RE: Informing and Asking

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tazzygirl -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/21/2011 11:13:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl But isnt that what being passive aggressive is all about? Getting your way without actually saying what your way is? Perhaps it is passive aggressively manipulating to get what you want dishonestly? Not all passive aggression and manipulation involves lying. Most do, according to what I have read.

juliaoceania -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/21/2011 11:16:26 PM)
I think most of us do manipulate unknowingly before we become self aware... I cringe when I think back on myself as a teenage...yikes!

tazzygirl -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/21/2011 11:17:18 PM)
lol... me too... but I expect that out of a teenager. Most are self-centered, and are supposed to be that way at that age to a point.

agirl -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/21/2011 11:19:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: I can understand all of that. agirl.... who has so many things she ought to/ should/will probably be made to quit. And if you are like me it is kinda like whack-a-mole... you kick one habit, and then another one springs up That was funny Julia!!!( only because it's so close to the truth it singed my knickers) Personally, I think he doesn't attack them because he'd be facing a life-long task! And I'm SO on board with his choose your battles philosophy!! Only HE knows exactly what a rotten little bit of humanity I am ;) I think one every 3 years is do-able...:) (depending on the amount of duress and applied pain) Just to be clear......Force.( What? anyone thought I'd be happy about it OR willing?) agirl

juliaoceania -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/21/2011 11:22:51 PM)
I quit smoking 7 years ago, he wanted me to quit drinking like 3 months after I quit smoking. I clung to that coffee like a life preserver!

agirl -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/21/2011 11:38:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I quit smoking 7 years ago, he wanted me to quit drinking like 3 months after I quit smoking. I clung to that coffee like a life preserver! Giving up caffeine-free diet coke was a ridiculously angst ridden experience. Smoking probably should have been further up the line .....but he tends to make me quit the things I've been moaning about and has the biggest chance of success. Actually, to be totally fair, he makes me quit the things I REALLY want to quit.......and he makes me do the things I REALLY want to do........ There's a big chance that we'll both be all happy in those circs. I have far too many awful habits to bugger about with.......None of them affect him, so he really only gets militant when he can see I want it badly, but lack the whateverittakes to stay on the tram. agirl

agirl -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 12:25:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl But isnt that what being passive aggressive is all about? Getting your way without actually saying what your way is? Is it? Is saying that you're NOT prepared to, passive-aggressive. From what Julia posted, she was the opposite. She wasn't prepared to do it. He wanted something she wasn't prepared or ready to give up. She didn't want to quit coffee....and she didn't mess around the issue. agirl

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 7:06:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: That's why it's so bizarre when people assume micromanagement and therefore an inability to be an adult or to think. Just because some things are under tight control doesn't mean all things are. And even if they were, it has nothing to do with adult-ness or the capability of thinking. I see the propensity of it to be used in sadistic ways, which could be fun for some people.... lets face it though, most of us know how to use a toilet, so micromanagement even down to going potty has nothing to do with capacity[;)] yeah i don't really understand that, either. your relationship dynamic isn't generally a reflection of how "adult" you are, except i guess for people who don't see the need for it and who like to be snide. =p i don't assume micromanagement is instituted to deal with a slave who is lacking and can't fend for herself. i figure it's because both people involved enjoy a very high level of control. nothing more, nothing less.

juliaoceania -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 8:59:42 AM)
quote: Actually, to be totally fair, he makes me quit the things I REALLY want to quit.......and he makes me do the things I REALLY want to do........ There's a big chance that we'll both be all happy in those circs. That is the way the second relationship went... he pushed me to do the things I really wanted to do.

juliaoceania -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 9:02:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl But isnt that what being passive aggressive is all about? Getting your way without actually saying what your way is? Is it? Is saying that you're NOT prepared to, passive-aggressive. From what Julia posted, she was the opposite. She wasn't prepared to do it. He wanted something she wasn't prepared or ready to give up. She didn't want to quit coffee....and she didn't mess around the issue. agirl I did not think she was talking about me, but she was talking about the submissive referenced by the OP... If she was talking about me, my aggression is rarely the passive type!

