Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Help on improving a profile


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Help on improving a profile Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 9:11:51 AM   
PunyPatrick


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/28/2010
Status: offline 		Hello, I have been on collarme for a little bit of time and have not had any luck receiving replies to my email messages, getting them to look at my profile, or looking at the profile but not responding. I was wondering if my profile is turning some people off, or the pictures that I have posted is not what people are looking for. Any help would be greatly appreciated.



Patrick
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 9:33:26 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I can only venture a guess, your profile is well written and seems to be quite honest, but maybe the fact that you haven't participated might turn people off, because they think if they get involved with you and then you realize that it's not to your liking, they might end up with hurt feelings. As I said, just a guess and I could be wrong.

Also women here don't really contact guys a lot, most of us get enough mails into our inboxes, maybe you should start to look at profiles in your region and approach them, or even better, meet people where you are.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to PunyPatrick)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 9:34:28 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		One thing you should know.  You're going to get various answers here because different people look for different things when reading profiles.  What appeals to Me in a profile might be something that other people don't want.

The pics - keep them.  You get bonus points for not only having clothes on (YAY) but extra credit for not chopping your head off in the photos.  You might want to add others in a different outfit at some time, but it's not a pressing issue.

Part of the problem with your profile is that you come off like a one trick pony.  Even the screen name suggests that you are focused on small penis humiliation.  While I only quickly scanned your text, it's in there, too.  There's more about the incident in high school that led you to this than what you are doing today. 

Another part of the problem is that you are thirty-four and have been "waiting" your whole life.  Why?  You're in a decent sized city and not far out from some of the large events that are held in the country.  What are you doing to meet people?  If you thought that creating a profile on the net was going to make Dominant women flock to you, trust Me, that's not how it goes.  If you are going to lack experience, you might want to think about what you are willing to do to get that experience.  Most of the females that I know aren't looking for someone who is only willing to sit behind the computer.

In My opinion, you do need a rewrite.  You also need to go out.  Had you not specifically asked Me to read the profile, I'd have not bothered past the third paragraph.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to PunyPatrick)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 9:35:24 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Your main photo is very nice.  You can never go wrong with a nice suit.  Before we give you further reviews, have you read and followed the suggestions here? 

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057123/tm.htm

Those will help you get started.  After you've done that, come back and it will be much easier to help you fine tune your profile.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to PunyPatrick)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 10:21:44 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PunyPatrick

Hello, I have been on collarme for a little bit of time and have not had any luck receiving replies to my email messages, getting them to look at my profile, or looking at the profile but not responding.



Patrick,
Welcome to being a guy on CollarMe. 

I know that you posted your question in "Ask a Mistress", but I'll offer you some advice anyway.  Like you, I'm a male sub.  And like you, I'm not in a D/s relationship right now.  The difference is that I've probably been at this a bit longer than you. I've been openly involved in BDSM for almost 20 years. 

Frankly, I'm not looking for a partner right now, so I don't contact many Dommes.  But when I did, I'll bet over 90% of my messages went unanswered.  Maybe even 95%.  I think most male subs will tell you that they've had similar results. In fact, there are plenty who will tell you that almost 100% of their messages go unanswered.  So don't be discouraged by that.  As bad as it sounds, what you've experienced is actually pretty normal around here.

So what should you do?  I'd suggest a few things.  Firstly, and most importantly, get off of the computer and go to a munch in your local area.  I haven't looked at your profile, so I don't know where you are.  But I'm sure there is a group within driving distance of you.  You'll find that it's infinitely easier to meet people face-to-face than it is on-line. Moreover, women aren't likely to completely ignore you in real life the way they do on-line.

Secondly, remember that there are far more male subs than there are female Dommes.  So you have to really do something to separate yourself from the pack and make the women take notice.  You can't just send a simple e-mail message saying "Hi.  I like your profile."  That's gonna get deleted.  Instead, you have to add some humor or personality to your message so it stands out from the crowd and gets her attention.  Remember that your message is competing against the 100 other messages that she's received from male subs.  Because women receive so many messages, they don't even have to browse our profiles.  So don't be offended by the fact that not many Dommes look at your profile.

It's analogous to women in a bar or nightclub.  Why should they bother approaching guys when there are plenty of guys approaching them and buying them drinks?

I've actually had relationships with people that I've met on Alt.com, CollarMe, and Fetlife.  So it can be done.   Just keep trying, and eventually you'll meet someone who is a good match.  But once again, your odds will be greatly improved if you go to a munch.

