about you, heck she could have a house full and was just playin.  move on, no wounds, learn, be more careful and above all...................don't settle for less than you want!!

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 5:12:54 PM   
wolffeathers


Posts: 315
Joined: 8/6/2005
From: Clearwater
Status: offline 		Just because I say in my profile that I like begging doesn't mean that I want someone to beg me to set up a meet.  She may have thought that you had allready made up your mind, and was scared away by such.

_____________________________

It's my way or the highway. Just happens that the highway is on my way.

~Master Wolf

(in reply to CAROLF)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 5:16:26 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		It happens to all of us, you just have to learn to suck it up and move on.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to wolffeathers)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 5:16:31 PM   
piscess


Posts: 101
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		Leanne,
 
Understand that you are on the internet.
 
Learn that it did not work out.
 
Move on and don't worry further about it.
 
Oh, and don't beg so easily, please.
 
piscess

(in reply to SlaveBitchLeanne)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 5:24:11 PM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		welcome to the club Leanne, this won't be the last encounter you will face online...especially here...i should know. i've pissed off a few people myself (but not by excessive emails). just remember one thing, if they do that to you...they are not worth your time...not the other way around.


_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to SlaveBitchLeanne)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 5:29:13 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Rule.."Lick your wounds and move on."

Great advice, but easier said then done.
Hell, if I was double jointed I would lick everything!
Live and Learn Kid,...life sucks, optimistically yours, Kevin 


_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 5:41:02 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		There are all kinds of people on the internet with all kinds of personalities, perspectives and backgrounds. Just put it down to experience.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 6:48:14 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		It sounds to me like this person has issues of her own. Any person with a bit of self-respect would hopefully at least send a message saying "I'm no longer interested in pursuing this relationship". For whatever reason, she's not interested. It may have nothing to do with you as a person (considering that she probably barely knows you), and have a lot more to do with her own unclear expectations, but in any case, it's time for you to move on.

As far as you upsetting her, I wouldn't worry too much. As I said earlier, the entire process seems to have illuminated several issues on her end of the fence. There probably isn't anything you can do that would improve the situation, especially if she isn't interested. Continuing to make contact will only irritate her more, and may even result in her pressing the accusations of harrassment (not good if she goes to your ISP over it!). The best thing you can do is look at the early signs of problems, note them for future reference, and try again somewhere else.

One of the things I'd strongly recommend is that you spend a little time getting your own desires, needs, and expectations clear. Spend some time getting to know people in the areas of the lifestyle community that interest you without being caught up in trying to get into a relationship, and figure out what it is about this that you are looking for. Once you've got yourself squared away, you can start worrying about developing potential relationships.

Don't get discouraged. This happens to just about everyone who comes into the lifestyle... or any kind of relationship search, really. When the timing is right, the person who is supposed to be in your life will show up. "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." *smiles*

Lady Zephyr

< Message edited by LadiesBladewing -- 5/13/2006 6:52:24 PM >

_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to SlaveBitchLeanne)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 6:49:23 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

So she wasn't the one. Move on.... it's not the end of life.


I would agree with this but also think that there is a fine line between begging my collar and being desperate. It reads between the lines that she told you to not be so dominant and meant quit being so desperate and demanding that I reply on your time table. If you have to beg and plead and throw yourself under their car to get attention...they aren't interested and you're showing signs of becoming a stalker not what most would find appealing.

Take a class educate yourself in etiquette, cooking, massage and other skills that would be useful. Those things as well as displaying yourself as a confident and well rounded person is more likely to be appealing than desperation.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 7:51:55 PM   
MistressLove999


Posts: 201
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Daytona Beach, Florida
Status: offline 		Your young yet and new to all of this.
I can tell you there are  so many players online.
You will meet people who can lie better then you can tell the truth. Just try not to believe every single thing, don't wear your heart on your sleeve, (steps off soapbox).
ok ok, you get my point I am sure.
But, I do agree with the she could have been more mature in handling you by telling you firmly but, gently to chill with the begging. Then if she wasn't interested, it only takes a quick minute to say, I am sorry we do not seem to click, or, your not what I am looking for after all.
So you goofed up, no biggie, we ALL do, learn and grow from it.
Good Luck in your search, hopefully you will find what it is you seek.

