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RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/15/2011 5:42:46 PM   
Pteryx


Posts: 29
Joined: 7/14/2011
Status: offline 		My philosophy? I could go on and on, but my primary one on bdsm is simple: it's a kink, not a lifestyle.

yeah, you may say different, but not for me. I new here but have been reading a bit prior to coming on. I have read people's "rules" and "right and wrong" etc. I don't disagree, but if I tried to be that Dom 100% of the time I feel it would become caricature. I like smart women with many sides to their personality. smart women engage me and interest me. a woman who cannot be interesting beyond her sub side would not be someone I could spend much time with.

wait, that's not entirely true. heh.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/17/2011 7:34:58 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
I was left wondering if I have a BDSM philosophy?  I might have one, but it's just not something I think about enough to articulate.  If I do, it's probably more of a general philosophy that I apply equally to WIITWD and to vanilla aspects of my life. 
 

For me, this.

I do not compartmentalize my life. I have a life philosophy -- unarticulated but present. That philosophy applies to my entire life including my marriage and the way I own Carol. If, as it in fact has, my participation in WIITWD has brought up new "philosophy items" then they just get bolted onto the one single "life philosophy". They have not turned into any sort of BDSM philosophy.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/17/2011 2:25:52 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		What's your BDSM philosophy and how did you develop it/grow into it?



This is the easiest question ask on here in a long time. It the same one I have for life. "When it stops being fun Ill try something else." Yes ppl its really simple.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 7/17/2011 2:26:20 PM >

_____________________________

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/17/2011 2:39:36 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
Try living it.




I respect and support your views, but I'm not a black and white thinker so I will stick to living my many shades of gray instead.



Muttling, you missed the point. OF COURSE there are many many shades of gray. There are so many you can get lost in them instead of actually managing to fight your way out and make a decision a/o move forward.

Having a simplistic philosophy doesn't mean you don't see the many shades of gray, it means you realize life is about a forward progression. If it's not about that, then it's a backwards progression. B/c everything changes and nothing stays still. And if you are so busy contemplating the shades of gray you can't move forward, you are losing ground every damn second.

Again, I will say, try living my philosophy. Know yourself. Be true to yourself. Treat others as you would have them treat you.

Most seem to get pretty hung on on the first part.




_____________________________



(in reply to Muttling)
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RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/17/2011 5:15:50 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

What's your BDSM philosophy and how did you develop it/grow into it?

This is the easiest question ask on here in a long time. It the same one I have for life. "When it stops being fun Ill try something else." Yes ppl its really simple.

BadOne


Nothing wrong with that.  I do think there are some people who build an identity around their role and get so caught up in it they forget to have fun.  Sometimes those folks become so invested in the identity they can't seem to let it go when it's not enjoyable anymore.  It's good to be reminded that we're supposed to be enjoying the journey and, if we're not, it's ok to change things.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/17/2011 5:39:54 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pteryx

My philosophy? I could go on and on, but my primary one on bdsm is simple: it's a kink, not a lifestyle.

yeah, you may say different, but not for me. I new here but have been reading a bit prior to coming on. I have read people's "rules" and "right and wrong" etc. I don't disagree, but if I tried to be that Dom 100% of the time I feel it would become caricature. I like smart women with many sides to their personality. smart women engage me and interest me. a woman who cannot be interesting beyond her sub side would not be someone I could spend much time with.

wait, that's not entirely true. heh.


I'm smart. And engaging, if I do say so myself. (With the right person.) And when I'm in a D/s relationship, I am submissive to him 100% of the time. If it's not for you, of course, then it's not for you. But smart and being submissive 100% of the time aren't necessarily exclusive.

(in reply to Pteryx)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/17/2011 8:11:35 PM   
Palliata


Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

I've asked that question. There is no right or wrong answer, what I'm looking for is an articulate response showing some thought was put into it.



I almost always ask this question, and it's precisely for this reason. It's important to me that a person have a philosophical mind, be the sort of person who thinks about these things. It also offers people the chance to throw up red flags that say we're not going to be compatible before things go too far.

