Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

newbie needs good advise from D's


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> newbie needs good advise from D's Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 6:07:07 PM   
BendMeOverSir


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/14/2011
Status: offline 		Hi, i would like saying im very new to all this..
I met a guy that is 28 online last week n told me he could see i was submissive and he would like to have me as a Sub...

He has a female sub already that he has shown me pics of her red butt & all the stuff he uses on her in his sessions, like floggers,cuffs,canes and some other stuff hanging on his wall... I'm wondering if a guy wakes up one morning n tells himself in the mirror that he is gonna be a Dom from now on and goes out and gets books ro learn how to be one and then stops at a store to pick up his supplies and then tells others he is a Dom...

Thru our chats he will tell me he wants me to stand n remove my pants n panties to see if i can follow orders good. He is a nice guy n very easy to get along with..He will tell me to send him pics of me in different positions and stuff and i do it thinking i am learning how to be a sub...

He told the others in the room we was chatting with that he is teaching me how to be a good sub and one day he will train me as one...He knows i want to learn all i can of this lifestyle n be a good sub....

My ???'s are   How does he teach me in being a Sub vs. training me to be one  Isnt they both the same and isnt in person how its suppose to be done...

What is the difference in being a Sub vs. a Slave?

Does a Sub follow orders cause a D tells her to n he said if i dont he will take away my internet and i dont want losing it but isnt that how a slave is to be treated?

Shouldn't a Dom be trained and why is it he tells me he would never be a sub butg he loves ot doo ass play where his sub butt is beet red...I thought a Dom should make sure what he does on his sub is safe and that he would make sure by havin it done on himself to be sure...

I really need good advise being i know this is the site that will help me and lead me in the right direction..
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 6:30:19 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		How does he teach me in being a Sub vs. training me to be one Isnt they both the same and isnt in person how its suppose to be done...
I don't know about how it's "supposed to be done". But step back and think of it like any other training. In general, it will be successful if there are clearly established goals, some sort of testing methodology, and buy-in from teacher and student. After that, the long-distance part is only a problem if the curriculum presented requires proximity. You will find that "training" in the BDSM community doesn't usually mean "training". I mean let's be serious... did this guy teach you how to take your panties off? There is no "learn how to be a sub" unless you don't already know how to say "OK" when someone else says "Do this."

My advice on the training thing is take it with about 2 gajillion grains of salt.

What is the difference in being a Sub vs. a Slave?
Those words are used by different people to mean different things. So there's no way to tell you what the difference is. YOu might as well think of them as made-up words. If someone says "sub" to you, you need to ask, "What do you mean by that?" Ditto with "slave". In general, the term "slave" implies "more expansive control" going on. But given that different people are going to be thinking about different things when they think about what to control, it's almost impossible to compare any two relationships and say, "this one has more authority than that one".

Does a Sub follow orders cause a D tells her to n he said if i dont he will take away my internet and i dont want losing it but isnt that how a slave is to be treated?
People follow orders for whatever reasons they do. In Carol's case it's because "that's the way she's wired". You need to worry about why would YOU follow orders and WHO'S orders ought you be following?

Shouldn't a Dom be trained
You're starting somewhere. Don't the doms get to start somewhere too or must they be born with all the necessary skills and knowledge?

and why is it he tells me he would never be a sub butg he loves ot doo ass play where his sub butt is beet red...
some people separate out dom/sub from top/bottom. Carol and I are like that. I own Carol and she does everything I tell her to. I am very dominant in the relationship. In the bedroom however we're both more switchy. Sometimes she's on top, sometimes me. For life, we like me clearly in charge. For sex it's more "anything goes".

I thought a Dom should make sure what he does on his sub is safe and that he would make sure by havin it done on himself to be sure...
The safety thing is obvious. But seriously, you don't need to do something to yourself to find out if it's safe. Personal experience is just one piece of data.

I really need good advise being i know this is the site that will help me and lead me in the right direction..
Well, you'll get good advice here from a wide variety of different viewpoints. Just keep asking your questions.

Welcome
~Jeff

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to BendMeOverSir)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 6:37:04 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		I'm not a D, rather a submissive.  But I'll tell you that until you're owned, agreed to by both parties, then you belong to no one else but *you*.  He can't make you do anything on cam or send him pictures unless you're willing to do so.  He's a perfect stranger at this point and I'd say no go.  Those pics you're sending him can end up anywhere on the internet.  The cam you're using can be recorded at his end without your knowledge and once again disseminated on the 'net or for his own personal amusement. 

