RE: Toleration

RE: Toleration (Full Version)

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MHOO314 -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 4:07:17 AM)
IMHEO, a good Dominant knows and is aware at all times where their submissives tolerance level is--yes we push that level, but One has to be cognizant of human limitations.

meatcleaver -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 4:28:25 AM)
Tolerance levels vary from day to day but if you set a task that is beyond achievable it is pointless, unless there is some psychological issue behind it.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 5:52:17 AM)
As well, there are some doms smart enough to think ahead and let the sub KNOW that they don't mean forever, unless it's some sadistic game. I know I work hard to be precise in my language and have learned when I'm dominating to be specific in letting the other person know "kneel there, and it's ok to shift if you get tired" or something to that effect. They also know that I don't want them hurting themselves unnecessarily, so unless I've TOLD them that I specifically mean to hold the position until I specifically say otherwise, that they should use their own best judgement. If it is some sadistic game of endurance, then I can see keeping position until they simply can't stand it anymore.

Hawksgirldove -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 5:52:58 AM)
Couldn't agree more. For me, i would remain in possition for as long as i was physically able to. Or until such a time as one's Dominant returned. this thread reminds me of a scene, wher ei was forced to do soem serious soul searching. I was required to sit one hour in my cage, while Sir was absent. I was allowed to do anything i wanted to do while in the cage, but i needed to be focused onstaying inside, and being His, and what my status was. I bruoght a clip board in with me, and wrote mythoughts, moment by moment. Nope, not many erotic thoughts. Maybe a few in the first couple of minutes, but later, the thoughts were very real... What if someone came in the room and saw me? What did i look like? My discomfort and having to change positions due to cramping. What if i had to pee? Could i hold it? Would i get out of the cgae and return into it? Would i urinate inthe cage,and clean it up after thehour was through? If Master came home early, what would he see in me.. a grown pathetic woman in a cage, or would he see the beauty in my submision and obedience? All very real, soul searching thoughts. The answers to a few of my won questions amazed even me. While i did not like the premise of the Secretary, and found that they had lots of psychological issues.. i too did find the level of her devotion and obiendence very titilating.

Submotive -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 2:00:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fastlane How long should one tolerate a particular command? In other words, put your hands forward, palms up...don't move until I come back. How long would you wait? In the Secretary, she peed herself without moving, could you be so serving and submissive? Just curious. I'm going to Pee as ?? waits with palms up...Tee hee hee, Thanks, Kevin gawd - i don't know about anyone else. i'm a thinking slave. No Master doesn't have to explain everything to me, but if He told me to do something like this i would have to ask Him how long He'd be gone, am i permitted to go to the bathroom if necessary, what if my arms just won't hold the position any longer? i'd have a lot of questions regarding a command like this, simply because it's not very precise and does not take human needs into consideration. His response might be an explanation and it might be "do you trust me?" But i would have questions.

darq -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 2:06:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo quote: ORIGINAL: fastlane How long should one tolerate a particular command? In other words, put your hands forward, palms up...don't move until I come back. How long would you wait? In the Secretary, she peed herself without moving, could you be so serving and submissive? Just curious. I'm going to Pee as ?? waits with palms up...Tee hee hee, Thanks, Kevin I might get blasted for this but I don't personally find "The Secretary" to be a good model for a BDSM relationship at all. Too many personal and psychological problems on both sides for my tastes. But in general, I'd expect a good submissive to try to maintain a position for as long as they could; I'd expect a good dominant to not be stupid enough to make them wait too long and draw such public attention to them. Yes because we all know that 'true' Dominants and submissives never have personal or psychological problems ... snerts I think part of the point of that movie was that D/s people are, holy shit, real people with real problems and dealing with those problems is part of being a person ... Anyway, to answer the OP ... I would love to be in a position where I just knew the dominant was so right for me that if he told me to sit and wait that I would sit and wait ... Until he returned. To simply know that I would obey him ... Even if it meant peeing on myself, kicking my ex fiance's ass, and wearing a too small dress for a few days without a shower to do it.

ArchangelMichael -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 2:10:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bandit25 I think Archangel's comment is on target. Being an "older" sub myself, I have some physical limitations. I simply cannot kneel for long periods of time without causing some problems. My fomer dom and I had some problems with just this issue until I followed an order of his and ended up at the doctor's and in bed for a period of time. I would follow them until I couldn't...until I knew that it would cause serious problems. Right. This is where it's really important to know your submissive and what their physical limitations are.

Wulfchyld -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 2:13:52 PM)
[sm=applause.gif] Well done darq.

xxmstrchasxx -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 2:39:02 PM)
I would expect my sub to do what I command as long as possible without physically hurting herself and causing injury. I think she would stand there forever really, if she could.

Bearlee -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 3:00:45 PM)
If I had given up the control of me to another…for a day or for a lifetime…I would do as I was told (baring injuring myself (and the Dom/me would agree with that, I might add) or going against agreed limits. The cool thing is, with ones I submit to…I generally do not have to ‘use’ limits…because I’ve taken the time to get to know the person and we are generally in complete agreement. However, once at a huge BDSM convention in Denver (ThunderInTheMountains), I was playing with a Dominant couple I know. After a pretty sever session with a single tail from the Dominant male, I was taken down and set in a chair facing into the middle of the room; panties around my ankles…knees spread. Okay…I am VERY private about my body. Naked is one thing…spread is quite another! I began sobbing and sobbing hard (I’m not a cryer) I was soooooooo embarrassed. The blindfold got soaked…I got the hiccups. The Domme friend came and whispered in my ear “You just endured such a beating…WHY are you crying over this?” She was incredulous. But…she didn’t let me move, instead slapped my thighs sharply with a crop! This was one of the worse ordeals I’ve ever been through. I care for these two very much…and enjoy playing with them (though we are not sexual together). I am submissive; they are dominant. Had I said no, or quit anytime during that ‘scene’…all would have been lost. I knew full well the Power Exchange would have been forever broken and quite possibly my own belief in my submissiveness. I am a ‘should-er’. I want to please those I submit to; MY determining what I deem important enough to do when told, would make me a poor submissive at best. As a new friend told me recently…sometimes one has to do things they don’t particularly enjoy…just for the amusement of the Dominant. I believe that. Oh…and that ordeal? It was also one of the hottest! ROFL …go figure Yup, I’d stand there till I could stand no longer; and then I’d sit on the spot where I was told to stay.

