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aromanholiday -> RE: He threw off my groove ... what now? (6/10/2011 9:15:50 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Asherscorp1
My question is primarily for those in a 24/7 relationship but of course anyone's thoughts are welcomed. There are certain expectations in being someone's "pet" "slave" "sub" all day every day and of course I know the majority of the time we sub/slaves meet these happily, even feeling very privileged to do so. What about those times you just don't enjoy it? Say your plans, activity, mind-set whatever is completely disrupted to obey a command from, or fill a desire of, your Master? If it leaves you feeling, frustrated, sulky, unhappy, irritable, etc how do you channel that and get on with your day? Do you swallow it, do you discuss it, do you let it run it's course and ignore it in the mean time? What's your experience?
I really don't know if the following advice is relevant to your situation or if you are even describing a personal situation. "24/7" doesn't describe the nature of a relationship except to suggest it's live-in and using all of the adjectives (pet, slave, sub) confuses the issue more, but here's what I'd do if, specifically, I was a slave (this advice does not apply to pets or subs or daddy's girls; those relationships work under very different assumptions and rules and require different advice, which I cannot give):
First, beg your master for help with this. This is a matter of discipline, and I don't think any slave can discipline themselves entirely on their own, in a vacuum.
Try to avoid getting into grooves in the first place that don't benefit your master directly. If you find yourself entering into a lot of strong personal interests and activities, it could mean your master isn't keeping you busy enough in his service and you are getting restless and bored. Instead of working on a project of your own (unless you must, for money for him) ask him for something to do, or do things he's ordered you to do in the past that have become backlogged.
Ok, so you got into a groove (that's a very good word for this sort of thing, by the way, I think of it in terms of a rut or a stuck record, not in terms of "groovy.") and when ordered to do something, you feel the negative emotions you've described above. When you hear the order, try at that moment to remember how it felt to be unowned, free, when you could follow your own grooves to your heart's consent and nobody interfered. Pleasant, wasn't it? (that's sarcasm, of course). The point is to remember how wonderful it is to be controlled and to have someone giving you orders. Recapture the joy of serving you felt when you first entered the arrangement, when every order was a pleasure to obey, because they came from him.
Or, feel a perverse delight in having your will thwarted. I'm not sure what you meant by 24/7 but for most of us who crave slavery, it's fun to be controlled, fun to have our wills and desires frustrated, fun to just mindlessly drop whatever "important" thing we were doing and just obey. Try to recapture that sense of fun, that sense of delight in being controlled and not getting your way, but knowing he's getting His way.
The feelings you describe at having to break off something you are doing (frustrated, sulky, unhappy, irritable) are warning signs that you do not feel the reality of your ownership strongly enough and that the arch-enemy of all slaves, your ego, is getting in your way, making your business more important than his. If you are describing your own personal situation, then your words suggest you are acutely aware of this, that you are putting your own desires before your master's and regarding your own interests as more important, when in truth his are the only ones that count, when you are enslaved. Try to recapture the joy that is natural for a slave to feel when given something to do by the man she adores. Or try to recapture how pleasant it is to just mindlessly obey without thinking about yourself or your personal goals, just serve without thinking about it, with alacrity, happy to be of use, content with what you are given. Again, your master can help you immensely with this process if he desires it for you.
It's easy to say these things, much harder to do them. Honestly, you can't do this all on your own. Your master has to be willing or desirous of making your more obedient. But maybe he is happy with you at the level you are at now. Maybe he doesn't mind that you sometimes feel these negative emotions when yanked away from personal business. If that is the case, and if you crave more control, then you may be in a difficult spot. All one can do in this situation (when I was there I did this) is obey your master to the best of your ability and try to be the type of servant he wants you to be at exactly the level he wants you to be at. Some dominants give their submissives a great deal of freedom. That can be galling if you crave to live under more of an iron thumb. I'm not sure what can be done in that situation besides trying to make the best of it and to absorb his ideals and values of your service into yourself so that you see them as being right and of the utmost importance, even if such goals involve a lot of self-absorption or hedonistic indulgence on your part.
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