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RE: how can anyone just start up in bdsm - 5/15/2006 12:03:08 AM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
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I have to agree with Lady Hugs and Ms MacComb here. The fact that you "have never been into this shit" means that you might not have a submissive bone in your body. You might just like being tied up and having your butt whacked every now and then.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. You are what you are, even though you may not know exactly WHAT you are at this point. Some have told you to read all the books about dominance and submission and to learn all about what Dominas want, as if that were even possible. While I would agree that you should check this material out, if you find that it does nothing for you, then ignore it.

If there is a local play group, or munch group, join it and go to their events. Meet people, make friends and talk about it. Don't be afraid to ask stupid questions, as there's no such thing. Explore and find out what you like.

A lot of people on this site give the impression that being a dominant or submissive is good and being a top or bottom (or as they say, JUST a top or bottom) is bad. Balderdash! There is no good or bad here, no right or wrong. There's just what works for you. Just as there are people who have no interest in submission, who just like to bottom from time to time, there are people who have no interest in dominance and just like to top from time to time.

Find out what works for you and go for it.

(in reply to MsMacComb)

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RE: how can anyone just start up in bdsm - 5/15/2006 11:58:31 AM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

Sure, you can just start right up. I mean, what could possibly go wrong with this red-hot iron branding scene with inverted suspension from a nipple piercing? I've read three whole books by John Norman....

Seriously, welcome to the wonderful world of kink, do some reading and research, learn about how to play safely, and don't do anything (or let anyone do something to you) that is beyond their level of skill and experience.

(in reply to MsMacComb)

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Post #: 22

RE: how can anyone just start up in bdsm - 5/15/2006 1:53:50 PM

MsMacComb

Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

Sure, you can just start right up. I mean, what could possibly go wrong with this red-hot iron branding scene with inverted suspension from a nipple piercing? I've read three whole books by John Norman....

Your well known bias against me aside, its interesting where you came up with""" red-hot iron branding scene with inverted suspension from a nipple piercing""" from someone that mentioned a little spanking. Why do you and some other people think that a particular type of fetish will morph into something else? If someone has a spanking fetish it in no way means they will one day have an interest in whips, needles, cutting or branding. That notion stems from those that adopt the "truism/real of S/M" as in "real subs, real dommes, one way only, one size fits all, if you don't do it like I do you're not real" and all that nonsense.
So as to the subject matter that was mentioned let me offer this advice up so the person can save money on books.
Spanking: Raise hand, strike the buttocks. End of lesson, lol.
If you have a personal issue with me why not IM me and vent your frustration there instead of bringing your hatred and jealousy into other peoples threads ok cupcake? Have a nice day.

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RE: how can anyone just start up in bdsm - 5/15/2006 1:59:45 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: convinceme

Is there some meeting, training, explaination. I have never been into this shit, but I was on a date with a lady who smacked my ass and told me to grab the wall. I thought she was joking so I did and she laid into. It pissed me off! But later that night I thought about it and got a serious hard-on about it. Does that mean I liked it enough to relax and be spanked.. or dominated by a woman... I have never been dominated by anyone..

This is, in general, the way that most of us get into BDSM. We just start doing things.

However it may be better for you in the long run to learn somethings especially how to talk about sex and sexual practices. While its fun to say yes and go with the flow, it is also important to learn your limits and to stand up for yourself.

Being spanked is a subset of BDSM. You may never like any other part of it and that is perfectly OK and in fact quite normal. I think the last big Kinsey study said something like 40% of all adult Americans had done erotic spankings but I'm betting the vast majority of them would never say they do BDSM nor would they do much beyond that.

Only you can determine what is good for you.

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

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(in reply to convinceme)

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RE: how can anyone just start up in bdsm - 5/15/2006 4:03:46 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMacComb
Your well known bias against me aside, its interesting where you came up with""" red-hot iron branding scene with inverted suspension from a nipple piercing""" from someone that mentioned a little spanking. Why do you and some other people think that a particular type of fetish will morph into something else?

Eh? I clicked on "fast reply" at the bottom of the page, and apparently CM decided that I was replying specifically to your post.

quote:

If you have a personal issue with me why not IM me and vent your frustration there instead of bringing your hatred and jealousy into other peoples threads ok cupcake? Have a nice day.

I don't. I was posting an amusing tongue-in-cheek reply to the original thread. If I did read your particular post amongst the masses, I didn't pay attention to the name tacked onto it.

I'm curious as to who knows about my well known bias. This is almost sillier than my comment about inverted nipple piercing suspension.

(in reply to MsMacComb)

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Post #: 25

RE: how can anyone just start up in bdsm - 5/15/2006 8:36:44 PM

LoneGoddess

Posts: 73
Joined: 1/1/2005
From: Moscow, Idaho
Status: offline

I am going to suggest you get yourself off to a local munch and meet people. Because you can read all there is to read, but until you get out with people who are into what you're starting to have an interest in, you won't get a clear picture of it. And I hear tell there's a group in your area. Google might help as I don't have any info on them other than they exist.

LG~

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"Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time.
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(in reply to MsMacComb)

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Post #: 26

RE: how can anyone just start up in bdsm - 5/16/2006 9:46:50 AM

convinceme

Posts: 9
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline

HarryVanWinkle, now that makes more sense, I am more than likely not sub at all, but maybe sometimes I might want to be bottom which I have never done. That feels more clear.

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

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RE: how can anyone just start up in bdsm - 5/16/2006 9:50:39 AM

convinceme

Posts: 9
Joined: 8/19/2005
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Thank you LoneGoddess, I will see if there is a munch in my area, and just go meet some friends and ask questions.

(in reply to LoneGoddess)

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RE: how can anyone just start up in bdsm - 5/16/2006 7:08:48 PM

MistressLove999

Posts: 201
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Daytona Beach, Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: convinceme

Is there some meeting, training, explaination. I have never been into this shit, but I was on a date with a lady who smacked my ass and told me to grab the wall. I thought she was joking so I did and she laid into. It pissed me off! But later that night I thought about it and got a serious hard-on about it. Does that mean I liked it enough to relax and be spanked.. or dominated by a woman... I have never been dominated by anyone..

simple..............call the lady up and go back out on a date with her again..........and surf the net for free first. See what it is that peaks your interest.
Enjoy.

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(in reply to convinceme)

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Post #: 29