You're brand new at this, I'd say he's taking advantage of the situation and you're the one he's designated to see if you'll "obey" him and be a "good girl".  Sorry, but doesn't work that way in all instances.  He can't cut off your internet, unless you've agreed to let him pay for it.  It's still your time and your decision to make.  And why is all this taking place on the computer?  Does his own sub even know what he's up to?  Or are you his dirty lil secret? 

As for marking with a flogger or cane or whip or whatever, it's up to each submissive as to how much pain they can take and how easily they mark.  Everyone has a different point where stop means stop.  Your pain tolerance may not be as high in the beginning, it's something you build up to.

As for slave vs sub you'll find many who have different meanings for the two words.  You still don't know where you fit in.  I suggest you read the different forums, educate yourself on the web and buy some books on the subject.  Also get thee out to a munch, that's a gathering where like-minded folks meet, regular place, no fet wear allowed and you can discuss at length with people who live this in real life.  As opposed to this guy who says he's a Dom.  Just because you have the implements doesn't mean you're automatically a Dominant. 

My first Dom took advantage of my ignorance and it ended up in a royal mess.  I had to get the police involved, I was stalked, harassed and physically threatened.  It took my moving out of the city where I'd grown up to get him to leave me the hell alone.  Then he did me the favor of moving clear across the country.  He still tries to get to me once or twice a year through email on MSN until I finally told him last year that enough was ENOUGH!!  I let out everything he'd made me feel and what he'd done to me.  I was an emotional wreck and to this day some of what I did haunts me.  But that's my personal experience.  YMMV.  (Your Mileage May Vary).

Don't let him talk you into anything you don't feel comfortable with, it's your mind and body to do with as you please.  As much as he may say you're his, it's still online.  For some it works, for others it doesn't.  Decide if you want a relationship with someone who's already with someone else.  Do you want to be the 3rd in a relationship?  Are you ready for a poly situation?  Are you willing to share him with another female?  A lot of questions to ask yourself, but it needs to be done.

Don't worry about telling him you want to slow things down, if he throws a fit or tries too hard to change your mind, then you're well rid of him.  A Dominant must have control over his emotions and his actions before he can take care of a sub/slave.  Even moreso with a Master. 

Good luck in the future and never hesitate to question that with which you don't feel comfortable.  If he can't give you answers to your satisfaction, then walk away, no RUN like a bunny to the nearest hills.  You deserve someone who'll treat you with respect, courtesy, honesty.  Someone who'll show you to be trustworthy and transparent.  By the same token, this is what you also owe to the One who will one day be yours, if you should so decide to go that route. 


_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to BendMeOverSir)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 6:50:21 PM   
HisPet21


Posts: 395
Status: offline 		He will tell me to send him pics of me in different positions and stuff and i do it thinking i am learning how to be a sub...

I'm gonna stop here for a second and give my two cents. I don't know how new you may be to all this, so I'm just going to go ahead and make a few comments. First, don't ever do something strictly because "good subs are obedient." You're a human being, you have a life, you have worth, so you need to protect yourself. You should NEVER give pictures, especially face shots, to a self-proclaimed Dom just because you are a self proclaimed sub. Only give pics...if you must do so...to people you completely and totally trust. And even then, I'd hesitate. If a Dom tries to make you do something you are uncomfortable with just because "that's how you be a good sub" and "untrusting subs are bad" he isn't worth having. An intelligent Dom recognizes his sub's right to protect herself and will not be feel "put out" when he finds he must earn a sub's trust. Don't throw your trust to just anyone; it's too valuable for that. Not that you don't trust this guy, but the wording of your sentence compelled me to add this rant.

Does a Sub follow orders cause a D tells her to n he said if i dont he will take away my internet and i dont want losing it but isnt that how a slave is to be treated?

Whether or not people want to admit it, subs follow orders because they want to. This isn't a human trafficking site; all the M/s and D/s relationships here are consensual. Thus, the sub is agreeing to serve his/her dom. The sub submits because he/she wants to. Why the sub wants to submit will vary from person to person. It could be a desire to make a dom happy, it could be the sexual thrill, it could be attention, whatever. The point is that submission is a choice, and you should carefully ponder why you want to submit, and if you are happy with your reasons. Once you do so, you can better understand the relationship you want and actively seek it.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 7:05:08 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BendMeOverSir

Hi, i would like saying im very new to all this..


Hey... everyone starts somewhere.


quote:

I met a guy that is 28 online last week n told me he could see i was submissive and he would like to have me as a Sub...


