CynthiaWVirginia
Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
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LillyBoPeep, I have had to deal with vaginismus. I am not a masochist and my body will punish me for causing pain THERE, lol.
Years ago when I was a little kid I used to grow together, (labial fusion? Cannot remember for certain what it was called) and our medical card only paid for a family doctor to cut my labia minora open and stuff me with cotton. I would scream every time I went pee and I seemed to grow back together within a week or two, when my urinating became difficult. It took months before mom gave up and got a second full time job to be able to afford to take me to a specialist...all I needed was some hormone cream applied twice per day down there. ;)
I don't know why other women's bodies get all twitchy about vaginal or vulval pain and try to close up shop, with evil muscle spasms in the vagina that stops anything nice from happening. I have a past history of abuse so maybe that has something to do with it as well. Anyway, for whatever the reason my body started doing this to me...
It was with a fling around 17 or 18 years ago, who was also a friend of mine. I know this sounds strange but I had a very bad reaction to his ejaculate. We had condom problems at the time, breakage and sometimes them slipping off, and his ejaculate felt like liquid Draino. I would swell almost shut and several hours later when we tried again...after a few different get togethers (my Depo shot had started working by then) we tried it bare because I wasn't sure if I was reacting to the spermicide or to the condom itself or to the lube, and had been experimenting to locate the problem. Then we tried with nothing else added, just ourselves. By then my body had had enough, and I had vaginal spasms so hard that when he withdrew to go back in, my body wouldn't allow it. I was laying there snarling "OUCH DAMMIT" while he was wondering WTF was going on.
When I had gone to my gyno, I didn't have the right words for what was happening and he didn't listen to me when I said I swelled shut and had muscle spasms THERE, so I deliberately provoked this and went to the doctor. Drat, when he put his fingers inside no spasms hit to break his fingers off, lol, they hit after the speculum went in. There I was screaming on that table while the doc and nurse just looked at me and said something about "I wonder why she is screaming". The speculum stayed in while he did a pap and whatever. <rolls eyes>
Yeah, I am self-diagnosed, but a vaginal muscle spasm is a vaginal muscle spasm. A few years later, I had a one night stand with someone else I knew just to see if it would happen again. I did not react to his ejaculate. No pain, no swelling/congestion, no vaginismus.
I brought this up to my new gyn's nurse and she said that some women seem to have allergies to ejaculate, and that it could also be a ph problem.
It sounds like your vagina is tired of being a masochist and needs you get to the bottom of this problem...or "she" will solve it for you.
Find a doctor who will work with you on this, and cares about getting rid of the cause. Yes, I plan to take my own advice sometime this year, as I have a new gyn. Unfortunately he doesn't seem to listen any better than the last one did...but I will have to get stubborn and stare him down. 
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Vaginismus - 
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i've had the snugness and the "ow. ow... ow♥" as long as i can remember, but not the "holy crap; okay wait" feeling. 
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