juliaoceania -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 9:04:12 AM)
quote: your relationship dynamic isn't generally a reflection of how "adult" you are, except i guess for people who don't see the need for it and who like to be snide. =p There are some submissives that relish in not being "adult" and that is okay, too. I wish sometimes I could revert to childhood. Things were simple then, but it really isn't feasible for me....

tazzygirl -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 10:42:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl But isnt that what being passive aggressive is all about? Getting your way without actually saying what your way is? Is it? Is saying that you're NOT prepared to, passive-aggressive. From what Julia posted, she was the opposite. She wasn't prepared to do it. He wanted something she wasn't prepared or ready to give up. She didn't want to quit coffee....and she didn't mess around the issue. agirl I never once even implied I was referring to julia being passive agressive. I was speaking about the OP's girl.

tazzygirl -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 10:43:01 AM)
quote: If she was talking about me, my aggression is rarely the passive type! I would have never guessed!!! [8D] Passive in P&R never lasts. [;)]

LaTigresse -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 11:32:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Punkt When you text "It is so hot and I forgot my water at home." to your Master, do you expect him to understand that you would like to buy some drink? After you texted that, what if he didn't reply you back, what would you think? Would you think that he is not concerned about your needs even though you didn't ask him to buy a drink? I am going to give my answer before I read the thread... If someone texted me your example, I would simply take it as idle chatter. I may, or may not reply, depending upon what I was doing when I received the text. I may not even have known I got the text for hours.........considering I do have a life that does not involve me being glued to my phone, or visa versa. If the person was used that backassed way of asking permission for something it would fall flat. The bottom line........if the twit forgot her water I would expect her to find a god damned water faucet/drinking fountain/bottle of water and not bother me with the ridiculous asking in the first place!

NuevaVida -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 11:34:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: girl If you have to ask to do something that other people can manage perfectly well....can design, order, see to, sort out, is superbly wonderful with..... You are a bit lacking......... maybe not a BIG bit.....but enough to warrant all this micro-attention...insert a sort of eyes to the ceiling thing. agirl Touché

NuevaVida -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 11:39:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: I can understand all of that. agirl.... who has so many things she ought to/ should/will probably be made to quit. And if you are like me it is kinda like whack-a-mole... you kick one habit, and then another one springs up LOL I relate to that. He had me give up my beloved vino for lent. Come Easter, I had gained 3 pounds. He was perplexed, say he thought no wine would help with my weight loss. My response was, "I compensated."

juliaoceania -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 11:47:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl quote: If she was talking about me, my aggression is rarely the passive type! I would have never guessed!!! [8D] Passive in P&R never lasts. [;)] I dunno, some people are passively aggressive with their "leftist" routine...

LaTigresse -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 11:51:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: I can understand all of that. agirl.... who has so many things she ought to/ should/will probably be made to quit. And if you are like me it is kinda like whack-a-mole... you kick one habit, and then another one springs up LOL I relate to that. He had me give up my beloved vino for lent. Come Easter, I had gained 3 pounds. He was perplexed, say he thought no wine would help with my weight loss. My response was, "I compensated." Ohhhhhh how that made me laugh! Not AT you, but with you. Remembering when I quit smoking and went to a pool party. Instead of drink in one hand to sip and a smoke in the other........silly me decided red wine in one hand and white in another. Such a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddd idea.

juliaoceania -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 11:51:44 AM)
quote: LOL I relate to that. He had me give up my beloved vino for lent. Come Easter, I had gained 3 pounds. He was perplexed, say he thought no wine would help with my weight loss. My response was, "I compensated." I compensate a lot too....

NuevaVida -> RE: Informing and Asking (6/22/2011 12:24:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Ohhhhhh how that made me laugh! Not AT you, but with you. Remembering when I quit smoking and went to a pool party. Instead of drink in one hand to sip and a smoke in the other........silly me decided red wine in one hand and white in another. Such a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddd idea. Ha! Seriously though, I do that sort of thing, without even realizing it if I'm not paying attention. He took wine and red meat away when I was already dieting and had a good, albeit difficult, grasp on my intake. So it screwed me up. I was already on orgasm restriction, so something had to give. I compensated with vodka. And chocolate. [:D]

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