RE: What we learn from failure? (Full Version)

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becca333 -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/1/2006 1:14:19 AM)

I've learned that failing isn't the end.  Most of the things I spent years worrying about have now happened - and I survived them all.  I've learned that I can cope, and cope well, when disaster strikes.  I've learned that failing isn't utter misery and being flung into the outer darkness forever, it's just one more turn of the wheel.

And since I learned to accept all that, I don't have nearly so many failures - just life experiences that I can cope with.



moontearz -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/1/2006 9:17:10 PM)

CERCKL;

      what you said also made alot of sense to me. I beat things up till they are a bloody pulp way after it's time to move on.
               Thanks moontearz



zumala -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/1/2006 10:00:40 PM)

Well... this is timely.  Failure is an issue in my life right now.  I'll fill you all in...
 
Starbucks is apparently a fairly demanding company and doesn't hire just anyone.  I was pleased and proud to be deemed worthy of hire.  Unfortunately, I have a tendancy to doubt myself until I am SURE that I'm doing something correctly.  I ask questions repeatedly to reassure myself, so I'm a little slow to become independent.  Call it perfectionism, if you will.  Or fear of failure.  I also don't do well under social pressure (I'm introverted, ADD, and shy to boot) so retail isn't my prefered type of job.  But when you need money and that's all that's available, that's what you do.
 
Four days into training, the manager had a little sit-down with me.  Here is what he said.
                    *You are personable.  Your co-workers like you.
                    *You are very intelligent.  That's obvious.
                    *But your self-confidence is low.  You have the lowest learning curve that I've ever seen.  I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.
 
I accepted this with my best grace, and he said I was also very mature.  He was certain that once I'd fixed the self-confidence problem, I would succeed in whatever I chose to do next.
 
So... I failed.  Because I was afraid of failing.  I'm not really sure how to fix this.  You can't just all of a sudden go "HA!  Now I shall be fearless and clear-minded!"  It doesn't work that way.  How can I reverse a behavior that apparently began about 15 years ago?  What can I do so that my next job (which I will now begin searching frantically for because I still need money badly) doesn't go the way of Starbucks?  How can I not be so nervous that my mind freezes up and makes me look as dumb as a box of rocks?
 
zuma



Tikkiee -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/1/2006 10:03:25 PM)

quote:

What have you learned from failure? What do you think you should learn from failure?

Being so competitive, it's hard for me to admit failure at all. Being realistic, when I finally DO admit failure, I find that it gives me something to rework and try harder at the next time around.
My biggest fault is that I find it extremely hard to admit that I have failed at something, so when I do, I beat myself up over it. It's hard to let go of something, even when you know that it has you beat [&:]



Sinergy -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/2/2006 5:45:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika

You simply have to decide if you lay there and cry or get up and try again. 
 


When my firstborn was very young (2 or so) I would take her out bike riding.

I would put a helmet on her, kneebads on her, elbow pads on her, until she looked like the Michelin Man.

One day we were out and she crashed.  She screamed and cried and was all tense, understandably.  I made sure there was no obvious life threatening damage but never tried to stop her tirade.
She eventually got things under control and asked me to carry her bike home for her because she had had enough bike riding.

I said no.  I told her she had to ride it home.  In her blubbering tears she asked me "why?"  My answer was "You need to get back on that bike when you are ok, to prove to both yourself and the bike that you are the one who is strong."

A few minutes later, she continued her ride down to her friend's house.

Frodo "I wish the ring had never come to me, Gandalf."
Gandalf "So do all who live in such times, but that is not for them to decide.  All we can decide is what to do with the time we have been given."

I agree with that.  A person is defined, in my mind, by what they do with their circumstances, not by the circumstances they are in.

Of course, that is just me, and I could be wrong.

Sinergy




irishbynature -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/2/2006 6:54:04 AM)

I feel those who are able to admit their shortcomings and failures are stronger than those who cannot face, admit, or discuss these experiences.



MasterTyyen -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/2/2006 10:07:29 AM)

I have learned two very simple things from the failures in my life.

The first of which is that only through the bitter pain of failure can you learn to truely appreciate the glory of success. Which is to say that failure, just as all other things, is a nessecary part of lifes experiences and gives us definition and shape to our world, whether we like it or not.