VvShadowspawnvV -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 7:53:22 PM)
Until a new order is given- or some emergency (ie, with the kids) makes it necessary. becca, who is chained to the bed at night and often faces the pee dilemma

piscess -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 8:02:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fastlane How long should one tolerate a particular command? In other words, put your hands forward, palms up...don't move until I come back. How long would you wait? In the Secretary, she peed herself without moving, could you be so serving and submissive? Just curious. I'm going to Pee as ?? waits with palms up...Tee hee hee, Thanks, Kevin Until He commanded me to stop or I passed out. I once remained on my knees at the side of his bed for 13 hours. (He fell asleep) piscess

Wulfchyld -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 8:06:12 PM)
Hmmm... lots of people seem to be knocking the secretary. I wonder if serial killers do the same about serial killer movies.

MistressLove999 -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 8:46:58 PM)
ahhhhhhh but, let's not forget in movies books etc. they have to over dramatize everything to get it to sell.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Toleration (5/15/2006 10:53:58 PM)
I'll go with the general consensus of the other "not so young" submissives here and say, as long as I possibly could without injuring myself. Many years ago, I belonged to a Domina who one time instructed me to drive her car into the city, pick up a couple of friends of hers and bring them back to her place. Before I left, she put a pair of alligator clips on my nipples and told me to keep them on until I got back. It got to the point where the pain was so distracting that it was effecting my ability to drive safely, so I took them off. She was highly displeased by that, which I could not understand. It was, after all, HER car I was driving. That's one of the reasons the relationship didn't last long.

feastie -> RE: Toleration (5/16/2006 4:01:27 AM)
I guess she preferred you to crash her car, potentially kill or maim you and her friends.

DavidS8ist -> RE: Toleration (5/16/2006 7:16:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse Whilst it is a fun little movie in some respects, there are several things where I agree it isn't a good model for D/s. The submission seeming to come from her emotional baggage <snip> Him being insecure and somewhat neurotic... and don't get me started on the brattish behaviour in order to get 'punished'. Hmmm, and you're saying there aren't tons of real-time submissive folks who don't pack their baggage in 18 wheelers, or domlydom-types in need of therapy??? LMAO, D.

Synocense -> RE: Toleration (5/16/2006 10:37:30 AM)
I agree wholeheartedly with your assessment of The Secretary. I, personally, will and have waited as long as I had to. It was not simple. It was hardly even due to my devotion to the relationship -- more a devotion to myself and what I believe in.

darq -> RE: Toleration (5/17/2006 2:48:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse Whilst it is a fun little movie in some respects, there are several things where I agree it isn't a good model for D/s. The submission seeming to come from her emotional baggage and being to some extent bracetted in the same 'box' as self-harm. Him being insecure and somewhat neurotic... and don't get me started on the brattish behaviour in order to get 'punished'. I'd say about 90 % of submissives have some kind of emotional baggage ... Baggage is part of life. If you want a 100% baggage free person, I suggest purchasing an infant clone, raising it in a bubble and then move into the bubble with it when its of age. But then you'd be bringing in your own baggage ... Hmm, yeah. Her self harm had nothing to do with her submission to him. Getting a spanking from your Dom doesn't feel anything like hurting yourself. The two feelings are so vastly different its not even funny. Self harm is not a submissive act. Its an act of control ... Taking control over yourself and taking control away from others. Submission is an act of giving that control to someone else. Complete opposites ... I've been harming myself for over 10 years now. When I have a Master or Daddy I stop ... Not because I'm told to stop but because the need to harm myself simply isn't there. I don't feel chaotic, therefore I don't feel the need to struggle for control. When I do not have a Master or Daddy its like all this chaos just builds up inside and around me and finally something will trigger me, an argument with my mother, being yelled at by a stranger, or even some percieved slight from another person, and I'll hurt myself ... Its not about the pain. Its about focusing on the act and the act itself, to hurt myself, to scar myself ... Its very primative ... But its like glaring at the world and saying, THIS IS MINE AND I'LL DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT WITH IT! Its not submissive in the slightest ... As far as him being neurotic. Uhm why? Because he had a hard time accepting the fact that wanting to spank girls wasn't a bad thing? Oh, right like you never once questioned yourself. At some point every one in this lifestyle questions it ... Not everyone battles themselves over it but everyone has at least a moment's pause. Again, human nature. Part of living in the real world ... Finally ... SOME dominants LIKE bratty behaviour and tiny little pranks. She put a worm in the mail and a dead bug on the bed. Neither act was some horrific thing ... She didn't embaress him, bring anyone else into it, or act obnoxiously bratty like I've seen some submissives do and then excuse it as PMS, menopause or bitchiness ...

dogobedience -> RE: Toleration (5/17/2006 4:22:01 PM)
First BOTH parties must separate FANTASY from REALITY. Then and only then can you and whomever is controlling you begin to live this fulfilling life. A skilled leader will know what level you can obtain.The leader should be able to lead/influence/push you to a higher level than you could otherwise . That is the simple beauty of a skilled leader and the one following.

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