_____________________________

Play nice & Be Well,

Mistress Love

(in reply to SlaveBitchLeanne)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/13/2006 7:52:52 PM   
Kedikat


Posts: 680
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		She may be just a cyber Domme. ( consider she quit communicating after you arranged to meet)With hundreds of email subs. Maybe you just weren't explicit or ingratiating enough in your contacts? Maybe you lacked pics of sufficient interest?
Who cares!
If all it was at, was email, online fantasy, dump her and move on. Worry about making a deeper real connection with someone. If it ends in the online cyber realm, don't sweat it. There are many more where she is coming from. Don't let the internet feelings be real disappointment in your real self and life. Keep the compartments separate, but enjoy.
When One really becomes a part of your life, for some time, then it can be truly important and truly worth feeling some loss.

< Message edited by Kedikat -- 5/13/2006 7:55:27 PM >

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/14/2006 9:20:24 AM   
artglfr


Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		fast reply;

Have fun, as mentioned earlier take classes, meet people go to Munches, try a Garden Club perhaps since you seek a Domme.

_____________________________

Kink Forever
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Docents_of_Museum/

(in reply to Kedikat)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/14/2006 9:47:25 AM   
buffiyum


Posts: 119
Status: offline 		leanne,
When buffy first began online, she was told to do this, or that, in order to please potential 'Ones'... and she did, heck! she try to please Everyone for that matter, in the search for the One, because she didnot know which of those People telling her 'do this' or 'do that' could maybe be the One. she didnot wish to anger the  'One', whoever He might be with doing the 'wrong' thing.
one has now learned this (well ok, still learning it but its a start).....
when you contact a One or that One contact you, just be yourself. Speak honestly and openly of your hopes , your dreams, your values and beliefs and yes, even limits (until you are owned - well thats how buffy feels on that).... if that One has the same ideas, then woo woo!! its a 'connection'.... a beginning to see if anything more, is possible.
For buffy, it was initially way too easy to become upset or angry or confused because of the things that occurred during 'online interactions'.
Now however, one believe this: until you see the whites of their eyes and can reach out and touch that One, They are NOT REAL. They could be a kid for heaven sake, playing your strings just for the sheer hell of it. Point is, They could be anyone - you just dont know. Just as They donot know if you are 'real' until They meet you, either.
If that One was decent at all and secure in Their Dominance, then buffy feels that They would have written back and said 'no thanks and it is ended'.  It would have still perhaps been upsetting to you, given how much you seem to have invested emotionally (understandable at the time k), but at least you would have had 'closure'.  It is time to let what that One did 'settle' into the memory banks so to speak, and sooth the hurt with whatever works best for you (hot tub, wine and friends work best for buffy). In short, move on from that particular 'online interaction' with the knowledge it brought, and try to leave the pain of it behind.
The search for the One is Not easy - nor, given what you (as a professed slave) wish to set at Their feet,  should it be.
one liken the search to a 'journey' of sorts, an incredible journey fraught with terror at times, hurt at other times, and laughter in between.  It is a voyage of  discovery, including 'self-discovery' and it gives us much learning, not all of which is painful. 
Please hold onto your dream, as long as you can, and try hard hun, not to give up k? When all else fails....
remember this:
you are a human being and as such, need to treat yourself with respect regardless how anyone else react to you.
The Best One for you, will see all of what you are, and be  happy.... becuase you will be just what that 'One' has been searching for and getting frustrated cause  They couldnot find you either.
well wishes leanne,
respectfully
this is buffy

(in reply to SlaveBitchLeanne)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/14/2006 11:09:02 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		As one that has watched buffi grow from just the position that you're in it's with great pride that I say GO BUFFI yeah what she said.

(in reply to buffiyum)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/14/2006 11:55:56 AM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP...sometimes communication via the internet can lead to many a miscommunication...without the verbal intonations to be heard the rise and fall of a voice much can be misinterpreted...this may have been the case..but nonetheless the situation stands,she has in essence said leave her be...so...step back dust yourself off and say.......NEXT!!!....be well...Tempting

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I need a friend..... - 5/14/2006 3:23:22 PM   
SlaveBitchLeanne


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/7/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for being kind people, I realise some will have been annoyed at this kind of thread but it was the tonic I needed from the only place I could go.  Thank you.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 19
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