The second of which is that failure makes you humble before the eyes of your gods. Not that this should be taken religiously or in any light as such for those who do not have religion (nothing wrong with that). This, rather, is meant to say that through failure you can be able to take the time and reevaluate your situation, status and plan and then rebuild where it has fallen apart.

Never laugh at anothers failure, for in doing so you only fail yourself.



missturbation -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/2/2006 10:16:40 AM)

I believe i have never failed just faltered !!



pinkee -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/2/2006 11:20:14 AM)

IMO, as to life, W/we never fail.  W/we travel.  However, there are a few things i have learnt the hard way:
 
1.  Never allow fear to control Y/your decisions.
 
2. Rid Y/your psyche of denial.  E/everyone else knows; so should Y/you.
 
3.  Regret is useless and sel-indulgent.  Move on.
 
pinkee



genvieve -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/2/2006 3:23:50 PM)

Thank you, very much puella for asking this question.
 
i actually would have to say that the answer all depends on the specific failure.  But in general... i grow as a person when i fail.  Hopefully, when i can pick muhself up and deal with my pride.  Once i've stomped my feet and gotten rid of the stubborness within me, i try to learn from my mistakes... move on...and not make them again.
 
It's sure as hell not easy, though.



dogobedience -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/2/2006 5:02:01 PM)

Failure happens.

It is what a person does with it that either strengthens or weakens a person.

Few react properly to it, but it is a great building block, one difficult to accept, but one that propells you to the next level. 



MistressSassy66 -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/2/2006 5:11:15 PM)

That I'm only human.

I would also agree I try to use them as a learning experience and not think of it as failure.
There is also the possibility that the failure wasnt really a failure...its just seemed like it at the time.



moontearz -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/3/2006 11:12:42 AM)

I did not react very well to a situation of betrayel and i am now paying the price emotionally and as well rebuilding my relationship with  my Master/husband.  I hope not to diregard his word again when he says to not trust a certain person that he has reason to back that statment up with.  what i'm having trouble with is letting the situation go.  How do you move on from Failure?    The person and persons involved i'm sure have moved on and i'm allowing them to still have the power over me to still hurt me through my letting my hurt and pain continue to haunt me.  Time will heal all things, as the quote goes but time has been stealing my life source and my emotional stablity with this betrayel.  Its time that i move on and heal this wound.   moontearz



Mistressnfantasy -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/5/2006 6:58:09 PM)

Failure is not to be viewed as a negative in any form.. western culture is very fearful of failure...
The only way we can lose in failure is by not reviewing where the problem was, how we could change this experience in future to turn a past failure into a success..
Failure is a lesson in growth and I am grateful for all the failures I have had and for all the failures people like Einstein and other famous inventors have had'
Because without those failures we would not have the amazing technologies and inventions we have today.
I shun at the way western society quivers at failure.



timeoutgurlie -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/5/2006 8:26:43 PM)

For me, when I fail I feel intensely upset about it, but it tends to quickly develop into a positive frame of mind where I realize that my path is chosen for a reason.  I cherish the good, and have to equally embrace the negative and know it's serving a purpose.

Though, in the throes of the failure phase, I do wish it'd hurry up and get to the good part already [:-]



OhBeMyMind -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/5/2006 8:53:29 PM)

~fast reply~
Beyond many things that have already been mentioned (some numerous times)....failure has taught me that sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and say ....damn that sucked.

Then, of course, on rare occasion learning a better way to wallow in self-pity.  [;)]



ExistentialSteel -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/6/2006 2:19:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

Hello A/all,

The use of the term "failure" bothers me.  What some might see as a failure I personally see as an opportunity for growth.

Sinergy


Yep, Sinergy has it here. It is experience. The OP described a failed relationship as her failure at slavery, but I bet if an outsider looked at it objectively, she may not have failed at all. Relationships occur and dissolve and can hardly be called a personal failure by either party.



fldrkhorse -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/6/2006 2:30:48 AM)

My answer is perspective. Failure is perspective. I have learned that failure is not the end of the world, keep it in perspective.



mons -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/7/2006 2:28:38 AM)

greeting puella


what happen to the post about all in the family i do not see it
her at all maybe i am in the wrong place?

best wishes

mons/jane



becca333 -> RE: What we learn from failure? (6/7/2006 3:01:32 AM)

"Failure is not the falling down, but the staying down."

Mind you, there's some fun things you can do while you're down there...



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