RE: Fibro, school, house of 6

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6

Page: << < prev 28 29 [30] 31 32 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/8/2011 7:41:55 PM

imperatrixx

Posts: 903
Joined: 3/29/2011
Status: offline

Yeah, I've seen enough about codependent and abusive relationships that they can feed off each other for decades.

But I still think that for a woman in a relationship like this, who has shockingly low self esteem and emotional problems that cause her to stay, if she does say she wants to leave that man it's better to say "good for you" even if you have to say it twenty times once a month, than "whatever, you're pathetic, you know you won't leave."

In a way focusing on how many problems she has reinforces her idea that this man is the best she can get, the best she deserves. and believe me, I'll be the first to say that the internet is not designed to be a theraputic hugbox. i'll call out a lot of stuff but when there's a breakthrough like this, when you have 29 pages of trying to convince a woman how awful the guy is for her and after so much defending him she finally snaps and sees it, that's not the time to point out her flaws.

imo etc etc

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 581

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/8/2011 7:53:52 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

You don't have prior experience of the Tammy & Art Roadshow, do you?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to imperatrixx)

Post #: 582

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/8/2011 8:03:38 PM

imperatrixx

Posts: 903
Joined: 3/29/2011
Status: offline

I'm vaguely familiar with them.

I still hope she does leave him though. She has children to think about. The sooner she leaves him the sooner she can get off CM forums and onto a parenting forum, where she might get some advice while they're still adolescents and things can change.

Nobody is completely hopeless.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 583

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/8/2011 8:13:36 PM

LinnaeaBorealis

Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline

I agree with you, imperatrixx, that nobody is hopeless. I've seen miracles happen. I think that we would all hope that a miracle would happen for this woman, because she desperately needs one. But I also think that some of us get kinda tired of hearing the same old shit over & over.

I had an abusive husband & I complained & left & went back & must have driven my friends bat-shit. Eventually I came to my senses & left for good. So I do know that it can happen. I also think that some of us are tired of hoping that something will happen, that she will have that aha moment & actually do something about it. She may or she may not. Who even knows that their relationship is as abusive as it's painted here in the forums?? Or maybe she's actually the abusive one. I don't know her personally & I doubt that we will ever meet. But my feelings of frustration when women ask for help repeatedly & keep going back into the bad situation are what kept me from working with abused women. I am not capable of not feeling frustrated. So I leave that kind of work to others who can do it. I am very very good working with old, ill, dying or all of the above type people. So that's what I do.

I don't think that you should be too harsh on the people here who've pretty much had it up to here with these two. It's the internet. People say lots of things whether we approve of them or not.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

(in reply to imperatrixx)

Post #: 584

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/8/2011 8:28:01 PM

imperatrixx

Posts: 903
Joined: 3/29/2011
Status: offline

haha so true.

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)

Post #: 585

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/8/2011 8:31:32 PM

AlwaysLisa

Posts: 1088
Joined: 10/6/2006
From: Washington State
Status: offline

It's the "boy who cried wolf" syndrome.

I think everyone has pity, sympathy and general well wishes for these two, but after all the lies, it chips away at the desire to help.

When things are discovered, or left out, or flat out misleading...it causes most to throw up their hands and walk away. Whats that saying..."shame me once, shame on you, shame me twice, shame on me.".   You don't know if what your reading is fact or fiction.

Look at all the suggestions that have been given, and still, she asks what her options are? How many times can you type out responses, the same, exact responses, knowing they are not being comprehended?   I said it before, those who want help, find it. Those who don't, wallow and suck others into the mud with them.

I feel for Tammy, I really do.   She made a choice and for whatever reason, it's not panning out. She is worried about the future, her kids, finances, thats not a light load.   I wish her the best of luck, whatever is decided, I think she will need it. She also needs to contact people who can help her, not many on this forum can, but if she would take the initiative, she would find org's in her area that can provide shelter, food, medical and get her on her feet.

I hope this is not another dog and pony show, and I know several posters are reaching out and giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe this time is for real.

_____________________________

Just an old flower child, trying to survive in today's chaos and confusion.