He could "see" you in a bikini (which likely has more to do with what he's "seeing")... and as for him liking to "have you" as a sub -- don't you think that somewhat stupid?  What I mean is, if you met a guy "online" and he was ready to call you his girlfriend after just an online chat, wouldn't you find that weird -- even desperate?!!  The same applies to BDSM.  The problem is, when it comes to the Power Exchange dynamic, too many toss common sense out the window.  But KUDOS to you for coming here and asking questions.


quote:


He has a female sub already that he has shown me pics of her red butt & all the stuff he uses on her in his sessions, like floggers,cuffs,canes and some other stuff hanging on his wall...


You don't know if that's true... ask to TALK to her... on the phone.  My guess is you'll get some story about her either not being around, or that they broke up or something.

quote:

I'm wondering if a guy wakes up one morning n tells himself in the mirror that he is gonna be a Dom from now on and goes out and gets books ro learn how to be one and then stops at a store to pick up his supplies and then tells others he is a Dom...


Did you wake up one morning and decide you're submissive?  Not likely... it's probably just who you are.  Same thing.  As for "learning"?  Most learn through experience, just as vanilla people learn about "relationships" (and sex) through experience.


quote:

Thru our chats he will tell me he wants me to stand n remove my pants n panties to see if i can follow orders good.


Sorry... but that proves absolutely NOTHING.  He's just using said "test" to get your clothes off.  Period.  The next "test" to see if you can "follow orders good" will likely be sucking his cock.  Wanna bet on it?!!


quote:

He is a nice guy n very easy to get along with..He will tell me to send him pics of me in different positions and stuff and i do it thinking i am learning how to be a sub...


No... actually, you're just giving him "wank" material for him and his friends.  Sorry.


quote:

He told the others in the room we was chatting with that he is teaching me how to be a good sub and one day he will train me as one...He knows i want to learn all i can of this lifestyle n be a good sub....


It's great that you want to "learn" and all... but seriously, y'all are putting the kink cart before the horse.  If he was SERIOUS about owning you, he'd be leaving the kink shit on the back burner and getting to know YOU... as a person first.  He's not... so as "nice" as you think he is, from what you've described, he's likely NEVER trained a puppy, let alone a sub/girl -- and just getting off on the kink of it all.

quote:

My ???'s are   How does he teach me in being a Sub vs. training me to be one  Isnt they both the same and isnt in person how its suppose to be done...


Well... it starts with getting to know YOU first.  Why?  Because every person is DIFFERENT.  Thus, one size doesn't fit all.  All people have different interests/triggers.  So, look for the person that takes the time to get to know YOU... mentally/emotionally first, and physically second.  By getting to know YOU, that provides a MAP of sorts to training.

quote:


What is the difference in being a Sub vs. a Slave?


Everyone will likely have a different opinion.  In my opinion, the difference is MENTAL/EMOTIONAL... i.e., it's not about rights, limits, obedience, etc.  The difference, for me, is simply put as follows:

If her PRIMARY motivation for this dynamic comes from:

* HER pleasure in her submission, that's sub-wired

* Her OWNER's pleasure in her submission, that's slave-wired

Note: I'm absolutely NOT stating a "sub" does not seek to please her Dom, nor am I stating a "slave" does not receive pleasure from her submission/service -- it's simply where her PRIMARY focus and motivation for this dynamic comes from. And yes, while I'm sure there are those who both (i) identify as "sub", and (ii) may read the above and feel they fit my description of "slave-wired", my personal feeling is that far too many are simply afraid to self-identify as a "slave" because of all the goofy stuff on the internet about what a slave is supposed to be -- i.e., that said slave has no life, no career, is bound naked 24/7 in a cellar, has no limits, and similar nonsense.

But again, I know others view it differently... this is how I view it.


quote:

Does a Sub follow orders cause a D tells her to n he said if i dont he will take away my internet and i dont want losing it but isnt that how a slave is to be treated?


A sub (or slave) does as she's told because she WANTS to please her Dom/me (or Master/Mistress).  As to privilages being taken away?  In my opinion, that has NOTHING to do with whether one is a "sub" or a "slave"... it's simply a particular style of training -- one of negative reinforcement.  Some use negative reinforcement... some use positive reinforcement... some use a combination of both.  Again, this is the KEY to why it's so important for a Dom/me (or Master/Mistress) to FIRST learn about the person that's to be their sub/slave, and put the kink stuff on the back burner.  Your guy hasn't done that... so again, I'd guess you're being bullshitted about the alleged "experience" he's tellin' you he has.


quote:

Shouldn't a Dom be trained and why is it he tells me he would never be a sub but he loves to doo ass play where his sub butt is beet red... I thought a Dom should make sure what he does on his sub is safe and that he would make sure by havin it done on himself to be sure...


