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was I too nice - 6/1/2011 7:29:20 PM   
MsJenniferDark


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/30/2011
Status: offline 		I am a CD Mistress. I am not a submissive, and I do not bottom.

about a month ago my pet was going on a vacatiion... with out me. I was ok with this. She was going to Las Vegas? She is very playful (or she was... more on that...) and knowing how playful she can be I decided that since this was her first trip of Vegas I would allow her 'off leash' for the duration of her vacaton. I though it would be a nice gesture as she had been a good pet until then and rewarded her with some "freedom".

while there she conneted with another CD and "fell in love" with this person. when she came back home she was a different person. completely. she was no longer playful or full of vigor.

was I too nice in letting her off leash for her trip?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: was I too nice - 6/1/2011 7:31:40 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I can't see insdie your relationshp, but from what you've told us your "niceness" was not the issue.

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RE: was I too nice - 6/1/2011 7:44:54 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		You were not too nice, you just did not know your partner very well.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: was I too nice - 6/1/2011 7:59:08 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		I'm taking a wild guess, but I think you weren't her Mistress, you were her fetish doll. She has a thing for CDs, and found a hotter one. She'll leave her as well shortly is my guess.

(in reply to MsJenniferDark)
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RE: was I too nice - 6/1/2011 9:42:27 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		If you cannot trust your Spouse, partner, sub, etc to be without you for fear they will cheat on you, then they were never yours in the first place.

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Profile   Post #: 5
RE: was I too nice - 6/1/2011 9:51:54 PM   
MsJenniferDark


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/30/2011
Status: offline 		in reply to comments:

everything was fine in our relationship - better than fine. near perfection - I thought.

yes she has a thing for CDs - but in honesty I am WAYY hotter than the otherCD. the kicker is the other CD is not a domme, and lives 2000km away... My pet did a complete 180 from the way she was to the way she is during 6 days in vegas...

she was also not a person for chat rooms but since her return she has been chatting incessantly...

maybe I should be extra firm with her and bring her back into line? But that was not actually part of our dynamic prior to her trip.

MsJ

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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: was I too nice - 6/1/2011 10:09:19 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Heather pretty much nailed it. She's into CDs as a fetish, not the person. the way I see it is that she accepted you as a Mistress not because she wanted a Mistress, but because that was the deal to get with the CD she had available. In Vegas, she met another CD who isn't a Mistress, thereby freeing her of all the annoying D/s crap that goes along with being with you.

Now she's chatting all the time..well take a guess why? She's looking for a better deal, a CD without the Mistress.

quote:

maybe I should be extra firm with her and bring her back into line?
Waste of time and effort.. She never really was your pet, you were her kink-fulfillment unit. She's decided the D/s baggage associated with the fetish-fulfillment service you offer is more of a pain than its worth.

Thank her for the good times you had and cut her loose.


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RE: was I too nice - 6/1/2011 10:11:03 PM   
MsJenniferDark


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/30/2011
Status: offline 		@mummyman321


she did not cheat as she had my expressed approval to play while away hense the "off -leash" aspect to her vataction

(in reply to MsJenniferDark)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: was I too nice - 6/1/2011 10:11:43 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Sounds like the trip was planned to meet someone there, perhaps someone in the chat rooms.

Dont know what to tell ya.

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(in reply to MsJenniferDark)
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RE: was I too nice - 6/1/2011 10:22:09 PM   
MsJenniferDark


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/30/2011
Status: offline 		@Arpig She is a submissive (well specifically a switch) and we did play with BDSM. she has been in the lyfestyle for some years...


She was not a chat room person prior to the trip… this was not c=a contrived way to hook up… she did not ask to be let off leash and was unprepared for my allowance of her “freedom” – it was actually something I virtually had to insist on… so yeah I take responsibility for the decision of letting her off leash.

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: was I too nice - 6/1/2011 10:24:10 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

Sounds like the trip was planned to meet someone there, perhaps someone in the chat rooms.
A very real possibility.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: was I too nice - 6/1/2011 10:28:51 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

Arpig She is a submissive (well specifically a switch) and we did play with BDSM. she has been in the lyfestyle for some years...
OK, maybe the new one is a sub. It doesn't change my basic premise. She just wasn't that into you, and now she's not into you at all.

