RE: DOM vs MAN

RE: DOM vs MAN (Full Version)

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CreativeDominant -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/15/2006 6:19:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bandit25 Well, I've had a man in charge, a dom and an owner. While I agree for the most part with what you've said CreativeDom, I wonder if some of the submissives you're talking about began to question themselves and what they wanted BECAUSE of the doms they picked. Yes, many times we have to do things we don't particulaly want, but it's always "easier" when one understands why. As we all know, there are doms who simply will not tolerate any questions. And for one who may be confused to begin with, a dom like that may very well get her to wondering if she is, in fact, submissive. I'm not one who believes that if one is submissive, she is submissive to all doms, but that's just me. I agree that there are many dominants that do not like questioning of any command they give. A submissive who is confused already is going to have a difficult time then with just such a dominant as you describe. I am a big believer in going over things from all angles so that a submissive knows what I think, why I want things a certain way, and why I expect certain commands to be followed without question. I love discussing all aspects of D/s, not only from other's points of view but my own views and those of the submissive. (I can refer you to several who will tell you how much I love to discuss things). However, that point is gotten to with, as noted, a lot of back and forth discourse. What I was referring to specifically are those who tell you how much they love submission, who've maybe been lucky enough to have dominants who asked little of them in pushing limits or asking of them things that are not generally considered when entering into the romance of a new D/s relationship and then, they hook up with a dominant who does push limits or who does expect you to do A even though you do not like A because he thinks it is for any of the reasons I cited earlier. At this point, for some, submission has just become harder. It is not all fun and games and romance. Again, this is not just me knocking submissives. As I noted originally, there are plenty of dominants looking for something that does not necessarily equate to submissive. But this post started out as a question about submissives.

piscess -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/15/2006 6:46:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dogobedience Are some of you simply looking for a MAN. As in being assertive, knowing what he wants, getting what he wants, and taking the lead in the bedroom? Getting this confused with what this lifestyle can offer in total? Not really wanting a dom but simply A MAN IN CHARGE? I am seeking a Man who knows when to dom. piscess

MistressSassy66 -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/15/2006 8:39:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dogobedience Are some of you simply looking for a MAN. As in being assertive, knowing what he wants, getting what he wants, and taking the lead in the bedroom? Getting this confused with what this lifestyle can offer in total? Not really wanting a dom but simply A MAN IN CHARGE? I have let a man be in charge in the past...notice the word past. Now I'm the Woman in charge, looking for men that do what I want. I dont think that I actually answered the question above so here goes...I dont want a Dom or man in charge.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/15/2006 8:45:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble I'm not looking for anyone, but if I was, it would be a Master who is also a man. Celeste Celeste, I'm heartbroken. I thought you also kind of liked bottoms who are also men.

BitaTruble -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/15/2006 9:18:52 PM)
quote: Celeste, I'm heartbroken. I thought you also kind of liked bottoms who are also men. Aw, Harry. You've confused me with a straight woman. ;) I'm not looking because I've got exactly what I want as both a slave to Himself and as a sadistic S/m Top. ;) I don't need to search for targets, hon.. they, literally, crawl out of the wood work. [:D] Masters, however, are much more difficult to locate. Celeste

tendergirl -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 2:08:01 AM)
My needs in total can only be met by a Dom. One who actually understands my absolute need for submission and bondage. I am not sure that a man in vanilla could ever understand my need for bondage. I am not just a woman looking for kinky sex. In bondage I feel whole and secure and happy. I also feel an absolute need to serve, please and meet a Dom's needs within the bdsm lifestyle. Not sure vanilla covers that. love from tendergirl

Quivver -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 3:19:12 AM)
Anyone can be assertive and know what they want and if they have the talent or ability they get it. As for kinky sex, that abounds, that's easy enough to see just by reading through CM. Possibly I am confused since what I seek in a Master is also that of a Man who must still function in this Vanilla world. Problem is I've met ~few~ men that inspire me through their actions in that Vanilla world for me to sit at their feet as ~their~ possession. Possibly our difference is simply a word or to in the definations between MAN and DOM, I dont know. The beauty of it is when we find what works for us. I wish you well.....................

feastie -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 3:25:30 AM)
Whoever said that the two are mutually exclusive of each other? There are plenty of doms out there that I would not consider to be men, not because they are doms, but because they are weak individuals who are playing at being doms. I'm greedy, I want someone who is both.

