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I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/14/2006 5:20:10 PM   
NikkiAnn


Posts: 64
Joined: 5/7/2006
From: Redford, MI (near Detroit)
Status: offline 		Dear Mistresses,
   I have been reading many of the forums and have not come across anyone in my situation yet. I have taken the advice from some of the great people here and put together a profile that explains what I have to offer and what few needs I have (including some pictures) but there does not seem to be having any  interest in my profile. I think it may be because I am a Male to Female transsexual. Is this the reason I am not getting any interest? or is there something else I need to add or change in my profile? I would greatly appreciate any help you may have to offer. Thank You for taking the time to read this.

Submissively Yours,
Nikki Ann

_____________________________

DANCE as though no one is watching,
LOVE as though you have never been hurt before,
SING as though no one can hear you,
LIVE as though heaven is on earth.--Souza
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/14/2006 5:42:54 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I would say that cd's & tv's probably get less interest just because it's different than what most seek. Changing profile to leave this off is lying and in my world grounds for immediate dismissal and probably some pretty hard feelings. Being in the middle of surgeries (I assume) and seeking a mistress you're narrowing yourself even more. Because now you have to find a lesbian that doesn't care about packages south of the border.
Your profile is very clear on what tasks you can provide which is a good thing. Many very mans man activities I noted. Someone looking for a sissy maid might be your best match in the short term or a mistress that is very task/ service oriented that doesn't have any use for boy parts anyway. These are few and far between but not impossible.

(in reply to NikkiAnn)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/14/2006 5:49:01 PM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		I am not a Mistress, but I think I will take a stab at a reason or two.  According to your profile you have been here about a week, that is hardly any time at all (personally, I think I have been here almost 4 years all total).

Have you been sending well-thought out and carefully written letters to people who you think you may be compatable with? Are you going out into the local community and connecting with people in real  life? (although this may not have much to do with meeting someone here, I feel that it helps you decide what you want more specifically). 
Participating here is a good start.  These boards are the reason that I am here and continue to be here.

I don't know if this helps, please let me know if you want more clarification.

(in reply to NikkiAnn)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/14/2006 5:55:13 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		even with a perfect profile very few dommes are searching profiles...you have to be proactive and write real letters to them.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to siamsa24)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/14/2006 6:11:13 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

even with a perfect profile very few dommes are searching profiles...you have to be proactive and write real letters to them.


I completely agree with this... the female dominants really don't search profiles that often. On this site there is an option to set up search parameters & that is pretty much the extent of the search... just what pops up when we sign on before we go to clean out our inbox full of unwanted types of replies.

As to your gender... let me tell you that there are women out there that have no issue with transsexuals. In fact my partner is M2F. I agree with what the others have said... many aren't out specifically searching for transsexuals. Neither was I, I just happen to make friends with a someone who was & our relationship blossomed.

Be honest about who you are no matter what. Not just the fact that you are TS but all of the other truths about yourself. We are much more than our gender. Some people will appreciate you for who you are not just your gender.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/14/2006 6:28:06 PM   
MissBabydoll


Posts: 62
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		As a ProDomme who deals a lot with feminine males along a spectrum (crossdressers, sissies, t-girls, and TSs like yourself) I'd second the responders who say you need to be out about your status--and also the ones who say that Dommes seldom search for subs. We don't have to, we're too busy anyway, and we assume that the subs who are really interested in us will be looking. That doesn't mean you should not have a complete and lively profile; you should, because when one of us contacts you, we will look at that as well as your (hopefully) thoughtful, focused, and intriguing message of introduction.

(in reply to NikkiAnn)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/14/2006 8:57:03 PM   
DigitBox


Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NikkiAnn

Dear Mistresses,
  I have been reading many of the forums and have not come across anyone in my situation yet. I have taken the advice from some of the great people here and put together a profile that explains what I have to offer and what few needs I have (including some pictures) but there does not seem to be having any  interest in my profile. I think it may be because I am a Male to Female transsexual. Is this the reason I am not getting any interest? or is there something else I need to add or change in my profile? I would greatly appreciate any help you may have to offer. Thank You for taking the time to read this.

Submissively Yours,
Nikki Ann


More men than bio women are interested in trans women.

I get a lot of messages from guys looking for me to be their Domme, and the occasional one looking for me to be their sub.  Some guys just like CWD's.  It's pretty much a fetish all unto itself.

I've looked at your profile and the first part about jobs reads like a resume and it's all very oriented towards male perceptions of what is important.  It's enough to say you are employed as a technical writter.  Same with the part about renovating Her house and and fixing Her vehicle.  Just say you have renovation and auto repair skills.  The rest is TMI.

How long have you been in transition?  Are you living full time? What is your operative status?  Even those who are interested in TS women might want to know these things.

(in reply to NikkiAnn)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/14/2006 9:09:15 PM   
Kirei


Posts: 146
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		  Girl as a another MtoF transsexuall and pre-op to boot....live with it!  If you want a male dominants they line up for you....but female dominants are few and far between(the holy grail).  I have been lucky enough to have found a few female dominants that I can train under, but have really yet to find that so called "one". 
Now I just switch and pass on my knowledge, experience, and passion to others that may with to learn from me.  If that special person comes along...great....until then I will just be me and enjoy the lifestyle in the best way I can. 
  A very good friend told me when I started in this.  Its 90% about you, and what you bring to it.  It doesn't matter if you have that "one" or not....in the end you have to like or love whatever role you wish in the lifestyle.  To me that meant a lot, and it has heped me a lot so maybe it might for you.
Good luck in your search.

