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RE: Friends - 5/15/2006 4:00:51 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
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Actually, I don't participate in the local group as it is very heavily weighted toward Doms---but I have two dear friends, one in the Life that know and a vanilla one that knows--sol I can be very open with them--but again its not all the time, there are other things to discuss.

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Post #: 21

RE: Friends - 5/15/2006 4:43:20 AM

Raethepain

Posts: 44
Joined: 4/21/2006
Status: offline

I'm lucky enough to have two very close friends who are both switches, that I can talk to about literally anything. It is easier for me to meet people, as I live in London...

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Post #: 22

RE: Friends - 5/15/2006 5:36:11 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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Only recently started getting more involved in 'the scene' and being in London there is quite a large scene to GET involved in. But even from my current friends and aquaintences I have a number of people who I can quite openly talk to about anything. Thats without counting the Domme, sub/sub couple, lesbian sub and the "WTF don't know what he is but he's having fun" amongst them.

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Post #: 23

RE: Friends - 5/15/2006 6:07:02 AM

Mistrix

Posts: 186
Joined: 2/14/2006
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Thanks everyone for replying and sharing your thoughts about the lifestyle and friendship. I live in a small community and it seems that it would be so hard to start something up. They have a couple of strip bars out here but I guess that's not the same as having a playspace or a munch.
I will keep talking to people and sharing about it. I only have one or two friends that know what I do, but I can't really "talk " about it.

Thanks again everyone.

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Post #: 24

RE: Friends - 5/15/2006 9:33:14 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Well if nothing else make a Domme friend in the forums...exchange e-mails then maybe go to phone ..at least then you could call and have a real live voice and ear to talk to...be well...Tempting

That's a very good idea, tempting.

..Thank you Level....

....*looks about for forklift to carry increasing head size*...(wink)..Tempting

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Post #: 25

RE: Friends - 5/15/2006 10:23:13 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistrix

In my area there is aren't any women that I can sit with and have a coffee and rant and rave about BDSM. I find it kind of lonely at times, wishing that there were other Domina's close by that we can hang out, go to movies or just walks and exchange ideas. Online is great but it's not the same as being face to face.
Am I alone in this?
Do most of you have "friends" that you can talk to about anything???? Or is it like some secret all the time. That's how I feel. THe only time I can really share is online. And well, that is not always boring but I would like to meet more women face to face. Even just to hang out and go to shops, talk, and share about our experiences. Can anyone relate to this?

Ms Mistrix,

According to google North Bay, Ontario, which is where I presume you are, has a population of about 55,000. That is pretty small, but I'd bet my bottom dollar (U.S. even) that there are at least a few other dominant women living near you. The problem is finding them and meeting them.

Starting a munch group is a good idea, but I don't think you'll have much success by advertising it online. The chances of it being read by a domina near you are pretty small. I think what you need to do is check out your local newspapers, particularly any Arts and Entertainment periodicals for your area. Do any of them run personal ads? If you are willing to pay the money, and any local publication will print such an ad, I'd recommend advertising there to start a munch group.

I don't know about your mobility or your finances. If you're able to travel regularly, I'd suggest you go to some events in Toronto, which I show as being about 300 km from you, or maybe Ottawa.

In answer to your question, by the way, I had become something of a recluse, with no real friends, or anybody offline with whom I could talk about my innermost self. A couple of years ago, I realized that if I continued to live the way I was living, I would spend the rest of my life as a lonely, increasingly bitter old man. That realization was what prompted me to get off my butt and go and join the local group, Desert Dominion. Now, I have friends with whom I can be myself, with whom I can talk about BDSM or anything else, with whom I can experiment and explore this (huge) side of myself.

Having such friends is a lifesaver and I wish you good fortune in finding some.

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Post #: 26

RE: Friends - 5/15/2006 11:17:49 PM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
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I have been fortunate enough to find friends that have at least heard some about bdsm and will at least give me my leave to be who I am and not attempt to dictate who I should be, according to their values. We all agree that what i do is not what they do, vice versa, and if there is some overlap, totally groovy gravy. On the other hand, I have run into some that prefer to just judge based on a biased opinion of me and insist on high school chest beating as a means of communicating, which is fine as well. Eventually, I'll have my fill of it and someone will go the ICU ward. They chose the path I am simply following along to see what's at the end. Call it curiosity.

Friends don't have to like everything you are into, and vice versa, but if you can't be who you are with your friends, then they aren't friends, merely people that you hang out with once in a while when you are bored and can;t think of anything better to do at the time. At least that is how it is in my universe.

- Dustyn

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Post #: 27

RE: Friends - 5/16/2006 5:55:45 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne

I don't know LA, I have very dear friends who know nothing of this part of my life. We became friends at different times for different reasons. I'm not tyring to say your wrong, I'm just saying i have never thought of it that way.

And I stil haven't adjusted to your comments coming from the purple bunny.

Peace and light

K

I understand and I think that's a valid way to go as well.

But I feel if I can't be open about all of myself, how can I expect them to be? And if we can't expect eachother to be fully open about ourselves and secure that we will respect eachother, how can we call ourselves friends?

For me, friendship is pretty much all or nothing.

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Post #: 28

RE: Friends - 5/16/2006 10:57:56 AM

redpetals

Posts: 229
Joined: 6/27/2005
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i can relate..i am new to this also and i am coming on my half century mark(well i SOYTinlee hope i cum on my half century mark)..i stopped going out with my vanila friends...i stopped having vanila friends..it was not a choice i made really.. it just works that way..when i have to be careful of what i say it makes for uncomfortable silences..and ..so i still have a vanila network but the dynamics have changed...i have nurtured (hungrily) a few friendships here at Collarme..and if you can get past that jaded essence most of the people who've been here awhile develope you will find friends too...good luck kiddo

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RE: Friends - 5/16/2006 11:19:55 AM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
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I can talk to my best (vanilla) girl friend and about a decent amount of stuff; for the most part I do rely on friend I have in this lifestyle. My mentor and her husband are always around if I have questions. I have a decent number of friends who are around, I can always pick-up the phone or email or IM. Keeping my off-site journal updated is one way as well. My friends are my sanity at times, in and out of this lifestyle.

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Post #: 30