She's in love with somebody else...buh-bye. Do the right thing and act like an adult. send her on her way with your best wishes.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to MsJenniferDark)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: was I too nice - 6/2/2011 4:05:17 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe she just fell in love or lust with somebody else, those things happen...

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(in reply to MsJenniferDark)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: was I too nice - 6/2/2011 5:47:35 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		You know, it seems to me that rather than allowing strangers on the internet (as cool as we are...) speculate with you all the live-long-day...you and she should sit down and have a very serious talk about your relationship. 

Such things as you describe do not generally happen without some sort of reasoning behind them - not always good reasoning, but I believe that unless the other CD is a vampire, this was likely brewing well before she went on the trip.

I wish you peace and love and will hope for a positive outcome for the both of you.  



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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: was I too nice - 6/2/2011 6:05:36 AM   
MsJenniferDark


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/30/2011
Status: offline 		we've had a talk (several infact)

as of this moment she has been released.

apparently this was not brewing for some time and she does not know why she feels this way... she admits to being different and wishes things were the way they were... so that she can find herself I chose to release her...

She doesn't think that it will work out between the other CD and herself but is at a loss as to what to do about it... she called it a stupid fling. I am inclined to agree. But all things being what they are... she now can choose for herself.

anyone interested in a slightly used Mistress - lol

thanks for the advice and the support.

Mistress Jennifer Cinthe Dark
xx


(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: was I too nice - 6/2/2011 6:11:34 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Sorry it worked out that way.  But she doesn't sound like she knows what's best for her or what she wants.

Good luck!


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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: was I too nice - 6/2/2011 6:13:41 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsJenniferDark

we've had a talk (several infact)

as of this moment she has been released.

apparently this was not brewing for some time and she does not know why she feels this way... she admits to being different and wishes things were the way they were... so that she can find herself I chose to release her...

She doesn't think that it will work out between the other CD and herself but is at a loss as to what to do about it... she called it a stupid fling. I am inclined to agree. But all things being what they are... she now can choose for herself.

anyone interested in a slightly used Mistress - lol

thanks for the advice and the support.

Mistress Jennifer Cinthe Dark
xx



So she doesn't think it will work out but she's going ahead anyway and then tells you she thinks it's just a fling?

I disagree with Steven, She knows exactly what she wants..She's playing jump the fence.


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RE: was I too nice - 6/5/2011 11:57:56 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321
If you cannot trust your Spouse, partner, sub, etc to be without you for fear they will cheat on you, then they were never yours in the first place.
I understand what you are saying.... In terms of being in a relationship, and trusting it.

I have however, seen born submissives, who really need to be directed. I have no idea how it works, but I know how to handle one, were I to live with one. "No open relationships, period.! M


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RE: was I too nice - 6/6/2011 1:09:03 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

If you cannot trust your Spouse, partner, sub, etc to be without you for fear they will cheat on you, then they were never yours in the first place.


Yup!  That was basically what I was thinking as well.  If your significant other (doesn't really matter what type of relationship it is) can't go away without cheating on you, then how solid was the relationship in the first place?

BTW OP, why did you insist that the vacation be "off collar"?  If "off collar" implied that she was free to hook up with others while on vacation, then that sounds kind of short-sighted to me.  That's like a wife insisting that her husband partake of the many Las Vegas hookers while he's away at his business conference. 

Sorry that things didn't work out, but it sounds like you were both at fault in this one.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 6/6/2011 1:10:11 PM >

(in reply to mummyman321)
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RE: was I too nice - 6/6/2011 6:20:29 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321
If you cannot trust your Spouse, partner, sub, etc to be without you for fear they will cheat on you, then they were never yours in the first place.
I understand what you are saying.... In terms of being in a relationship, and trusting it.

I have however, seen born submissives, who really need to be directed. I have no idea how it works, but I know how to handle one, were I to live with one. "No open relationships, period.! M



Sexy,
I understand what you are saying. I even go one further. I am one that has never played with multiple Dommes at once. So once I start seeking a Domme, she is it for me. She may have other subs but I will not have other Dommes. But that is my personal preferance. I want to get in the Dommes head, understand her thought processes/decisions. WHat motivates her. I am the absented minded professor/engineer. I can only concentrate on one at a time. I would not know how to handle two LOL!

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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Profile   Post #: 20
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