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Sex as commodity - 6/14/2011 7:39:47 PM   
angelikaJ


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Status: offline 		There is another thead that seems to have been distracted by the theme of prostitution which i don't think was what the thread was about...  and so perhaps to get it back on track or perhaps just to start a new discussion...

I can see how sex is used as a commodity either knowingly or unknowingly in a lot of ways such as:

The first one that comes to mind is the obvious: "the oldest profession" but people also trade sex for security, sex for affection, sex for status or perceived fame... sex for love and as mentioned on the other thread: sex for trinkets and baubles.

Some people's experience is that men who spend a of time and especially money wooing a woman will have certain expectations, reasonable or not:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4tTzys6ABI

So, if you want to discuss prostitution or any other way sex is used as a commodity, maybe here is a better place for that discussion.

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/14/2011 7:42:36 PM   
mnottertail


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Status: offline 		sex as a commodity.  I dont like to talk out of school but there was this one time I was bidding on 5 tons of hog bellies or a blowjob............ 

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/14/2011 7:48:12 PM   
sexyred1


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Status: offline 		Yes, I just commented on how that thread seems to have derailed on this topic.

The world revolves around types of currencies. Like money, sex is a currency. It is not always related to love.

Whatever it is used for, securing relationships, as a job, it is definitely a commodity.

Obviously, sex is a factor in our celebrities, our politicians, our media, really, it does underpin most everything we do.




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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/14/2011 7:49:29 PM   
mnottertail


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Status: offline 		and rather than eat.........c'est la vie.

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 10:01:11 AM   
gungadin09


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Status: offline 		A woman trading her pussy for cash has the right to be treated like... a woman trading her pussy for cash, and not like a pile of shit. i might say the same thing (to a lesser extent) about waitresses, secretaries, and cashiers; many of whom are hired simply because they have a pussy, if not directly trading it's services for cash. i think people have the right not to be mistreated at work, regardless of their gender or profession, and they certainly have the right to complain about it if they are.

pam


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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 10:05:05 AM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

A woman trading her pussy for cash has the right to be treated like... a woman trading her pussy for cash, and not like a pile of shit. i might say the same thing (to a lesser extent) about waitresses, secretaries, and cashiers; many of whom are hired simply because they have a pussy, if not directly trading it's services for cash. i think people have the right not to be mistreated at work, regardless of their gender or profession, and they certainly have the right to complain about it if they are.

pam




This.

Many marriages and other, imagined romantic, relationships are, at their core, sex as a commodity.

It is not something I would want for someone I love, but it's there. No matter how the people involved pretty it up, and cover it in self denying wrappers.


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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 10:07:03 AM   
sexyred1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

A woman trading her pussy for cash has the right to be treated like... a woman trading her pussy for cash, and not like a pile of shit. i might say the same thing (to a lesser extent) about waitresses, secretaries, and cashiers; many of whom are hired simply because they have a pussy, if not directly trading it's services for cash. i think people have the right not to be mistreated at work, regardless of their gender or profession, and they certainly have the right to complain about it if they are.

pam




Of course, no argument here at all.

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 10:09:20 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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Status: offline 		agreeing with gungadin -- sometimes i watch crime shows or even crime stories in the news, and it makes me sad to see how easily people dismiss the bad things that happen to sex workers. prostitute murders go cold really fast, and it just seems like people say "well, she was kinda asking for it. oh well." and move on to stories about "more respectable people."
that's very sad.
while i would probably never visit or become a sex worker, the nature of their profession doesn't make them bad people, and the people who visit them aren't inherently bad for visiting them, either. people have all sorts of reasons they do what they do.

at the root of it, we're still animals who are motivated by chances to breed. =p if we redefine it and say "well now it's for recreation, and not just for procreation," we still just like to do it for fun. =p it's at the core of what motivates a lot of us to do a lot of what we do in the first place.