I think what you mean is "experienced", as opposed to "trained".  In a sense, yes... but not so much for something as mild as simply spanking your bottom (with his hand) and all.  I mean... sure... he should know where NOT to hit to ensure no damage to your spine and all... but really, it's more about just REALLY paying attention to (monitoring) them to ensure what's being done isn't too harsh.  To many newbie subs/slaves will often say NOTHING and end up paying the price for their silence -- so it's important that a RESPONSIBLE dominant closely monitor to ensure their sub/slave is not seriously hurt.


quote:


I really need good advise being i know this is the site that will help me and lead me in the right direction..


Well... hopefully this has been helpful?!! 






< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 6/14/2011 7:16:41 PM >

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to BendMeOverSir)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 7:05:18 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BendMeOverSir

Hi, i would like saying im very new to all this..
I met a guy that is 28 online last week n told me he could see i was submissive and he would like to have me as a Sub...

He has a female sub already that he has shown me pics of her red butt & all the stuff he uses on her in his sessions, like floggers,cuffs,canes and some other stuff hanging on his wall... I'm wondering if a guy wakes up one morning n tells himself in the mirror that he is gonna be a Dom from now on and goes out and gets books ro learn how to be one and then stops at a store to pick up his supplies and then tells others he is a Dom...

Thru our chats he will tell me he wants me to stand n remove my pants n panties to see if i can follow orders good. He is a nice guy n very easy to get along with..He will tell me to send him pics of me in different positions and stuff and i do it thinking i am learning how to be a sub...

He told the others in the room we was chatting with that he is teaching me how to be a good sub and one day he will train me as one...He knows i want to learn all i can of this lifestyle n be a good sub....

My ???'s are   How does he teach me in being a Sub vs. training me to be one  Isnt they both the same and isnt in person how its suppose to be done...

What is the difference in being a Sub vs. a Slave?

Does a Sub follow orders cause a D tells her to n he said if i dont he will take away my internet and i dont want losing it but isnt that how a slave is to be treated?

Shouldn't a Dom be trained and why is it he tells me he would never be a sub butg he loves ot doo ass play where his sub butt is beet red...I thought a Dom should make sure what he does on his sub is safe and that he would make sure by havin it done on himself to be sure...

I really need good advise being i know this is the site that will help me and lead me in the right direction..



oy vey.
I will be nice to the newbie.
I will be nice to the newbie.
I will be nice to the newbie.

_____________________________



(in reply to BendMeOverSir)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 7:06:17 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Please remember that any images that you send to strangers can be used on porn sites, etc etc etc, without your knowledge. Now, perhaps you do not care if you end up some gif on adult websites shaking your titties around for other people's profit, with none to you... but if you care, keep it in your mind that any sorts of video, cam play, or images can be taken and sent out in ways that may embarrass you or even keep you from some sort of professional goal you may have one day.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BendMeOverSir)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 7:07:33 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Thank you for saving Me the keystrokes, julia.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 7:20:51 PM   
soul2share


Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline 		Two words.....RED FLAGS!  If he's raising any, then listen to what your guts are telling you.  Both Poohbear and HisPet are giving you excellent advice.

I have learned (unfortunately) the hard way about a couple of things.  One, until YOU decide that you are ready to take on a relationship, be it for serious or just play partners, he has no say in anything you choose to do.  DO NOT just submit, be it online or not, just because he says he's a dom.  DO NOT play on any first or even second meeting.  Too many times I ended up being just a "quick kinky fuck" until I learned to use this rule.  Once you can recognize the difference between player and dom, then you can bend the rules...I have, and have been pleasantly surprised before.

DO NOT send photos unless you are truly sure about them not ending up all over the place.  A pissed off guy will do that in a heartbeat.  I don't post pics because of my career, and don't send 'em either.  I am more than the boobs, guys.  The fact he's showing them to you, with or without her consent gives me a reason to pause right there. 

As far as safety, only you are responsible for that.  Personally, until I am totally comfortable with a man, I don't use restraints.  If I have to move fast, I want to be able to.  If at any time, you have doubts about his knowledge of how to use an implement, then DON'T let him.  I have a couple of evil things that so far only one man has ever used, because I had no faith in the other partner I had.  I would have been more than happy to help him learn how to properly use the implements, but nope...he was a dom, he already knew everything.  I promptly set his ass straight...but it killed him that I had these "cool tools" and he couldn't use them.  I told him the stipulations, the choice was his.