As to mine, my philosophy if BDSM, like my philosophy of life, is to seek beauty in all things. I see beauty in BDSM, in the interdependence and the dynamic, and I seek to draw that beauty out in my everyday interactions.


_____________________________

I speak not of The Way, but only My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

I'm male. I know it sounds female. Work with me.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/17/2011 8:31:05 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

What's your BDSM philosophy and how did you develop it/grow into it?



D-type says, s-type does... period -- developed via TPE M/s relationship/dynamic.



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/19/2011 4:13:47 AM   
0ldhen


Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline

Hmm......ok...my BDSM philosophy....;

Do what makes your knees shake, your dick hard and your pussy drip.......

The end..........

_____________________________

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't.

Za'beeta Regal, Et Vogo O' Lurwadra'd Wyka Go Abosh Inunsey.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/19/2011 4:27:05 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		BDSM is like a box o' chawclits and that's about all I have to say about that.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
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RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/19/2011 5:52:12 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

Life philosophy spans WIITWD.

One of my "hardest-to-follow" ethical principles is "Do not make others decisions for them."  Try doing that for a day - WILL knock you for a loop.  Jim- I'd like to go to lunch at XYZ cafe.  What do you think?  As opposed to Jim, let's go to XYZ cafe for lunch.

Basically it's let the other person ALWAYS have a face saving exit.

2nd ethical principle: Almost always use "I" statements.  Why?  Cuts down on defensive arguments....

3rd: Do NOT do unto others what you would NOT have them do to you.  Once upon a time, I saw Golden Rule translated from like 15 or 20 other languages / religions.  ONLY the one Christian on said : Do unto others what you had have done unto yourself.

I was struck by the fact of Christian missionaries are "out there" trying to convert others becasue they want to be Christians, therefore (obviously) others want to be Christian.

This thrid rule ties closely with first.

BDSM - WOW! negotiate what is going to happen = ALL three ruls, especially when you thrown in "safe words." Rule 3 is : YKINNMK = your kink is not necessarily my kink.
That sounds like a pretty sound set of rules, all Four reflect principles that tend to short circuit the tendency of humans to a.) institutionalize a thing, and b.) hide behind the "authority" of the institution they created, which almost immediately and invariably turns into strategies to avoid personal responsibility.

I agree with keeping it one on one, I have a problem with institutional authority, and any sentence that begins with the royal we is practically guaranteed to set me off, a consensus, even a real one, is not an automatic mandate, and there are some things that are simply not subject to referendum.

Ultimately, if I had to, I could boil it down to one principle: take responsibility for your own actions.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/19/2011 7:08:53 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
D-type says, s-type does... period -- developed via TPE M/s relationship/dynamic.

*chuckles* It's good to see that command and obedience hasn't fallen totally out of favor for those in authority transfer dynamics. I'd pretty much come to the conclusion that such things had been replaced by "slave's hearts" and whatnot.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/19/2011 9:11:48 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

BDSM is like a box o' chawclits and that's about all I have to say about that.




_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/28/2011 9:18:54 PM   
FearmyWhip55


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/8/2011
Status: offline 		I'm not sure if what he wants to know is about philosophy or about style.
There are different types of Domination style and different types of submissive style.
There are subs who want to be treated like sluts, doormats, and eager to be used in whatever way Master wishes. They are often more suited to brutal, narcissistic or sadistic Dom types but not necessarily a combination of all three.
There are subs who want to be treated like a princess and want to be cared for like a child. They are more suited to Daddy Dom types.
There are subs who are mostly vanilla, but like a domestic discipline style relationship.
Several more types and some are a cross-section of different types.
Knowing what a persons Domination style / submission style is essential in finding a good match beyond being a good socio-economic match as well as other factors such as education, where important to the seeker.
In addition to the above, factors such as monogamous or poly, amount of independence, being too jealous or overprotective and other such issues incorporate into an individual style.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/31/2011 12:29:53 AM   
SneakerWorship


Posts: 21
Joined: 6/23/2011
Status: offline
quote:

i'm also more compatible with people who can, for lack of a better word, be "normal" sometimes. =p being into BDSM doesn't mean i'm against cuddling, or going for walks or visiting a museum together, too. i view it as a way to build up a relationship, but with a more holistic view of mixing the "vanilla" and "kink" into "just what we do." it actually kinda bothers me to talk about it in a dualistic sense because i don't think of if that way in my own mind; it's all part of "life" to me.


