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RE: To cum or not to cum? - 6/7/2011 8:37:56 AM   
juliaoceania


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I found when I was denied orgasms it made it harder for me to have one when allowed... other people may have a different experience

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RE: To cum or not to cum? - 6/7/2011 8:50:51 AM   
GreedyTop


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I found when I was denied orgasms it made it harder for me to have one when allowed...




yep, me too. 

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RE: To cum or not to cum? - 6/7/2011 1:22:50 PM   
PdxJ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I found when I was denied orgasms it made it harder for me to have one when allowed... other people may have a different experience


I've found that to be the case with nearly every woman I have tried orgasm denial with.
There is a fine line between denying and - oops, ya went to far. . . . end of game.

A woman's system simply refuses to once it has been taunted or denied to often or for to long.


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RE: To cum or not to cum? - 6/7/2011 2:56:50 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PdxJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I found when I was denied orgasms it made it harder for me to have one when allowed... other people may have a different experience


I've found that to be the case with nearly every woman I have tried orgasm denial with.
There is a fine line between denying and - oops, ya went to far. . . . end of game.

A woman's system simply refuses to once it has been taunted or denied to often or for to long.



I have read some on this topic before I underwent this training. What I read about it was nothing like the reality. I think men sometimes think that female sexuality is the same as male, and that just isn't so. My mind formed a block against frustration, and I wasn't trying to form that block, it just happened... and it happened very quickly.

It was in my first D/s dynamic, and I felt like a failure for being unable to perform on command like he thought I should be able to. In my second dynamic he understood that denial wasn't productive, and went for the prolonging instead.... much more productive.


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RE: To cum or not to cum? - 6/7/2011 3:58:27 PM   
Acephale


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Uh oh. Does that mean I've got to change my Araki photo? It's hardly an optical assault.

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RE: To cum or not to cum? - 6/7/2011 4:07:36 PM   
Lucylastic


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For me, the saying
"when you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow" is true
when you say
"When you have them by the clit, their hearts and minds will follow" is utter crap
For me an attempt to deny my orgasm would result in never seeing me again and a thick lip for the denier.
just my 2cents


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RE: To cum or not to cum? - 6/7/2011 4:44:54 PM   
Acephale


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I believe that women go unconscious when they climax. More of our brain turns off in order to feel that sensation. The average woman may have a harder time climaxing. I can't say that to be true of every woman, but I know it to be true for me and many women I know. To deny a female sub an orgasam for a long period of time seems like cruel and unusual punishment. You should be getting her to beg for it, not to suppress all sexual urges.

On the other hand a man does not go fully go unconscious when orgasaming. The theory is that when early man would indulge in sexual intercourse one member would have to be conscious in case of danger. If man was the hunter, then it is logical that he would also be the one who would remain conscious. It may very well be that men who ejaculate quickly actually had an evolutionary advantage because they would remain unfocused for a less period of time. We've come a long from then, so whats my point? Oh yes, to let your parter evolve by suppressing the urges of one sex and exacerbating the urges of the other.

I suggest that the OP do what he's always done. It's not all about sex, I'm sure that his partner gets his kicks in other ways. If he doesn't then maybe it's not the best match.

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RE: To cum or not to cum? - 6/7/2011 9:31:57 PM   
windchymes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Acephale

On the other hand a man does not go fully go unconscious when orgasaming. The theory is that when early man would indulge in sexual intercourse one member would have to be conscious in case of danger. If man was the hunter, then it is logical that he would also be the one who would remain conscious.



......until after he's orgasmed, anyway.

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RE: To cum or not to cum? - 6/10/2011 3:02:46 PM   
richfrist


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Orgasm denial for me is a mental thing.   I once had an experience with a lady who told me not to orgasm unless I was in her company.  We thought about using a chastity belt , but just didn't have one.   Many times we would meet, and make out but would not have release, or I would service her to release leaving me with a case of blue-balls (yes they are real).   The thought that she had ordered me not to orgasm, was very mentally stimulating and made me think about her most of the day.   It also made the final release that much more exhilarating for the both of us. 

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RE: To cum or not to cum? - 6/11/2011 5:46:23 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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i don't really get any sort of terrible anguish at not being able to orgasm. i think that's something mostly associated with male parts, but maybe i'm wrong.
however, what i do get, after a long time of being teased and left, is that i lose the desire for any of it, or the desire for the person, or a combination of the two.
though i dunno, i guess if i was in a relationship where denial was the goal? it might be different if i could view it as a service thing -- this is what he enjoys so i'll go along with it. i dunno. i've never been in a relationship where denial was an explicit goal. i've been with people who would get to a point and stop or just fiddle around with no seriousness and at first it's tiring, and then it gets kinda boring.


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