Bearlee -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 5:53:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feastie Whoever said that the two are mutually exclusive of each other? There are plenty of doms out there that I would not consider to be men, not because they are doms, but because they are weak individuals who are playing at being doms. I'm greedy, I want someone who is both. Exactly what I'd decided to say, feastie! Yup, I want a Dominant who is both a man AND in charge. A Dom not-in-charge is the one of hundreds I've met who play at BDSM and have no real interest in the Power Exchange. They want kinky sex...sometimes not in the bedroom. Parttime domdum; not for me, thank you. [:)]

wandersalone -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 5:55:51 AM)
In agreement with feastie and many others in this thread, I do not believe that dom and man are mutually exclusive. My life is not 100% d/s and I am pretty sure it never would be ... coughs, I would settle for even 1% d/s at the moment but that's a whole new thread... laughs. I am on a bdsm site because I know that vanilla relationships do not work for me but this doesn't mean that every man who is a dom is right for me. Maybe a little patience is required... or a lot! Dogobedience, it seems like you are wanting to speed up the process of meeting the slave you want, though this may be me misreading the questions you have asked on the forums. There are no easy ways to spot the perfect person and exactly what they seek from a profile, it takes time and a willingness to get to know someone. regards wanders

dogobedience -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 9:33:32 AM)
feastie...........you go girl!!!!!!! Yes, real doms are true leaders , well atleast at home( some may not have the skill to lead other MEN, at work, in play., or life) A dom who is not incharge always is simply acting a part, a part that only a weak OR NEW slave could accept!

Synocense -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 10:33:44 AM)
"Within a Man true to Himself lurks a Master"

sabswife -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 1:01:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feastie Whoever said that the two are mutually exclusive of each other? There are plenty of doms out there that I would not consider to be men, not because they are doms, but because they are weak individuals who are playing at being doms. I'm greedy, I want someone who is both. add me to that greedy list -- but i have found Him [:)]

LaTigresse -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 1:09:55 PM)
I tried looking for a man for a while, then......I found something waaaaaaaaaayyyy better! a WOMAN!!!!..[:D]

CanadianGuy -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 1:15:56 PM)
Your profile says you're looking for a girl who "needs a strong MAN, a DOM MALE". If I were a girl looking at your profile, I would get confused and probably click to the next. This thread makes it seem like you're saying "man" and "dom" aren't the same thing, but your profile says you want a girl who needs a man/dom. [>:] Myself, I think it's semantics. I'm obviously a man, and I'm obviously dominant. I don't think the two are necessarily mutually exclusive, nor does being one guarantee being the other. It's like comparing "fruit" to "a raddish". One's a category, the other's a type of item in a different category.

bondagemastertj -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 1:48:35 PM)
the thing I have the most trouble with are the females who dont know what they want and wont tell you. It makes it hard sometimes for a man who does not practice any doctrine other than the one handed to him by a Master when I was an apprentice. I understand I open Myself up for ridicule when I say this, but I am always 100 per cent honest with potential subs. My subs do not even live with Me, but rather live a nice 'hidden' life for those whose folks wouldnt understand. Its sometimes a complicated line to walk between Dom and Man, but it has been My experience that most females would rather have a strong man as opposed to a Dom. and then there are some that cant tell the difference

CreativeDominant -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 5:43:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dogobedience feastie...........you go girl!!!!!!! Yes, real doms are true leaders , well atleast at home( some may not have the skill to lead other MEN, at work, in play., or life) A dom who is not incharge always is simply acting a part, a part that only a weak OR NEW slave could accept! But it doesn't take that much skill to lead a WOMAN? If a real dominant is a true leader, always in charge, then why would he/she not have the skills to lead others at work, in play, and in life? (Maybe because some choose to lead in their workplace and give over of themselves outside of it? And vice-versa?) I'm sorry but most of the dominants I have met (and I know I have not met them all) seem to display dominant, leadership-like traits most of the time. It may only be in one or two things or it may be in all things, depending on the situation, but that has been my experience. Your paragraph above is confusing.

Reflectivesoul -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 5:51:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant But it doesn't take that much skill to lead a WOMAN? CD, You are awesome! Thanks for that post, I've been itchin to say something but I wanted to see if any of the Doms would first..... ~RS~

feastie -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 6:57:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dogobedience feastie...........you go girl!!!!!!! Yes, real doms are true leaders , well atleast at home( some may not have the skill to lead other MEN, at work, in play., or life) A dom who is not incharge always is simply acting a part, a part that only a weak OR NEW slave could accept! So, are you saying that it takes no skill to lead a woman? Or that a new slave isn't smart enough to recognize an idiot when she sees one? You know, a man may not have a job where he is the top dog, he may be the low man on the totem pole. But, if his colleagues admire and respect him, then he is a leader of men, isn't he?

Sinergy -> RE: DOM vs MAN (5/16/2006 7:03:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul But is it possible that maybe you are attracting the wrong kind of people because your threads could be looked at as whining? I am not sure I am attracting the "wrong kind of people" because of the idiotic postings I make on an internet message board. I post on this site and it's message boards to share opinions about a subject we are all involved in, not necessarily to meet somebody. As far as whining, I have plenty of cheese and crackers, so I suspect I will be fine. The best cheese for whining is room temperature Brie, which should be eaten with a freshly baked baguette. Sinergy

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