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Hello from Wales - 6/12/2011 3:14:26 PM   
CARDIFFMALE


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/4/2011
Status: offline 		Hi Everybody,

I haven’t worked this place out yet. I’m really getting confused by that fact that I’m getting contacted by women from the US more than by those in the UK. How does that work ??? I don’t even see US listings when I login (I think it would be a little overwhelming to see the whole world so I’m not complaining). Why the US though and not anywhere else? Anyways “Hi” to all and thank you for having me here. Its been fun so far. Thanks to all those from the US that have been in contact too. Although I work out there every other month I think its a little too far away for a good relationship.

Hwyl,
Andy

PS. Apologies if this is in the wrong place
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Hello from Wales - 6/12/2011 3:48:58 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Howdy, Andy!

Many more members from US than UK - so you're getting proportional results.  Watch out for contacts from the ProDoms - scenes for money - they will hit up new male members just to see if you'll "bite" on their adverts and such.

To "see" UK profiles when you sign on - adjust your search parameters just below the big first pic.

More fun to be had over here (on message board side) than over on other side (profiles and CMail.)

Best approach?  Write some posts over here and read some threads and figure out who is who and that will all help you figure out  what's going on - that way, you'll build a reputation.  You can see the professional services forum and that will "reveal" the Pros.  Or at least many of them.

So, yes, use both sides hand-in-hand and you'll soon have it figured out.

Oh, yes, A DomMale looking for a sub female is in a seller's market.  Be charming polite and approach the sub woman with more than "looking to screw."  YOUR profile is well written.  Now you have to get some sub ladies to look at it.  Actually, choose "ALL STATES" even though that doesn't "mean" anything.  Then country = UK.  City= Wales  (which is weird, but got 15 ladies to show in the results when I did it.)  Then all the same, but City - Cardiff.  Different batch - I think.

YES!  Have fun.  More help? I'm willing to answer questions for you  (on other side. - That is, write me a CMail)

Damn- why can't you be gay sub???? That ginger color is "hot" to me, blue eyes - slurp.  And my paternal grandmother was born in US of parents that had emigrated from Cardiff - maybe you can help me with genealogical research.

WELCOME to the boards.

Be patient in your search - and don't wait for someone to approach you.

// whispers to self as he walks away, shaking head...... damn! why couldn't he be a gay male sub? ... I really like his profile just as a PERSON... //

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to CARDIFFMALE)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Hello from Wales - 6/12/2011 4:24:43 PM   
CARDIFFMALE


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/4/2011
Status: offline 		Hello Lance,

Thanks for taking the time to respond – how terribly nice of you! This is a very friendly place.

I have plenty of women buzzing around me in real-life but sadly I think they’re all vanilla. I figured at least here I could start up front here with my main criteria

My comment above wasn’t a complaint in anyway as I have already made contact with several interesting local ladies here. I’m just curious about how the US ones are even seeing me? Why the hell would they be looking for a Welsh Dom?

The name Hughes kind of gives away your heritage. The skiing is much better where you are mate – although having spent time in Colorado I would say that I feel more at home with the lefties in Boulder than in Denver.

Take care,
Andy

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Hello from Wales - 6/12/2011 5:54:56 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forum, Andy. I hope you enjoy your stay with us.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to CARDIFFMALE)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Hello from Wales - 6/12/2011 6:21:37 PM   
ashjor911


Posts: 7793
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: balcony, having a Smoke
Status: offline 		Welcome To CM

_____________________________

"operative" working undercover for the federal government of bangladesh.

my name is : bonsh ... jamesh bonsh.
code name : 009.5
licensed to give formla

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Hello from Wales - 6/12/2011 8:43:11 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Lance Hughes is a screen name - and yes the Hughes is that Welsh family name.  My great-Aunt Margaret was sort of an "Auntie Mame" character in my life.  Google the movie. (Was there a novel?)  So, Hughes is NOT my patronymn, but I honor it.  Lance was what my Dad wanted as the first name of his first child.  Mother would NOT hear of it due to the "sexual" significance of it..... Since I was born in 1950, I can kind of see her point. <pun intended.>

As boys have been named Lance in the last few decades, and since I really like that name, I decided to honor my father's wishes.  P.S. He might well have been gay himself..... I have a small amount of circumstantial evidence.

Why all this concentration on my father's side of the family?  Well, my real/life was so influenced, submerged, what have you in my mother's side - I decided to give myself a bit of balance. LOL!  Ex: My father worked for his father-in-law.  For the first 15 years of my life, we lived in an apartment (flat) that was rented from that same man (my maternal grandfather), I was trained in the family business, etc. German/Polish only..... Oh, and both my father's mother and my father's Aunt - my Great Aunt Margaret, also rented flats from my thourghly German Grandfather.  (Who didn't really like those English folks - "But they're not really English, Daddy," my mom would say, so that made it okay.) You get the idea.....