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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 10:24:14 AM   
HannahLynHeather


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Status: offline 		i tend to think that most of life is about sex. of course that may be because i've spent an inordinate amount of time fucking, but i don't think that's all there is to it.
in my experience, one can trade sex for anything. you often hear that sex is money, i think its the other way round. money is simply a sex substitute. sex was the original unit of barter. ever since the first hungry cavebabe figured it out.

<oog have mammoth meat, aga want mammoth meat. what aga can trade, aga have only dried berries. wait, oog like fuck, aga have cunt oog can fuck!> "oh oog, aga have proposal...."

and that's pretty much how it still works, just ask that babetacular secretary who types 12 words a minute.

< Message edited by HannahLynHeather -- 6/15/2011 10:25:09 AM >

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 10:35:23 AM   
angelikaJ


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Status: offline 		It is more acceptable for men to be driven by lust.


Often I think because of that women confuse lust with love; they think they are in love when in fact they are in lust... and how many times have women given men sex only when she thinks a man loves her.

But how many women give him sex because then she might keep him interested... and so they trade.


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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 11:03:27 AM   
lizi


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Status: offline 		I think sex as a business is a pretty matter of fact transaction and if people want to transact it doesn't bother me at all. I don't have any moral compunctions about professional exchanges. One thing that bothers me is if the sex provider is in the business but doesn't want to be. Another thing that could potentially bother me is if someone else is using the exchange to cheat on an unaware partner. There could be something else but other than those two scenarios people can have at it as far as I'm concerned.

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 11:13:57 AM   
LinnaeaBorealis


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Status: offline 		There are times that I just get so sick of the "dance", you know the one where we all pretend it's about something else than what it really is. I've met men with whom I only wanted sex & they got all weird because apparently that's not a very female way to act. In fact, my first was like that. He was older & had the goal to deflower as many young women as he could before he graduated from college. I liked his straightforwardness & honesty, so we entered into a relationship based solely on mutual sexual gratification when I was 17. When I became bored with it, I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. He didn't take it well. Apparently that's not how young recently deflowered women were supposed to react to him.

More recently, I met a hawt young man with a nice cock at a swinger party. He wanted to help me with my apt while I was in too much pain to do much myself & I wanted to fuck him as much as he wanted to fuck me, so we got together & the transaction was entered into. At a point, I became bored with him because there was too little of substance there. Plus I was in too much pain to have sex even. And he wanted to be in love with me. So I ended it because I was no longer interested in fucking him & didn't feel right about his helping me if I wasn't going to "pay" for his services.

I get the relationships that are based on trading one commodity for another. And when I'm meeting a new person, there is the dance, while we try to figure out just what our relationship is going to be based upon. So many times I've asked a man why he's done something & he's told me that he does that stuff because "women expect it." I suppose that we all do that, even me.

Right now, I don't feel like dancing except on an actual dance floor.

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 11:50:51 AM   
Hillwilliam


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Status: offline 		Am I the only one who wonders what the difference is between a woman who gives it up for a n hour for a hundred bucks and a woman who gives it up for years for a boob job, a new car and a lifestyle?

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 11:58:09 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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Status: offline 		i don't like that assessment because it assumes that any woman who marries someone of higher social status, and goes along with the perks of that new lifestyle is a prostitute. =p
if they have an arrangement specifically for sex in exchange for a new boob job, new car, a fancy lifestyle, then there isn't really a difference. but that's an assumption i don't want to waste time making about the motivations of people i don't know.


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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 12:07:01 PM   
gungadin09


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
agreeing with gungadin -- sometimes i watch crime shows or even crime stories in the news, and it makes me sad to see how easily people dismiss the bad things that happen to sex workers. prostitute murders go cold really fast, and it just seems like people say "well, she was kinda asking for it. oh well." and move on to stories about "more respectable people."


How many people who agree that sex workers have the *right* not to be treated like shit, that they have the *right* to complain when they are... how many people who say so would also say that it's *realistic* to think that they won't be?

