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Arpig -> RE: Relative mail volumes: Gay vs. Straight (6/8/2011 2:54:01 PM)
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You know, I looked at my profile, and you're right. I didn't have the "seeking women" boxes checked. I must've gotten frustrated with the latest batch of scammers started messaging me. However, for most of the 3+ years I've had an active profile here, I've been seeking women equally, if not exclusively. I even had the stupid little boxes checked. Fair enough, in that case your input is indeed relevant. I apologize, but it's a little much to expect me to know what check boxes you had checked over the last three years when you don't even know which ones you have checked right now, n'est ce pas? After all...Damn it Jim, I'm a pervert not a clairvoyant!
Yes I did lead in with the word "non-hetero", but I did specify in the actual questions that I was dealing with:
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male/male relationships,
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female/female relationships?
Thus, by those standards, the responses of anybody seeking anything other than those two types of relationship is extraneous. Surely you can agree with this, and that at the time of your reply you appeared to fall into that category.
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Protip: Bisexual-identified people answering questions about "non-hetero" messaging patterns isn't heterosexist. However, a bisexual-identified person seeking a hetero relationship answering a question about people seeking a non-hetero relationship is. And remember, you were, at the time, presenting yourself as just such a person.
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A straight man telling a queer woman that she is "the same as a straight Domme" because she sometimes peruses men is pretty damn heterosexist, though. I agree wholeheartedly, however, that doesn't apply to this situation for the following reasons.
> 1. I didn't say that you were the same as a straight Domme, I said that for the purposes of my question your in-box was the same as a straight Domme's in-box. Not the same thing at all.
>2. I, like you have, slightly misrepresented my self in my profile. You see, I am bi-sexual, but have never been seeking a relationship with a man on CM. I got tired of getting unsolicited messages from sub men pestering me (the buggers really can be persistent at times, can't they?) despite my only having the women box checked off. So like you, I made a change, in my case, there was no check box to uncheck, the only step to take was to change bisexual to straight, and since my bisexuality has no bearing on the type of relationship I am seeking at this time, this did not strike me as all that out of line.
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You may just have been extremely unclear with what you wanted in your original question, but an appropriate response would have been to clarify what you were seeking, not to chastise everyone who didn't read your mind. I don't think I was unclear at all about my question. What I think happened is that you answered appropriately without realizing that your profile would lead me to believe otherwise. And I took the profile at face value and discounted your reply, not knowing it was indeed valid.
I replied in a pissy manner, you replied to me in a pissy manner...
I apologize again for my part in this misunderstanding. Now since we're done being pissy with each other, why don't we both change into fresh dry underwear and try to get along from here on out?
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