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Vaginismus - 6/16/2011 5:31:54 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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has anyone undergone treatment for this? i've been looking for information on it but only getting really vague, general stuff.
it was suggested as a possible issue to me quite a while ago, but i didn't bother looking into it because i'd only heard about it as the most severe kind where your vagina literally won't open at all, or you can't insert even your finger. and honestly, sex has always been painful for me, but i didn't really mind. =p (and i'm completely and utterly free of disease, so i know that there's nothing like that causing the problem.)
but lately i think it's been actually getting worse, so i wanted to know if the treatments HAVE to be done with a fancy sex therapist (basically, do i absolutely have to go deal with a doctor about this?), or if i could just do something on my own to kind of take the edge off? 
i don't know what totally painless sex would even feel like, and honestly, i don't think i want to know. but i also don't want to get to the point where there's TOO much pain to do anything at all.


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RE: Vaginismus - 6/16/2011 2:47:21 PM   
bemyslut


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Before you assume the diagnosis, you should get a GYN to examine you completely and rule out other lesions that could contribute to painful intercourse (its not uncommon for women with an introverted cervix/uterus to experience painful intercourse--but again you would need to be examined to determine YOUR cause). Most often vaginismus stems from psychological/emotional issues; having said that, counseling could certainly benefit you. A GYN needs to exclude other causes of dyspareunia---there are more than STDs that cause it.

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RE: Vaginismus - 6/16/2011 6:56:58 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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i imagine if it was something with my cervix it would radiate from that area? but i suppose you're right, i probably should go to a doctor, at least initially. general dyspareunia seems to be used to discuss pain involving injuries or infections, and i don't have either of those. 

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RE: Vaginismus - 6/16/2011 7:09:54 PM   
orchid77


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You really should not treat anything you are not sure about. Go to the gynecologist. Have them check you out and be honest. I prefer going to a NP or APN they are more thorough and will spend the time with you to not only answer your concerns but to figure out what they hec is going on. Good luck.

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RE: Vaginismus - 6/16/2011 7:20:46 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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yeah i dont generally do the "asking medical advice from the innertubes? wha?" but i reeeealy don't enjoy doctors, so i figured i might as well. most of the treatment for vaginismus (thanks to someone who sent me a link) seems to be psychological/anxiety-related. it's possible that i've become so accustomed to pain that i expect it and tense up and make it worse. but yeah -- a trip to the doctor can't exactly hurt.
i like nurse-practitioners, especially because they're generally women.


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RE: Vaginismus - 6/16/2011 7:32:12 PM   
sexyred1


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Lilly, I am so sorry sex is painful for you; that should not be happening. :(

Definitely get yourself to a good gyno.

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RE: Vaginismus - 6/16/2011 7:43:23 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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it's not too terrible; i'm a masochist after all (i guess nature did a swell job with that one =p) just lately it seems to be becoming more intense i've had the snugness and the "ow. ow... ow♥" as long as i can remember, but not the "holy crap; okay wait" feeling.
it's confuddling; but then i remembered some old advice and thought there might actually be something to it. that advice came from another lady with similar issues, so... again, not a doctor, but yeah. i guess i should just suck it up and make an appointment. =p


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RE: Vaginismus - 6/16/2011 7:47:04 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


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Please make an appointment. I am an anti doctor person, any one who really knows me can tell you this, and I am saying: see a doctor.

Please.


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RE: Vaginismus - 6/18/2011 1:04:30 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


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LillyBoPeep, I have had to deal with vaginismus.  I am not a masochist and my body will punish me for causing pain THERE, lol.

Years ago when I was a little kid I used to grow together, (labial fusion?  Cannot remember for certain what it was called) and our medical card only paid for a family doctor to cut my labia minora open and stuff me with cotton.  I would scream every time I went pee and I seemed to grow back together within a week or two, when my urinating became difficult.  It took months before mom gave up and got a second full time job to be able to afford to take me to a specialist...all I needed was some hormone cream applied twice per day down there.  ;) 

I don't know why other women's bodies get all twitchy about vaginal or vulval pain and try to close up shop, with evil muscle spasms in the vagina that stops anything nice from happening.  I have a past history of abuse so maybe that has something to do with it as well.  Anyway, for whatever the reason my body started doing this to me...

It was with a fling around 17 or 18 years ago, who was also a friend of mine.  I know this sounds strange but I had a very bad reaction to his ejaculate.  We had condom problems at the time, breakage and sometimes them slipping off, and his ejaculate felt like liquid Draino.  I would swell almost shut and several hours later when we tried again...after a few different get togethers (my Depo shot had started working by then) we tried it bare because I wasn't sure if I was reacting to the spermicide or to the condom itself or to the lube, and had been experimenting to locate the problem.  Then we tried with nothing else added, just ourselves.  By then my body had had enough, and I had vaginal spasms so hard that when he withdrew to go back in, my body wouldn't allow it.  I was laying there snarling "OUCH DAMMIT" while he was wondering WTF was going on. 

When I had gone to my gyno, I didn't have the right words for what was happening and he didn't listen to me when I said I swelled shut and had muscle spasms THERE, so I deliberately provoked this and went to the doctor.  Drat, when he put his fingers inside no spasms hit to break his fingers off, lol, they hit after the speculum went in.  There I was screaming on that table while the doc and nurse just looked at me and said something about "I wonder why she is screaming".  The speculum stayed in while he did a pap and whatever.  <rolls eyes>

Yeah, I am self-diagnosed, but a vaginal muscle spasm is a vaginal muscle spasm.  A few years later, I had a one night stand with someone else I knew just to see if it would happen again.  I did not react to his ejaculate.  No pain, no swelling/congestion, no vaginismus.