ETA: i happen to believe both.

pam



< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 6/15/2011 12:11:59 PM >

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 12:08:12 PM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Am I the only one who wonders what the difference is between a woman who gives it up for a n hour for a hundred bucks and a woman who gives it up for years for a boob job, a new car and a lifestyle?


I've always been fascinated by people, relationships, and the motivations of people. Both conscious and subconscious.

I believe that MOST people believe they are marrying for love. Most. But, in observing people.......I think that we all have different measures of what makes a person a viable partner. For some, it just happens to be income and what that person will do for them with that income. If I wanted to over simplify, I could call it prostitution. The reality is, I think, that it's usually a lot more complex than that.


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 12:08:31 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


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From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline 		I didn't see that Hilly was saying that every woman who marries someone & ends up financially better off for it was doing it as a financial transaction. And of course it's not at all true. Some do, some don't. Some do & pretend it's about something else.

My sister married a man she loved & still loves nearly 50 years later & he has given her everything her little heart could have conceived of financially. But that's not the arrangement they have. The arrangement that they have is as loving life partners.

As for Hilly's question, I don't see any difference at all when that's the real reason for the exchange. I worked with a woman who was quite clear that she would only provide sexual pleasure to her husband if he provided her with cars & jewelry. And she wasn't kidding.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 12:09:17 PM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
agreeing with gungadin -- sometimes i watch crime shows or even crime stories in the news, and it makes me sad to see how easily people dismiss the bad things that happen to sex workers. prostitute murders go cold really fast, and it just seems like people say "well, she was kinda asking for it. oh well." and move on to stories about "more respectable people."


How many people who agree that sex workers have the *right* not to be treated like shit, that they have the *right* to complain when they are... how many people who say so would also say that it's *realistic* to think that they won't be?

pam


No, I do not believe it is realistic.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 12:20:41 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
agreeing with gungadin -- sometimes i watch crime shows or even crime stories in the news, and it makes me sad to see how easily people dismiss the bad things that happen to sex workers. prostitute murders go cold really fast, and it just seems like people say "well, she was kinda asking for it. oh well." and move on to stories about "more respectable people."


How many people who agree that sex workers have the *right* not to be treated like shit, that they have the *right* to complain when they are... how many people who say so would also say that it's *realistic* to think that they won't be?

ETA: i happen to believe both.

pam




Rights & reality are not necessarily compatible in my experience. One time I stopped my grown niece from walking right out in front of a moving car. Her response was, "But they have to stop, Auntie Lin." I explained that although the law states that they are *supposed* to stop, that doesn't equate to *have to*.

Same thing with our "rights". Just because I have the right to do or say something doesn't mean that I won't have to fight to be allowed to do or say it. In this case, the law is not on the side of the sex worker necessarily. And our culture does so love to blame the victim & does so in such subtle & blatant ways. Every time people realize that the way that they've been blaming the victim is no longer perceived as "cool", they come up with another way.

Forty years ago, I was a sex worker who was raped. I chose not to go to the police because I thought getting raped once in a night was enough. Last weekend, "Slut walks" were held all in a whole lot of places to bring the problem of blaming the victim to the forefront of our culture's consciousness. FORTY FUCKING YEARS LATER!!! And not much has changed.

Realistically, rights will not be honored without a fight.

< Message edited by LinnaeaBorealis -- 6/15/2011 12:22:26 PM >

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

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RE: Sex as commodity - 6/15/2011 1:24:08 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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Status: offline 		most people who've lived a normal life know enough about human nature to know that there are some scum-o'-the-earth types out there. i don't think it's realistic to say that sex workers won't be treated like shit, simply because they have the right not to be. on the contrary, it's more realistic to assume that they will be, due to the type of people that their lifestyle generally brings them into contact with.
but that likelihood doesn't negate the right.


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