Regards, Lance Hughes

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 6/12/2011 9:29:04 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to ashjor911)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Hello from Wales - 6/12/2011 9:17:51 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CARDIFFMALE
<snipped>
I have plenty of women buzzing around me in real-life but sadly I think they’re all vanilla. I figured at least here I could start up front here with my main criteria
<snipped>

AHH-HA!
Let me tell you - you say that your main criterion is BDSM orientation - what a mistake!
Especially since they're buzzing around you.  Lucky, lucky boy!

Put the BDSM to the side for the moment. Your profile tells us what you're REALLY looking for - and THAT's what you should be looking for in the one's buzzing around.

Get 'em interested in you as a person (just as I find you an interesting person from a few lines.)
THEN it's time to find out if the fit continues.

Negotiate over dessert. 

"Since we seem so very interested in each other, I think I should let you know an intimate thing about me.  Oh, nothing very serious, it's just that this whipped cream reminds me that sometimes I like to try some bedroom things that others might think kinda weird.   Do you like to "play" in the bedroom?

What do you mean?

Oh, sometimes I like to give orders as to what I want you to do.

What do you mean?  [At least she didn't say "You pervert - I'm out of here" or worse (from your point of view)  "I'll be giving the orders in the bedroom, mister."]

Let's get out of here and I show you what I mean..... cut to car/ front door opens/ pets dog/ bedroom door opens....

I told you I like to give orders..... here's one ...Strip for me..... but slowly.  I'l sit here and you can do a little show for me.

// getting hot in here for even the gay men. LOL! //

That's enough. Leave those stockings and high heels on.  They are damn sexy.
Now get over here and kneel between my legs.

When she looks up at you, gentle hair pull and say "You've been a very good girl so far.  Are you enjoying this?

Yes, very much.

Hair tug... That's "Yes, Sir.  Very much, Sir."

At this point you get GREEN light or "Too far, too fast for me" OR some other, but TOTALLY discenible reaction.

Go from there.  You're a smart young lad.

Different approach: <more physical>

Get an  interesting AND interested person into bed and try a little bit of what's called "slap and tickle."  Let a little bit of your sexual interest out of the bag.  Light hair pull, a gentle bite to the nipple, maybe a light swat to the arse.

OR -  When you're both undressed and she is kinda waiting for you to take the lead, DO SO. "I like some playful things, do you?"

Be prepared for suprise answers - "Cor, mate... thought you'd never ask." (or whatever the Welsh accent is that I'm trying to guess at. LOL!)

Maybe after the third or fourth time in bed, a lite "command" - "Get over here, Jennie.... I want to see your arse over my knee."  YMWV - your mileage Will vary.

=================

All of the above is predicated upon building a relationship FIRST.... then trying your BDSM interests on her.

MUCH longer lasting than the other way 'round.  And since they're buzzing around - you have a few to work on if the first is a Domme, for example. LOL!

ETA:  AND, if the young ladies in question run in the same circle, why they might just self-select as soon as you 've had one react "poorly" - that is poorly from your point of view.  Soon enough Roxanne lets Grace know that "He's too much for a good girl like me."  What do you mean, Roxie?  The other nite he started pulling my hair and commanding me around - like to strip for him.  Not nothing too much, but too much for me.  Grace says  "That's just terrible." And, as soon as Roxanne leaves, Grace is fguring how to raise her game.  The ones that drop away from buzzing around?  Why that's good for you, now, isn't it?


< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 6/12/2011 9:40:42 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to CARDIFFMALE)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Hello from Wales - 6/13/2011 1:26:06 AM   
CARDIFFMALE


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/4/2011
Status: offline 		Hi Lance,

While it’s a bit like a bees nest at times then they all seem to have one main thing in mind – good father…. (I love my kids). I attract the first timers looking for a caring sperm donor or the single mums looking for a replacement father. I’m not completely adverse to the idea I guess but for the time being I’d rather not dilute the effort I can put in with the genetic decedents that I already have! Lets just say that, much as I love the ones I already have, I don’t want anymore kids at this point in time....

In my experience then if women really want to be with you then they’ll agree to just about anything at the outset. It’ll be months before they show their true colours and you really get to know what they are about. It seems that the majority of women will agree to some bondage or what-have-you in those first rosy months. I’m looking for a woman that wants to be kinky in the long-term – a soul mate and maybe one who’s kinkier that I am (Yee hah! ) I’ve had two proper D/s relationships way in the past and I just crave that intensity again. My guess is that most folk here know what I mean on that front so I figured it might be a good place to start. At least the girls here are self-selected to be kinky. Now I just need to filter out the really crazy ones LOL! ;)

Thanks for the encouragement,

Andy

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Hello from Wales - 6/13/2011 4:47:21 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Bore Da, Andy!  Welcome, and I wish you luck!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to CARDIFFMALE)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Hello from Wales - 6/14/2011 7:18:01 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome to the boards Andy.  May you find the one you seek.  Google "munch and the name of the nearest largest city/town" see what comes up.  You may have some luck there also.  A chance to meet people R/L and to make friends and connections.  

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Hello from Wales - 6/18/2011 6:45:33 AM   
OohAahMrs


Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline 		Hey Andy, don't knock it, it's your global appeal to women of the world!

_____________________________

You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

(in reply to CARDIFFMALE)
Profile   Post #: 11
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