I brought this up to my new gyn's nurse and she said that some women seem to have allergies to ejaculate, and that it could also be a ph problem.

It sounds like your vagina is tired of being a masochist and needs you get to the bottom of this problem...or "she" will solve it for you.

Find a doctor who will work with you on this, and cares about getting rid of the cause.  Yes, I plan to take my own advice sometime this year, as I have a new gyn.  Unfortunately he doesn't seem to listen any better than the last one did...but I will have to get stubborn and stare him down. 

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RE: Vaginismus - 6/18/2011 2:55:48 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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thanks for that post ^_^ i figured that it was always super severe to where you couldn't get ANYTHING in there, and i can put a finger or small vibrator in there, no problem, but something bigger = no dice (hence, i don't play with a lot of dildos; never have). someone else has to do it because i'll stop if it's too achy.
and it doesn't happen as strongly every single time, like you said, but this last time i played with the Top, it was probably the worst ever.

i have heard of people having allergies to ejaculate, or pH issues, though i've only ever used condoms (except during my last relationship) so i haven't had that experience (and hopefully won't!)

you may be right; my neighbor downstairs just might be tired of the masochism... oy...
i suppose we'll have to work it out.


< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 6/18/2011 2:58:48 PM >


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RE: Vaginismus - 6/18/2011 7:50:13 PM   
windchymes


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Based on what you described, LillyBo, another possibility is that your hymen is still intact. Some women's are just naturally thicker and attached to the vaginal opening more strongly than most women's and don't "break" when you have sex the first time. There are cases out there where the hymen has been completely intact, sealing off the entire opening where the women doesn't appear to menstruate.....it backs up behind it, and usually is discovered when a teenager hasn't started her periods after reaching the age of 15 or 16 and goes in for an exam.

If this is the case, then it's a simple little (so they say) numb & snip snip that the gyno can do in the office.

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RE: Vaginismus - 6/28/2011 5:10:58 AM   
notsopatient


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LilyBoPeep,

First, wowie--so sorry your body isn't cooperating with your wishes and that you have pain during vaginal sex.
Second--I think it's awsome that you are brave enough to post this querry here! I know lots of women won't talk about issues with body parts.

Third (and my main point)--Yes, of course, you should discuss this with a gyn. But the reality, at least the one I live in, is that often doctor types will have a limited understanding of the human body (esp. female ones) and if what you have going on isn't part of their understanding, they they blame you or dismiss you. I know many women who have gone to their doctor for various issues only to have the doctor just smile and shrug at the end. For many doctors, medicine is about statistics--they learn what works for most of the people most of the time. Doctors who will actually investigate Your body are less common but worth looking for. (This is much more difficult if you don't have health insurance, I have taken to making an appointment to meet with any new doctor, fee free, before doing exams)

I think that women have always known that there is a great deal of knowledge that we share with each other that doctors don't have or won't find unless we do the research for them. So, yeah, go see some doctors, but keep talking to other women!

good luck

NSP

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RE: Vaginismus - 6/28/2011 6:20:52 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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windchymes - that's something i've never really thought of. when i go snooping with a mirror it seems like it's gone, i don't think i had much of one when i first started looking either, but that's another story altogether.
but maybe there's some remnant of it? something to ponder

notsopatient - there is one doctor i know of who actually will go investigating, but he's a 6 hour drive away. =p i've pondered setting up an appointment with him next time i go, but... eh... it sounds silly but most doctors just make me feel creepy unless they're women. (he's also the only doctor who hasn't made me feel creepy. =p) and youre right -- they do look at you and shrug and say "well if it gets worse, just come back," while happily charging you a bajillion dollars an hour for doing nothing. i don't like that. =p i kinda feel like i'm in "shrug" territory at the moment.

i got some great info from people via C-mail though :)


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RE: Vaginismus - 6/28/2011 7:11:04 AM   
mnottertail


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Maybe you can get it drunk before you do it.  Sorta deaden the thing.

Are you sure that it isnt half psycho?   Is everybody well lubed and taking their time?  Cuz there are a couple reasons to consider both those queries.....

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RE: Vaginismus - 6/28/2011 4:13:32 PM   
PeonForHer


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Lilly,

I had a girlfriend, once, who had vaginismus throughout our relationship. I didn't really love her and I knew that she knew it.

We split up. Then she found a man who did love her, and the vaginismus ended. We were close enough for her to phone me to tell me all about it, in a state of heady excitement. She'd had the problem all her life, till she met this guy . . . .

It may not all be in the mind - there could be physiological problems - but I think that, in perhaps most cases, it *is* in the mind.

Moral of the story: You *must* feel right with the man you're with and you *cannot* BS yourself about your feelings towards any given man.

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RE: Vaginismus - 6/28/2011 5:14:53 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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that's an interesting angle, Peon. i'm not sure if that's it, but i do think it's mostly psychological for me.
i had the same issue even in my last relationship, and there was no question that i was happy and we loved each other there. but i think it might have something to do with things lurking around in my head, and even though i don't mind the pain at times, i've kinda come to expect it, so i might just be tensing up and making it worse. =p

mnottertail -- getting it drunk? haha, i don't know if that would work. =p haha


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