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RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 7:03:06 AM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Can you afford a small storage unit to put all your things in? Would a friend let you store your computer at his house till you get a new place? Take all your things elsewhere. Including everything you bought to replace the stuff she took to his place.

She's been your friend for years on end, she is involved with a con and it's obvious her relationship will go badly. When it does, you'll be in a better place and the situation will be reversed. Allow karma to work out without you damaging your own self esteem. Because if you reduce yourself to his level, then you're no better than he is.

This.
You already know what is going to happen with the two of them once you are gone. If it were me, when it crashes and burns with them, I would not take her back, I would not accept her phone calls, letters, emails or meet her or have any contact ever again. Get yourself back on track and do what is best for you and stay away from self destructive people like them that suck the life and blood out of you.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 21

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 7:06:30 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantMan
what would you do, if it was you in my shoes?

Move to another city.

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 22

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 7:45:15 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantMan

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantMan

So, like another Odysseus, I am standing between Scylla and Charybdis. Revenge will satisfy me, and then I will most likely spend God knows how many years regretting it... and, swallowing my pride and walking out, will have me accept defeat to a man I see as inferior, and will damage my already wounded ego.
I already decided that I'm going to at least rip the computer's Hard Drive and take it with me... I'm not compromising half a Terrabyte of music, plus all my personal details, to anyone, especially these two people. I'd get the computer as a whole, but, until I get a proper place to live, carrying out heavy luggage is not an option.

A question:
IF she was "only a roommate" then why are you feeling like you have been defeated by a man you see as inferior?

You were best friends.

Your best friend has made a piss-poor choice in a partner and sadly you are being forced to leave your living situation.

I do understand feeling betrayed, but defeated?
That implies you had other feelings for her.

I paid his damned overdue bills... bought and delivered them food directly to his apartment, I even went as far as giving up my own food...
Yes, I feel defeated, because I was being used, until I dried out and became useless.
As for the feelings...
I made her first CM profile, about 5 years ago, as well as her first Alt.com profile back in 2001. I was giving her date tips, and I even acted as a scarecrow to harrassing people, while I kept her appontments in order, when I had free time. If I had other feelings, I'd not be doing any of that, ever, nor would she be keeping my appointments in order for my own local ads.

Why did you pay his overdue bills?

That was a choice you made.

That is not something you can go back and punish her for... .

I understand why you feel like she threw you under a bus.
At worst, you are right and she conned you.

At best, she meant it when she said don't move, and then decided to go back to him.

It doesn't change the fact that you feel hurt.
Feeling victimised?
That is in part your choice.
You made choices and now you feel as though they victimised you.
Does that really make you feel better?

I am offering you another scenario in which she did not victimise you.
It is equally plausible and in line with human nature.

So, you don't put yourself in a position to be hurt like that again by not making choices such as paying his bills.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 23

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 8:01:42 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

if it was me?

I'd simply leave..no words said to anyone, no notice, no sabotage, nothing...just walk out with my clothing and belongings and that's it.

From what I read of your op you sound like you have some anger issues you need to resolve. After moving out and getting back on your feet you may want to consider some therapy or counseling of some sort.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 24

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 8:18:40 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantMan

I am seriously considering sabotaging the place... not to hurt them, or kill them. But, having an electronics degree, I have thought about getting my vengeance, by killing his favourite PS3 unit, and frying the washing machines the night before I leave.
It may sound cheap, or awful of me... but what would you do, if it was you in my shoes?

Being taken advantage of sucks, no doubt, but you're certainly not doing yourself any favors here. Suck it up and move on. Discussing the illegal acts you plan to commit for revenge isn't exactly the brightest thing you could have done especially since she has/had an account here. It's this kind of thing that turns lack of probable cause to a conviction.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 25

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 8:21:43 AM

imber67

Posts: 8
Joined: 10/12/2009
Status: offline

I simply think He is just blowing off steam.

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 26

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 8:29:27 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

her parents took yous in- and you plan to sabotage the parents house?

Leave the parents out of this! I think it will be bad karma.

(in reply to imber67)

Post #: 27

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 8:36:06 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

"But you have a responsibility here, and that is to honor the one in your shoes."

You are right, but that means different things to different people.

Fair is fair. I think it's wrong to just let people take advantage of others unscathed. The best person to scathe them it the one who was taken advantage of, Share the wealth ? Share the poverty.

The world just won't work right unless what goes around comes around. The problem is letting anger cloud your judgement and going too far. This is a financial thing, and as someone who likes revenge I can say this. Make it fit. You don't cut someone's legs off for stealing your Xbox. You don't burn them out for breaking your window.

It is too easy in the heat of anger to go too far, and that's a good reason for the advice not to seek revenge. You can't take it back. Half the time you can't even let them know where it came from. It really is best to refrain, but that is not always the right thing to do.

I had a friend in middle school. At one time we were practically inseperable. He screwed me twice, and I told him next time was the last time, but he did it again. Fast forward about fifteen years. About a year ago I hear from another that he is practically begging to see me again. I said "I decline". This after a few years ago at a wedding party I saw him and we talked. Toward the end of the discussion he said "I'll call you" to which I replied "No you won't". The silence was deafening. I mean half the party just shut up and looked at me. I looked back with that "so what" look on my face. I caused no harm, I didn't cost the mark anything, not a dime.

Holly, this is not so much directed at you. I relayed the story because maybe it can help give some direction. Revenge is best served cold, and it usually costs less that way. Patience, as they screw people over, and over, and over, then they run out of people and they can't call good ole __________ anymore. What a shame.

