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What do you think... - 5/15/2006 3:47:57 AM

Dustyn

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... connotates being dominant or submissive? Is it how you project yourself to others, how they perceive you, or a mixture of both?

Personally, I think it's a mix of all three. The portions of influence change from person to person, of course. Just wondering what y'all think about it? Or has this horse been beaten a few too many times already? LOL

If it has, just say so and I'll go read those posts...

- Dustyn

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RE: What do you think... - 5/15/2006 4:51:42 AM

RavenMuse

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Neither, Dominant is simply a big part of what and who I am.

Inside is where things realy count, what is 'projected' or percieved is mostly superficial. When I met the last girl I thought might have ended up in my collar, I couldn't have cared less what anyone else in the room percieved, what was in play was the sub inside her responding to the Dominance inside me and visa versa, that spark of the Dynamic said what we needed to know about the D/s side of things, the rest was getting to know her as a person.

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RE: What do you think... - 5/15/2006 5:13:11 AM

crouchingtigress

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From: Maui
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not to sound cheeky but in all honesty the only thing IMHO that makes a submissive is a willingness to submit projecting to others does not factor in.

And as for what makes a dominant, dominant, the willingness lead. teach, guide, steward, react, coach, discipline, assess, evaluate, set goals, boundaries and limitations for the one in their charge, again I dont think outward projecting to others has much to do with it.

As far as projecting outwardly goes, I guess the rule of thumb would be try not to be a pompous ass...be open to sugestions when folks offer them to you, dont get on a high horse and attempt to defend yourself....only makes you look silly.

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RE: What do you think... - 5/15/2006 6:53:19 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn

... connotates being dominant or submissive? Is it how you project yourself to others, how they perceive you, or a mixture of both?

Personally, I think it's a mix of all three. The portions of influence change from person to person, of course. Just wondering what y'all think about it? Or has this horse been beaten a few too many times already? LOL

I'd say that the personality traits are internal.

I'd also say that there is a big difference between someone who wants to be dominant or submissive and someone who simply has this personality.

Those who "want to" might do overt things like be bossy, raise their voice, or always volunteer to lead things. They tend to be pushy and aggressive or arrogant.

Those who "are" quickly discover they are approached to be the leader even if they'd prefer to relax for once. They may not be good followers but they can be good cruisers who walk in the mix but are clearly doing what needs to be done when they see that it needs to be done. These are the folks who can talk in a normal voice but people around them will quiet down to hear.

Similar situations for the submissive folks -- those who "want" tend to become a bit pushy or attempt to display the postures of submissive openly. Those who "are" are quiet volunteers or even sometimes leaders who focus on things running smoothly, they don't need the overt displays because they get pleasure from small services.

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