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What is it....? - 6/10/2011 7:39:21 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		Simple question, Ladies.....

What makes you dominant?

I think it's so easy to get caught up in defining labels and assigning certain acts and positions a place in those definitions that sometimes folks can lose sight of the basics.

So...what are your basics?

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 6/10/2011 7:40:28 AM >
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RE: What is it....? - 6/10/2011 7:55:54 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I see it as a personality (I hesitate to use the word "character") trait. It's not tied to actions, or kink, or whether I own anyone. I am a person who needs responsibility in order to thrive. I can't wait for someone to make a decision for me--and I don't enjoy it when they do! I prefer to be the one that makes the plan and sees it through. Life is good when I'm in control.

(Apologies for ghastly grammar...)

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RE: What is it....? - 6/10/2011 10:50:43 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		I agree with Hibbie.  There isn't one or even a few specific things that make me dominant.  I just *am*.  It's an intrinsic part of my personality that never goes away.  I would rather be the "lone wolf" than follow an ineffectual authority figure and I won't follow a "leader" unless s/he can prove his/her system works.  Very few people can do that to my satisfaction.  I'm much happier when I can design my own life. 

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RE: What is it....? - 6/10/2011 2:53:53 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		I see it as an orientation.

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RE: What is it....? - 6/10/2011 5:28:40 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Here is my experience. This actually happened in Florida. Some folks on the board may even remember it.

We were going out to dinner and we were wondering if the restaurant was closed because it was late at night. The submissive types were all "well, what will we do?" and the domly types were all "Here's what we'll do."

Now, I'm not saying that this is the end all and be all of domination or anything like that. However, as you can tell, the experience made an impression on me.

To me (and yes, I'm speaking ONLY for me).... dominant types are decision makers. No, I'm not saying subly types aren't... I"m saying that in my mind this is where the rubber hits the road.

(and of course YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY when the rubber hits the road).
best,
sunshine

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RE: What is it....? - 6/10/2011 6:28:33 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Yeah, I was there! But I wasn't one of theones with a car--the true leaders!

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RE: What is it....? - 6/11/2011 2:14:21 PM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Here is my experience. This actually happened in Florida. Some folks on the board may even remember it.

We were going out to dinner and we were wondering if the restaurant was closed because it was late at night. The submissive types were all "well, what will we do?" and the domly types were all "Here's what we'll do."

Now, I'm not saying that this is the end all and be all of domination or anything like that. However, as you can tell, the experience made an impression on me.

To me (and yes, I'm speaking ONLY for me).... dominant types are decision makers. No, I'm not saying subly types aren't... I"m saying that in my mind this is where the rubber hits the road.

(and of course YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY when the rubber hits the road).


My mileage doesn't vary too much from yours, for what it's worth. I'm submissive, and I'm very much a "well, what will we do?" kind of person in group situations. I'm quite capable of having ideas and putting them forward, but I almost always phrase them as suggestions for the group to consider. When I'm with other people who are equally unwilling to take the reins, I often go ahead and start making decisions just because someone has to, but I rarely feel totally comfortable in that role.

At the same time, though, I don't like being casually ordered around by anyone except my girlfriend. With other people I strongly prefer consultative, reasonably egalitarian decision-making. I'm happy to have them take the lead, but I want to be listened to and have my opinions taken into account.

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RE: What is it....? - 6/11/2011 6:43:04 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hello,

Every man who has ever met Me always naturally ends up calling Me "Boss", "Master", "Queen", etc. They soon realize that I am a natural dominant. I do not have to role-play or get into a dominant role. I simply be Myself. I like considerate unselfish men who like to serve and please Me. I am kind, nurturing, and softspoken. I can play a strict mean role if I feel like it but I rarely need to. I am like a strict but loving and caring Queen. My slaves love the way I am and men are drawn to Me because of My kind nature. Dominance does not have to involve anger, violence, pain, etc. I rule with love.