There is alot more weaponry out there than guns, knives, screwdrivers, bowling balls, hammers, whatever. And it's not prosecutable.

T^T

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 28

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 10:00:59 AM

SternSkipper

Posts: 7546
Joined: 3/7/2004
Status: offline

quote:

It may sound cheap, or awful of me... but what would you do, if it was you in my shoes?

my Friend... Just walk away cleanly. Fuck their whole sordid deal. YOU are way better than that. And yeah, right now being able to briefly savor something might be a nice narcotic. But the drug of it wears off and won't last you.
However, doing what is basically the right thing to do, to wit, getting yourself out of their reach. That's what the important important prize in all of this will come out of this with. I get a sense you already have the armor on at this point. So instead of using that protection to turn back into the fight, use it to walk out, with your head up.

I hope this all works out for you. I know from what you have to say here you deserve better than this.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 29

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 10:36:14 AM

DeviantMan

Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline

OK... steam blown, etcetera... I had to get offline for a few hours, and I do need to answer several questions, since I brought you into my mess...
first, why did I pay his bills... I didn't pay his bills willingly, or knowingly, at the time I did... Even if I was certain that this was where the money I shared went, I had no proof, until very later... a friend whom you share a house with, asks you for your help... you'd be a JERK to not help, regardless what you thought.
second... her parents have died... her mother at 2002, her father at 2006... I was there, both times, nursing them at the hospital. I did say "old parents house"
third... well, the third would need me to unfold the entire period, from September and forward, and I'd need more than a few pages of forum threads for that.

Said that, there is no doubt I have a major responsibility for letting things end this way.
And, to answer on whether I was conned, or not... I was conned. No doubt about it. Unless I was living with a split personality, that failed to shift for a decade and a half, I saw a very experienced liar, for the 3 weeks period between their "breaking up" and "going back together". During which period, she changed her cellphone number 3 times... and gave him the number each time...

Every single incident, can, and probably does, look irrelevant, but, I eventually linked them together, and the big picture, after this morning's events, got me over the edge.

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?

(in reply to SternSkipper)

Post #: 30

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 10:40:27 AM

DeviantMan

Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Can you afford a small storage unit to put all your things in? Would a friend let you store your computer at his house till you get a new place? Take all your things elsewhere. Including everything you bought to replace the stuff she took to his place.

She's been your friend for years on end, she is involved with a con and it's obvious her relationship will go badly. When it does, you'll be in a better place and the situation will be reversed. Allow karma to work out without you damaging your own self esteem. Because if you reduce yourself to his level, then you're no better than he is.

This.
You already know what is going to happen with the two of them once you are gone. If it were me, when it crashes and burns with them, I would not take her back, I would not accept her phone calls, letters, emails or meet her or have any contact ever again. Get yourself back on track and do what is best for you and stay away from self destructive people like them that suck the life and blood out of you.

Oh, yes... this I am certain of. Like I said, there is a multitude of puzzle pieces I can't possibly put here for everyone to see... not for any reason, other than flooding a thread with gigantic posts.

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 31

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 10:59:33 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

Your call. I don't recommend anything nasty. More like a BIG FUCKING ANNOYANCE.

Really, they are right. Revenge is not one of the basic four food groups. You don't have to do anything. Really. Just get the fuck out and make your life what you want it to be.

T^T

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 32

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 11:17:36 AM

DeviantMan

Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline

To be perfectly honest, I was hoping you guys would do what you did. It was one of those "Nudge me into the right direction" kind of shouts. I really went close to actually grabbing my screwdrivers and turn the voltage seletors in all appliances, and then just dash out.
I need to thank you all for this

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?

(in reply to Termyn8or)

Post #: 33

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 11:29:59 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

We have to keep fellow kinksters out of trouble of course. Now that )hopefully) you have cooled down, just how much money did the fuck you out of ? Forget the personal. Follow the money.

Really, it's not worth it for a few hundred bucks.

Now me, I am hopeless. But that's a different story. Don't pollute your self.

T^T

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 34

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 11:38:07 AM

DeviantMan

Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline

hahahaha... it is approximately, 700 euros... about US$ 1000.
Or, for the average Greece salary levels, an average monthly paycheck

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?

(in reply to Termyn8or)

Post #: 35

RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 1:33:51 PM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

Buddy o mine, I don't hang with him because he's a bit too weird. (and that's saying something coming from me) He got ripped off by a former employee. Took the safe. Well it contained about a month's profit in cash, and this guy wanted to find the fucker. So he spends over a week just running down leads and all this shit and finally he thinks he knows where they are. Well it didn't happen for a couple of reasons. But the time this guy wasted finding the perp almost cost him half of whatr he got ripped off ! He owns a brick/construction type outfit. The season was on.

I've loaned out thousands and not got it back. There is no sense in making a big stink about it. What, shoot them ? That won't get you your money. Save the nasties for that which is deserving. I save it up for people who hurt my family or chosen family. Financial doesn't count as much. It takes ALOT of financial to equal a real hurt. It happens, but not on a month's pay.

The important part here is for YOU to say fuck it of your own volition. Not because of fear of retaliation or law enforcement, or possible failure. Not because of what people will think or any other reason than for you to put it in perspective. And when you let it slide, voluntarily, it is behind you. People get so trussed up in anger sometimes that when they finally do let go, they damnear feel like they can fly.

T^T

(in reply to DeviantMan)

Post #: 36

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