This really resonated with me. When I am a wise old crone I'm certain I will have an articulate, even poetic BDSM philosophy, but for now it seems like trying to articulate how light refracts inside a gemstone... there are countless ways to create brilliance and fire. No cut is wholly perfect in a universal sense, everyone has different ideals -- and ideology. But it is nested into something greater, which is life.

Holly

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Got Philosophy? - 7/31/2011 8:25:06 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SneakerWorship
When I am a wise old crone I'm certain I will have an articulate, even poetic BDSM philosophy, but for now it seems like trying to articulate how light refracts inside a gemstone... there are countless ways to create brilliance and fire. No cut is wholly perfect in a universal sense, everyone has different ideals -- and ideology. But it is nested into something greater, which is life.


That was pretty darn poetic.  Just sayin.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to SneakerWorship)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Got Philosophy? - 8/1/2011 10:07:21 PM   
pollux


Posts: 657
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: SneakerWorship
When I am a wise old crone I'm certain I will have an articulate, even poetic BDSM philosophy, but for now it seems like trying to articulate how light refracts inside a gemstone... there are countless ways to create brilliance and fire. No cut is wholly perfect in a universal sense, everyone has different ideals -- and ideology. But it is nested into something greater, which is life.


That was pretty darn poetic.  Just sayin.


Yes, quite.


_____________________________

Oppressed by massive structural violence.

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Got Philosophy? - 8/2/2011 12:27:54 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: SneakerWorship
When I am a wise old crone I'm certain I will have an articulate, even poetic BDSM philosophy, but for now it seems like trying to articulate how light refracts inside a gemstone... there are countless ways to create brilliance and fire. No cut is wholly perfect in a universal sense, everyone has different ideals -- and ideology. But it is nested into something greater, which is life.


That was pretty darn poetic.  Just sayin.
  Yes and said absolutely nothing.  Christ, some people are easily amazed.


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Got Philosophy? - 8/4/2011 4:57:00 PM   
SneakerWorship


Posts: 21
Joined: 6/23/2011
Status: offline
quote:

Yes and said absolutely nothing. Christ, some people are easily amazed.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: SneakerWorship
When I am a wise old crone I'm certain I will have an articulate, even poetic BDSM philosophy, but for now it seems like trying to articulate how light refracts inside a gemstone... there are countless ways to create brilliance and fire. No cut is wholly perfect in a universal sense, everyone has different ideals -- and ideology. But it is nested into something greater, which is life.


That was pretty darn poetic.  Just sayin.
  Yes and said absolutely nothing.  Christ, some people are easily amazed.



I wouldn't say absolute. If you want clarification on the analogy, here goes. Submission/submissives has/have absolutes. Like the angle in which light will enter a stone. Different varieties of gemstones has different rates of refraction, right? So, a peridot will always refract light like any other peridot. But, because of the cut this can be used -- utilized, to create a play with light. So, domination is like being a lapidary -- cutting and forming a sub into a beautiful expression of you (the sub), and of themselves. There are also subs who are perfect in their own natural formations. Who should be appreciated in that natural beauty. My philosophy isn't absolutely nothing, it is an unarticulated notion of D/s ... No matter how many stones you carve or subs you collar, not one is ever exact. It's a combination of art and science.

It's a synergistic experience that embellishes life, just like a fucking gemstone. Come on, who can't figure that out? Says absolutely nothing my ass.

Holly

Holly

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Got Philosophy? - 8/4/2011 9:25:44 PM   
Vargus2


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/24/2010
Status: offline 		My philosophy, " Be Flexable!"

(in reply to SneakerWorship)
Profile   Post #: 60
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