Koneko

(in reply to DigitBox)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/14/2006 9:14:41 PM   
Nikolette


Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with the statements already made... Of course most people have to put in a good amount of time toward their search for a partner. So if you have only been around a week, give it more time. You also should browse profiles, read them fully and respond in a sensitive and appropriate manner to each person. Do not send form letters. Its incredibly offputting to most. Also, do be open with your trans sexual status and in general...  just be you and be patient and honest.

I do occasionally browse profiles, but I don't often message people unless there is something beyond interesting about them.  I personally do not have any interest in trans sexuals other than as a Just Friends status. I am not really sure why... but its my preference... I think there are certainly a lot of Dominas who mirror that feeling as well.

But I to trust that with time... everything gets resolved is we allow it to.. I would also generally recommend focusing on making lots of friends here. They have been more valuable to me than any romantic connections I've made in general.

_____________________________

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to NikkiAnn)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/14/2006 9:32:44 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		As I mentioned on the other thread, a sci-fi reading, Ren Faire going submissive T-girl would be extremely high on my personal play list.  Except you aren't local, and I am really not interested in an LDR or in relocating anybody.  So that's pretty much that.

Seriously?  Move to a city with the biggest possible kink community, preferably a queer-friendly one like San Francisco or Los Angeles or Seattle.  Or get as active as possible in your local kink community. 

(in reply to Nikolette)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/14/2006 10:39:28 PM   
DigitBox


Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline 		Just a note to all.

CD/TV is not the same as TS.

I'll spare everyone the long list of differences and similarities.




(in reply to NikkiAnn)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/15/2006 12:27:05 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Dear Nikki Ann,

Girlfriend.. you've only had your new profile up for a day. Patience, hon.. patience! Remember what I said about getting out into your local community, too. Network, network.

Patience and networking! Yup. ;)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to NikkiAnn)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/16/2006 10:07:57 AM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		don't take it personally dear.. and contrary to what someone else said.. TV/CD etc get as much attention and desire as any other submissive. that's like saying oh pony slaves aren't in high demand because that's not what most seek that reasoning is absurd. there is a submissive and a dominant for everyone- just takes a wee bit of time to find one.

the truth is.. a lot of dominants (typically female).. don't approach submissives. i know i don't unless their profile TRULY strikes me.

do the best you can.. your profile says what you want.. like crouchingtigress said..

quote:

even with a perfect profile very few dommes are searching profiles...you have to be proactive and write real letters to them.



_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to NikkiAnn)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/16/2006 3:34:01 PM   
ShivaTS


Posts: 132
Joined: 2/4/2006
Status: offline 		Im sorry for responding.  I am not a Mistress but as yet another preop I felt I needed to speak up.  It took alittle while to find my Master.  I found I didnt get any responses to my profile from Mistresses but alot from Masters/Doms.  I ended up meeting my Master at a munch that was posted on the forums.  I was lucky that he approached me to talk and after a long discussion asked for him to consider me.  Master has taken me to play parties lately and constantly Mistresses/Dommes come up to my Master to tell him how much they enjoy me and ask him where he got me.  Like a previous post said, "Network, network, network."

Good luck.

Just wanted to say, its nice to find out there's alittle community of trans on this site.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/16/2006 5:02:22 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear EbonyFtshGoddess, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Like you, I don't search the slave/submissive profiles.  I came up in the scene where the protocol was slaves approached Masters/Mistresses.
 
The thought of the day, was that a dominant should not look like they were desperate.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/16/2006 8:41:33 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		Nikki, there's absolutely nothing wrong with your profile, but like others have said, most female dominants don't search the submissive profiles, so you need to be proactive in your search.  Easier said than done, sometimes, I know.
 
A few people here have noted that your transition status may be hindering your search.  I'm not sure how accurate that assessment is, but I know that the one individual Master and I did consider (and actively pursue) as the second slave in our household was a very dear friend of ours who happens to be post-op mtf.  Unfortunately, she didn't join our household because she feared it would damage the relationship the three of us already had.
 
Be patient, be friendly, and have faith.  You'll find the right situation for you.  Just give it time.  And in the meantime, chat it up and make some friends! 

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to NikkiAnn)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I have a Question for the Mistresses here - 5/17/2006 4:16:08 AM   
NikkiAnn


Posts: 64
Joined: 5/7/2006
From: Redford, MI (near Detroit)
Status: offline 		Dear Mistresses, Masters, and Subs,
I wish to thank all of you for all the great advice I have received so far. I have updated my profile utilizing some of the advice I received here. Especially the paragraph that sounded more like a resume of job experience and the one that talked about my remodeling abilities. I added a few more of my personal likes and changed the part about what I won't do to make it clearer. I understand now that stating hard limits is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. It's more like a challenge to Mistresses and Masters who will want to test those limits. Also, I will be proactive in my search and to contact, (respectfully of course), Mistresses that may have some of the same interests in common with myself. No form letters either, I don't like those anyway. I feel using a form letter to contact each Mistress show's no respect. Once again I want to thank you all so much.

Submissively Yours,
Nikki Ann

P.S. To Miss Celeste, I do need to learn to be more patient; I will have to work on that. J
 


_____________________________

DANCE as though no one is watching,
LOVE as though you have never been hurt before,
SING as though no one can hear you,
LIVE as though heaven is on earth.--Souza

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 17
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