The terms sub and slave are sometimes interchangeable.  As far as they meanings go for me, a slave has no rights, is usually only considered property, and a sub is a woman who seeks to serve.  I am in no way slave because I have limits that WILL be respected or I'm outta here.  Have you thought of your limits, hard and soft?  Everyone has them......decide what yours are, state them clearly an unequivocally, and STICK to them!  As for him taking anything away from you...honey, it's online.....what's he going to do?  I've never bought the whole online thing....hell, I've played the game before....do you know how easy it is to type anything someone wants to hear?  That's why I'm not big on messaging, altho it's a good place to start.  Gives you an idea of what might be on his mind.....if all he talks about is fucking you, how his cock is all hard just thinking about you, how much he already thinks you're a match......those are signs that I'm picking up on, and rolling my eyes at.  How can you possibly know me online?  I have a mind, and I'm not in this for all the kinky sex......it's actually secondary to what I'm seeking.

You've said you're new....take your time, and don't jump on the first dom who wants to take you under his wing.  There is a thing called sub frenzy, I've gone thru it when I was new to the lifestyle, and easily swayed or impressed.  Read the boards here, ask questions like you did here, and take the good info you can use to heart, and don't let the snark bother you.  (Snark is pretty much someone being an ass with a response....you'll recognize it!)  There are groups of great people here than are more than happy to answer questions or point you in directions that are helpful.  My inbox is open anytime.

Good luck, and welcome to the boards.  One word of warning, as you are perusing the boards, don't have anything liquid in your mouth.....either that, or keep the paper towels close by!  Replacing keyboards is a bitch! 

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to HisPet21)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 7:28:51 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Get a Dom who will be there in person. Not just online.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to soul2share)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 8:31:49 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		Where to begin? 'Training' you to take off your pants to see if you follow orders 'good' has little to do with domination and submission; it has a lot to do with using you for wank material!
D/s is not just about sex. This guy sounds like an immature horny net geek who has discovered the Internet can bring him instant gratification. And you are falling for it!
Are you a masochist? Are you aware that masochism does not necessarily equate to submission?
Do you have plans to meet face to face? Have these plans been postponed repeatedly because 'something came up' or no explanation at all?
You have choices; you need to figure out if you want to be a submissive or a slave. And until you both agree to anything, you own yourself. He has slapped a 'dom' label on his ass and wants you to learn stuff. Has he suggested books to read? Have you had conversations about what D/s means to each of you? You know what he wants, do you know what you want?
Anyone who starts talking about punishment for disobedience when they have not earned that right would raise a big fat RED FLAG to me. And if this has been on line only, how would he take away your Internet?????

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to BendMeOverSir)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 8:43:25 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		I come from a different attitude than the previous posts I've read. If it feels good do it calling it training is a stretch whatever works for the two of you is perfect. I'd be leery of sending pictures with my face for obvious reasons.

Have fun BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 8:46:55 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Get a Dom who will be there in person. Not just online.



I think it can be instructive to see if online play is arousing, and paying attention to what arouses us, and what doesn't. It can be a safe way to understand ourselves in the context of the BDSM lifestyle... as long as one is careful with their images, etc, and does not allow their head to be overcome by their hormones.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 9:05:50 PM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: soul2share

Two words.....RED FLAGS!  If he's raising any, then listen to what your guts are telling you.  Both Poohbear and HisPet are giving you excellent advice.



i couldnt agree more, i personally find more satisfaction with just being with someone I really care about... and we all have limits! if you
-cant- do something. or because you might not be ready to do something -you dont have to!- some people will say "i am a Master so you have to do what i say"

but the truth is I am my own Master until I make the choice to be someone else's. I decide who my Master is, as a Master decides who his submissive is.

good luck =) and have fun! --- fun's the most important part ;) (well for me lol)



_____________________________

bound by love,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIvvaqUdDm8

(in reply to soul2share)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 9:12:05 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		Get your kit off and have some fun if it works for you. Be careful and protect yourself while you do it. And finally do NOT forget that identifying as submissive does not mean you check your brain at the front door. Good luck to you.

(in reply to BendMeOverSir)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 9:37:39 PM   
BendMeOverSir


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/14/2011
Status: offline 		thank you

< Message edited by BendMeOverSir -- 6/14/2011 9:39:13 PM >

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/14/2011 9:43:00 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Oh Boy.....isn't there a school to train to be submissive or are you born with it??? Use a little sense before asking a question.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to BendMeOverSir)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/15/2011 6:39:14 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Oh Boy.....isn't there a school to train to be submissive or are you born with it??? Use a little sense before asking a question.

BadOne


This person is totally new... and asking question.  Respectfully, she should be applauded for that, not chastised for it.



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: newbie needs good advise from D's - 6/15/2011 9:21:15 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		is that a train whistle I hear???!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to BendMeOverSir)
Profile   Post #: 19
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> newbie needs good advise from D's Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109