Good luck in your search.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 6/7/2011 10:22:29 AM >

(in reply to PunyPatrick)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 12:30:09 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline 		I think you're profile is lovely.
Keep searching, and contacting people whose profiles you've read, and find that you might like to meet.
Other than that, check out the social scene where you are, befriend people, and you'll likely get experiences you may find to be fun.
Good luck, M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to PunyPatrick)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 1:57:37 PM   
PunyPatrick


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/28/2010
Status: offline 		I just wanted to thank everyone who responded, I appreciate all of the comments and helpful hints. I appreciate the link on how to attract a dominant woman, there is a lot of good information on it.

I guess I could add in my profile that the reason I waited was because I joined the Navy out of high school and was on a ship with a community computer and did not feel comfortable looking at or exploring my interests. Even after the Navy I tried to date vanilla girls and it wasn’t until I started being honest with myself and try to find out what would actually make me happy instead of just playing a role that I thought everyone wanted me to play.

I have applied for membership at clubdomva and I am hoping to start getting into the local community.

Patrick

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 2:05:54 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		A little off topic, but... while I agree with what RochSub said, those number hold pretty well for male Doms contacting femsubs as well. IMO it's the gender, not the kneel, that's responsible for mailbox floods.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to PunyPatrick)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 2:48:21 PM   
Evolvingmistress


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/20/2011
Status: offline 		PunyPatrick  have you had any luck yet-- Comment so very true DarkSteven


< Message edited by Evolvingmistress -- 6/7/2011 2:54:50 PM >

_____________________________

Evolving Mistress

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 3:44:18 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Oh my gosh... I think you're cute as a button... and you live in an area where you can go to a meeting, munch or workshop at least once a week, not to mention probably a play party of some sort each weekend if you want. GET OUT... and I'd suggest trying fetlife.. there are so many groups there that have info on stuff going on in our area... the DC and Baltimore area are crawling with kinky people.

Good luck!

and as Lady Pact said, different people key in on different things.. I hate to say it, but you're name would put me off immediately...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to PunyPatrick)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 6:14:42 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

I hate to say it, but you're name would put me off immediately...


I would have rejected you immediately because of the screename. My experience on here has been that men who choose to name themselves after their kink are slaves to the kink, not to the woman providing it. You seem like a decent guy but I never would have found that out. Consider starting over with a new profile...only way to change the name. When all you are is a name in an inbox, the name representing you is pretty important and it's your first impression...just sayin.

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 9:07:55 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

while I agree with what RochSub said, those number hold pretty well for male Doms contacting femsubs as well. IMO it's the gender, not the kneel, that's responsible for mailbox floods.


Thanks for sharing that, DS.  Since I never contact female subs, I actually didn't know that.  In fact, I figured that you male doms were wading through tons of messages just like the female dommes are.

Ron must be hoarding all the female subs. 

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 9:17:54 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I am one of the few female doms who writes to mens, I guess! Or at least I used to.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/7/2011 9:58:01 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline 		I too write to menz on very rare occasions... Usually, someone whose post I liked, or profile I wanted to compliment. What happens thereafter, does largely have to do with his "I want to chase her instinct," or how nice, "I'll sit back and wait," position. M

< Message edited by SexyBossyBBW -- 6/7/2011 10:00:19 PM >

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/8/2011 11:17:27 PM   
socio


Posts: 13
Joined: 4/25/2011
Status: offline 		If I may side track things for a moment do we have a specific profile help thread anymore or not? The profile help thread was closed by a mod  (http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057123/mpage_4/tm.htm)

Sorry to sidetrack things but with so many profile help threads it's a bit difficult to understand which is the appropriate place to go /shy

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/9/2011 1:23:28 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: socio

If I may side track things for a moment do we have a specific profile help thread anymore or not? The profile help thread was closed by a mod  (http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057123/mpage_4/tm.htm)

Sorry to sidetrack things but with so many profile help threads it's a bit difficult to understand which is the appropriate place to go /shy



http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057123/tm.htm

I'd say the thread contains a lot of information and reading it can possibly answer most of the questions

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to socio)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Help on improving a profile - 6/9/2011 3:21:28 PM   
PunyPatrick


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/28/2010
Status: offline 		I just wanted to thank everyone for thier input. I have updated my profile and hope I made it better.


Patrick

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 17
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Help on improving a profile Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141