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RE: What is it....? - 6/11/2011 7:51:17 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline 		fuck you syl

hannah lynn



ooops, did i forget to type "i want to" at the beginning of that

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RE: What is it....? - 6/11/2011 7:54:16 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline
quote:

Every man who has ever met Me always naturally ends up calling Me "Boss", "Master", "Queen", etc.
every man eh?

and i'm the fucking queen of england.

hannah lynn

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: What is it....? - 6/11/2011 7:56:19 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

Simple question, Ladies.....

What makes you dominant?

I think it's so easy to get caught up in defining labels and assigning certain acts and positions a place in those definitions that sometimes folks can lose sight of the basics.

So...what are your basics?


Nothing 'makes me' that way. I just AM. It is my personality. I don't try to be, I don't play a role. I usually don't even think about being.

Sunny's story made me smile. I am always thinking ahead, as soon as the least sign of problem I am looking for a plan B, maybe even C and D.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: What is it....? - 6/11/2011 7:59:17 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline 		i don't know. submissive women bring it out in me, just as dominant women bring out the submissiveness in me. outside of relationships i'm just in charge of me. i don't take shit from anybody and do what i fucking well want to. if that makes me dominant, then its just the way i turned out. the life i've lived has pretty much given me no other choice. when you are on your own its really hard to count on anybody else.

hannah lynn

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
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RE: What is it....? - 6/11/2011 8:27:30 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

fuck you syl

ooops, did i forget to type "i want to" at the beginning of that


Is this my cue to say something to the effect of "on your knees, bitch"?  Maybe I'll just turn you over my knee and give you a good paddling.

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Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: What is it....? - 6/11/2011 9:47:50 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Such a way with words, that hannah lynn.

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 6/11/2011 9:48:59 PM >

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: What is it....? - 6/11/2011 10:05:43 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I've been trying to figure out how to answer this thread.  What makes Me Dominant?  I honestly don't know.  The closest I ever come to an answer is a personality trait, but I don't really know if it's that simple.

I'm a later in life Domme, but I'm still the person today that used to bring home those report cards that said things like, "does well being in charge of others" or "displays leadership qualities".  I've never had a job where I wasn't put into some kind of position where I was training other employees or became the boss in one form or another.  People defer to Me even just in social situations.  It's just how things work for Me.

Sorry I didn't have some kind of deep answer on this one.


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RE: What is it....? - 6/11/2011 10:17:12 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

quote:

Every man who has ever met Me always naturally ends up calling Me "Boss", "Master", "Queen", etc.
every man eh?

and i'm the fucking queen of england.

hannah lynn


Liz, you are seriously looking gooooooooood!


(couldn't pass it up!)


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: What is it....? - 6/11/2011 10:43:12 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline
quote:

Sorry I didn't have some kind of deep answer on this one.
i felt that way too, but it really is fucking hard to verbalize isn't it. or even to conceptualize. it just is.

hannah lynn

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: What is it....? - 6/12/2011 4:39:36 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

quote:

Sorry I didn't have some kind of deep answer on this one.
i felt that way too, but it really is fucking hard to verbalize isn't it. or even to conceptualize. it just is.

hannah lynn


Funny thing is...I didn't expect anything deep.

All this talk lately about positions being all domly and what actions make a person an s-type or a d-type I guess just got to me.

I think LadyHibiscus said it best...

quote:


Life is good when I'm in control.


Sometimes, it's just that simple. Thanks, y'all, for sharing.

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RE: What is it....? - 6/12/2011 4:50:45 AM   
Charnegui


Posts: 1352
Joined: 5/1/2011
From: Puzzled
Status: offline 		In daily life I am in control, but with my Man I love to hand over the control-thing 

I can't answer to anyone else in the same way, just to him.
Can I call myself dominant now? Or are those things more complicated than that?

I'd vote for the second option. Everyone has his/hers own personality and how it grows is developed in how we are being raised.



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There's a difference between my personality and my attitude; My personality is who I ám, my attitude depends on who you are.

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