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Newish to the scene; advice needed - 6/8/2011 9:46:53 PM

kmsprouse

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Joined: 5/6/2011
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I am really into bdsm and newish to it all. Any advice on the best way to meet people? Im kind of shy and a bit nervous about going to a local group.

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RE: Newish to the scene; advice needed - 6/8/2011 9:59:16 PM

pwnerandpwned

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Joined: 4/13/2010
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With the assumption you mean physically meeting people, off the top of my head, I can think of three ways to do that.

- Attend local group
- Meet someone online who is near enough by, that after chatting, you can meet (and maybe be introduced to other BDSMers in the area if they know some).
- Visit a convention and find local or non-local people there.

Ya...ermm...wish I had magical advice, but I suffer from the same problem of not being all that into the idea of hitting up local munches. :)

Best of luck!

(in reply to kmsprouse)

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RE: Newish to the scene; advice needed - 6/8/2011 10:16:07 PM

peppermint

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From: Montana
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Many groups have a leader or at least an email where you can contact someone. Write them and explain that you are rather shy. I know we will meet with someone several days before a munch at a public restaurant so that the new person gets to know us and hopefully feel better about attending munch. It's less intimidating to meet a couple people than it is to meet a whole group. I know how you feel. I was the same way with my first munch. I was able to meet ahead of time with a couple people who attended munch so that when I did go I felt I had friends there.

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RE: Newish to the scene; advice needed - 6/9/2011 6:40:13 AM

ranja

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Joined: 11/1/2007
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bite the bullet, put something nice on, do your hair and get on with it

i think it is best to take up some dance classes, it does wonders for your self esteem... modern jive is just GREAT

good luck

< Message edited by ranja -- 6/9/2011 6:41:10 AM >

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RE: Newish to the scene; advice needed - 6/10/2011 7:21:05 AM

analyticalmaster

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Here is a link to your the organizations in your local area http://www.evilmonk.org/a/tx_hou.cfm#groups
The only way to do it, is to get out and meet people. Munches are vanilla settings where you can just sit and talk. Yes the first time or two you will feel awkward and out of place, normal for everyone. By the third time you go will be at home with lots of different people. Trust me there are many who will be willing to show you the ropes so to speak.

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RE: Newish to the scene; advice needed - 6/11/2011 9:44:52 AM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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If, like peppermint suggested, you contact the munch leaders ahead of time, you won't feel awkward when you go. They almost always will take you under their wing and if they don't, they'll have someone who will volunteer to do so. You won't be left alone while everyone else talks or struggle with turning someone down who won't take no for an answer. They'll help you do all that and keep an eye on you.

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RE: Newish to the scene; advice needed - 6/11/2011 7:04:42 PM

AcademyForSlaves

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Joined: 2/24/2006
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Hello,

An alternative to meeting in a group or club setting would be to place an ad in a bdsm kink magazine either by mail or online and meeting lifestylers one on one. Just be careful. Meet in a public place and tell someone you trust who you are meeting with. Get their email address and/or phone number before meeting them if possible. Always think safety first. We hold our own parties for Mistresses and slaves but we all know each other and have trained and own the slaves so it is always safe and fun for everyone who attends.

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