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LadyConstanze -> RE: Disabled (6/14/2011 8:24:01 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: indibob
Where oh where did all this come from? Not asking for sympathy at all. Was asking for advice, which i believe is what this forum is for? So you couldnt give a care if I'm disabled or not...so what? Is that really helpful? I mean why bother posting if it's just to say that?
If a person like me messaged you, believe me, it would be in error.
As to the nice Ladies that actually gave advice. especially in regards to my profile, i thank You. Some of you are really decent to take that time
Yes it IS really helpful, because as she said, you make the big deal out of being disabled, she doesn't.
As far as I see it, your disability doesn't stop you from communicating, yet your communication skills are everything but good, instead of trying to improve them, you go on about your disability. It's almost like a flash back to a work situation I had maybe 2 years ago, we looked to fill a position and made it quite clear that you have to be flexible especially when it comes to work hours as we were dealing a lot with the US and Asia at the time, that there would be days when overtime on short notice was required, that frequent business trips are part of the job, a lady with 2 kids applied and insisted it would not be a problem at all, her mom and her husband are supportive of her career. Otherwise she ticked all the right boxes, marketing background, even some Chinese, we trusted her word, that was a mistake, when it mattered, she could not do the overtime, she couldn't travel, she said "Well, it's not possible with the 2 kids" - otherwise she was fine but she simply wasn't getting any promotions and she always claimed she's discriminated because she has 2 small kids. Well nope, she simply couldn't bring the same commitment to the table as others and others had to fill in for her, so to promote her wouldn't have been fair to the others who pulled their weight. In the end you're not getting paid by a company to raise your children but to do the job you signed up for.
You're not being discriminated for being disabled or not being able to do certain things, as long as you don't promise those things and make it clear what you can and can't do. Focus on what you can do (as others have said), explain why you can't do yard work etc. and that should be fine. But don't expect that somebody will come along and pander to you because you are disabled, you don't want a relationship based on pity, do you?
As to
quote:
Just wondered if i could ask the Ladies why it seems so hard for a disabled sub to find a Mistress?
You got the answer several times, it's hard for male submissives to find a Mistress, maybe it's even harder for somebody who's disabled but improve your communication skills and overcome that hurdle. Bring something else to the table, you know most people with bad eye sight hear a lot better, because the ears compensate (which is why when you are blindfolded all other senses seem to be more alert) - find something you are very good at and offer that. I mean your disability possibly doesn't stop you from taking a manicure or pedicure class or learn gourmet cooking - that would be something that would help you a lot in your search.
quote:
Also advice on how to market myself to potential Mistresses would be very welcome
See above, skills, get some skills... You didn't need us to tell you that, you must have known that yourself.
We keep on saying over and over again that we are women first, dominants later and if you can't grab the interest of the woman, forget about the rest and as a woman I can tell you, a guy who'll say "I can do this, that and the other!" and has a can do attitude is much much more attractive than a guy who tells me why he can't do certain things and concentrates on the negatives. Just like the CMails we get with "Why is it so hard for a guy to find a Mistress..." Oh hell, last thing I want to do is to reply to the mail of somebody who wants a pity party...
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