Asshole

Asshole (Full Version)

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DeviantlyD -> Asshole (6/19/2011 11:16:19 PM)
This guy is flying down the road and he comes over a bridge. Sure enough, a cop with a radar gun is sitting on the other side of the bridge and pulls him over. The cop walks up to the guy's car and asks, "What's the hurry?" The guy says, "I'm late for work." "What do you do?" The guy responds, "Well, I'm a rectum stretcher." The cop says, "What? A rectum stretcher?" The guy says, "Yeah. I start with a finger, then work my way up to two fingers... eventually I get a hand in, then both hands, and I slowly stretch it until it's about six feet wide." The cop asks, "What do you do with a six-foot asshole?" "Well, you give him a radar gun and park him at the end of a bridge..."

Termyn8or -> RE: Asshole (6/20/2011 9:34:15 PM)
I can tellya that this technique will NOT help to talk your way out of a ticket. T^T

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: Asshole (6/21/2011 1:21:22 AM)
<<<--- smirks. **** M

richfrist -> RE: Asshole (6/23/2011 4:55:36 AM)
ROTFLMAO - I just got a ticket today for not wearing a seat belt. The $20 ticket will wind up costing me $142 here in Sonoma County --$20 is the base fine for the seat belt violation, Then there are these additional fees: –A 20 percent surcharge: Add $4. –State and county penalty assessments at $17 for every $10 of the base fine ($10 for the state, $7 for the county). Add $34. –Court facilities construction fund at $3 for every $10 of the base fine. Add $6. –State court construction penalty at $2 for every $10. Add $4. –State DNA program assessment at $1 for every $10. Add $2. –Additional DNA assessment at $1 for every $10. Add $2. –Night court fee at $1 per ticket. Add $1. –Emergency medical services assessment at $2 for every $10. Add $4. –Courthouse security fee at $30 per ticket. Add $30. –Criminal conviction assessment of $30 for a felony or misdemeanor and $35 for an infraction, which the seat belt violation is. Add $35. Total amount my ticket: will cost $142 . How is the this state in a financial crisis when it can collect $142 for a $20 ticket???

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