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As a switch - 5/15/2006 6:14:45 PM   
Eir


Posts: 118
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline 		I have often been asked here in Iceland how in the world I can be with another switch... Doms mainly ask me that question because they don't understand this factor.
When I am asked this question the following usually comes "How in the world can you submit to someone that's been crawling on the floor before you, doing whatever comes to your mind?" I found it hard in the begining answering this question but the answer is rather clear now days...

I have someone in my life that's also a switch though he is more submissive but because we are both switches we have been playing both ways with each other, he knows me and knows what I am thinking... that's at least good :P
When I started playing with him it was hard, I was ALWAYS the Dominant one and my submissive side was REALLY craving for a good spanking, I decided to sit down with him and explain myself and what I was about better and after that we have never had a problem, one evening I can start by being a dom and end up as the sub... I LOVE IT!

About the question I found hard to answer... the answer I give to them is "How can you have any respect for someone that's been crawling before your feet... isn't a dom suppose to respect his/her sub and vice versa?" Always makes them shake their head and change the subject now days...

But I am thinking about asking a little question... "How in the world can you submit to someone that's been crawling on the floor before you, doing whatever comes to your mind?" If you have not been in the situation then imagion yourself in it :)

Care. Eir
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: As a switch - 5/15/2006 6:19:05 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		First off, someone who doesn't see how you can respect someone who crawls on the floor seems to be someone who doesn't respect submissives in general, and frankly that's not someone I'd really care to talk with anyway.

Secondly, I don't respect someone because they do or don't do a particular kink.  I don't respect someone based on their relationship orientation.  I don't respect dominants because someone's giving them "yes sir" all the time.

I respect people for who they are and their personal connection to ME.  My local partner loves me when he crawls for me and loves me when he orders me to bark.  Why on earth would I lose respect for someone who is true to himself and blesses me every day we're together?

Give me that over some dork dom who thinks crawling on the floor is a reason to lose respect ANy day.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Eir)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: As a switch - 5/15/2006 6:20:41 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		My question for the doms you have been speaking to is this Don't they respect their submissives even if they have been crawling on the floor???? Im sorry, but that struck me the wrong way.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Eir)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: As a switch - 5/15/2006 6:23:03 PM   
Eir


Posts: 118
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

My question for the doms you have been speaking to is this Don't they respect their submissives even if they have been crawling on the floor???? Im sorry, but that struck me the wrong way.


This is what is pissing me off, aren't doms suppose to respect their subs?! Even as a sub I WANT my share of respect!

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: As a switch - 5/15/2006 6:32:39 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Eir

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

My question for the doms you have been speaking to is this Don't they respect their submissives even if they have been crawling on the floor???? Im sorry, but that struck me the wrong way.


This is what is pissing me off, aren't doms suppose to respect their subs?! Even as a sub I WANT my share of respect!

They should but not all do. Alot of them look as subs as inferior beings who were put upon this Earth to do their bidding and for their pleasure and nothing more then that.

I am a Domme and a switch, my boyfriend is an ex- Master turned switch and we both love it. How can I respect someone that crawls before me? Easily, I respect him as a human being, as a man and the person that I love and adore. He would tell you the same thing.

Not everyone who calls themself a Dominant deserves to carry the title.

~Lashra

(in reply to Eir)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: As a switch - 5/15/2006 6:32:47 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Before I get on my knees I will feel that respect coming my way or that dom could just go f*** himself... thats my opinion...lol. I tend to ask a lot of questions that help me determine whether or not a dom loves subs or just wants to use us. If a dom just wants to use you it becomes pretty apparent rather quickly if you listen to them.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Eir)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: As a switch - 5/15/2006 6:34:40 PM   
Eir


Posts: 118
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

quote:

ORIGINAL: Eir

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

My question for the doms you have been speaking to is this Don't they respect their submissives even if they have been crawling on the floor???? Im sorry, but that struck me the wrong way.


This is what is pissing me off, aren't doms suppose to respect their subs?! Even as a sub I WANT my share of respect!

They should but not all do. Alot of them look as subs as inferior beings who were put upon this Earth to do their bidding and for their pleasure and nothing more then that.

I am a Domme and a switch, my boyfriend is an ex- Master turned switch and we both love it. How can I respect someone that crawls before me? Easily, I respect him as a human being, as a man and the person that I love and adore. He would tell you the same thing.

Not everyone who calls themself a Dominant deserves to carry the title.

~Lashra


I bow befor you!

This what I think, the one I am dating was SUBMISSIVE but turned switch... he's kinda discovering his Dominant side :)

_____________________________

With best regards from the dark corners of my twisted mind

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: As a switch - 5/15/2006 6:36:17 PM   
Eir


Posts: 118
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline 		So true. It kinda gives Doms a bad name that some are COMPLETE idiots!

Anyways... I should keep on working this F*cking nightshift *yawns*

_____________________________

With best regards from the dark corners of my twisted mind

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: As a switch - 5/15/2006 6:53:25 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		As a switch  who is also very much owned I don't think I would loose respect for Phoenix if he choose to switch and become submissive with me. However, in all honesty it would take some getting used to within our dynamics.
 
I know that he respects me as a person and in ways even more because I am submissive to him. Why? Simple he sees it is not always easy to put him first. It is not always easy to give him the control but I do. It is not hard to be tactful but I work at it daily.
 
I know he enjoys me at his feet. Why? Otherwise he would not ask me to be there.
 
Now if the time ever came where it was obvious he did not respect me because I was at his feet, or putting him before myself than I would personally have to reevaluate my life choices. To me a dominate cherishes what is his, protect what is his, and guides what is his. How can you do those things if you don't respect them as human and as yours?
 
Blessed Be,
Phoenix's Nika

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to Eir)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: As a switch - 5/15/2006 9:06:36 PM   
Eir


Posts: 118
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline 		Good point

_____________________________

With best regards from the dark corners of my twisted mind

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: As a switch - 5/15/2006 11:04:39 PM   
xavoc


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Relationship dynamics are what they are.  It really depends upon your particular kink I suppose.

Personally my relationships are based upon trust, mutual admiration, and respect.  For others it is simply another thing for them to grind beneath the heel of their boot.  I have yet to figure out what another person's expectations of BDSM, related play, or even lifestyle choices have to do with what I enjoy and choose to share with my submissive.

Does not respecting your submissive make you more extreme, or simply abusive?  Again that answer lies between the dom and sub involved.

(in reply to Eir)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: As a switch - 5/15/2006 11:14:00 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Respect is an intangible concept that is entirely too often correlated to the same solidity as a birthday cake, all cut up and ready to hand out to the guests.

Respect is an intellectually based emotion that is earned and given in equal amounts, or at least it should for those that are willing to examine their universe and how it intersects with other peoples' universes.

In other words, just tell them to piss off because you will respect who you want to, not who they think you should based on their own values and requirements, because most likely, their's are not even remotely similar to yours.  Most people don't grasp my convoluted concepts of respect and honor, but as long as I understand them, that is truly all that matters, since the only person that I should ever have to explain anything to at the end of the day is myself.

Again, though, that is just me.

- Dustyn


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to xavoc)
Profile   Post #: 12
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