(in reply to imperatrixx)

Post #: 586

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/8/2011 9:37:33 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

This whole thing has reached a new level of being pathetic. I am completely unfamiliar with the history of these two, and my opinion is from this post alone.

She was studying for her Masters in nursing to become a nurse who does anethesia. That means she has at the very least a Bachelor's in nursing. Yet she talks over and over...and over about how she worries about being able to support herself and her kids. Last I checked, while nursing was damn hard work, there were a lot of nursing jobs out there. Not only that, but there are so many fields in nursing that she could easily find something that worked within the limits of her illness.

But she is going to school to be a massage therapist now? Yea, ok, that makes complete sense. Art talks earlier about how he goes to the school and has to pay the school for her to give him a deep tissue massage. If she has RA, I can't imagine this being a viable career. I have degenerative arthitis in essentially every joint in my body and I can't even open a jar or a bottle of beer most days. Massages are totally beyond my pain limits.

I know I'm not the only one who perved the profiles of these two. According to Art's journal they have time to go to the club and time to play. Sorry, but if you are suffering from frequent, chronic migraines along with the pain, you ain't going somewhere to get tied up and whipped. ESPECIALLY when you are too ill to take care of anything in the house.

The amount of time they both take to respond to this post, or others is time they could be working on the things at home.

We have this cryptic message about her not being able to divulge who the "leader" is. Really? As if that didn't give it away completely.

Like many others here, I have fibro and other illnesses that make me live with pain everyday. The "rude" and "unfriendly" responses aren't because any of us lack compassion, it is because this fool and her fuckwit "master" have no desire to fix the problem. It is because if you are in so much pain you can't function in your day to day life, you either do something about it or shut the fuck up.

I hope that someday she gets bothered enough to realize that she can function without a man in her life when it interferes so much with her kids and her illness. Alternately, it would be great if Art decided he just didn't want to deal with her anymore and kicked her and her kids to the curb.

Not for nothing, but she gets $850 a month in SSD and lives in Tennesee. I just checked Craig's List in Memphis (a more expensive area) and there are plenty of 3 bedrooms for $500-700 a month there, so saying she can't afford it is total bullshit.

This whole mess is a bunch of bullshit. It's nothing more than two people who are completely unmatched and miserable but too afraid of being alone to be useful to anyone.

(in reply to AlwaysLisa)

Post #: 587

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/8/2011 9:41:41 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: imperatrixx

I'm vaguely familiar with them.

I still hope she does leave him though. She has children to think about. The sooner she leaves him the sooner she can get off CM forums and onto a parenting forum, where she might get some advice while they're still adolescents and things can change.

Nobody is completely hopeless.

Wow. I didn't know that the two were mutually exclusive. Seems to me that she got a lot of cold hard facts on this thread - the same (or better) than she would get on a parenting thread without having to explain the whole submissive stuff.

Having seen a number of people who work in the fields that are relevant - medical, psych, social services - I can't imagine she'd get anything better than she got here.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to imperatrixx)

Post #: 588

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/9/2011 1:58:49 AM

blacksword404

Posts: 2068
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

I would think that a toothless woman who loves to give blowjobs would top that, no?

Had one of those before. I'm going to have to agree.

_____________________________

Don't fight him. Embrace your inner asshole.

Tu fellas magnus penum meum...iterum

Genuine catnip/kryptonite.
Ego sum erus.

The capacity to learn is a gift, the ability to learn a skill, the willingness to learn a choice. Dune HH

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 589

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/9/2011 5:28:38 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
She was studying for her Masters in nursing to become a nurse who does anethesia. That means she has at the very least a Bachelor's in nursing.

Glad to hear that this is the same in the US as it is over here...and therefore then pretty much shows how likely she actually is studying nursing-anesthesia-whatever....

quote:

It is because if you are in so much pain you can't function in your day to day life, you either do something about it or shut the fuck up.

Very well said

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 590

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/9/2011 5:31:28 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

no im not saying that , the masters was to go on to be a nurse (god i cant spell it) anathesiaologist. i would have my own hours etc.

You really, seriously think you would be able to just make your own hours? Since Nurse Anesthesiologists tend to work in hospitals, how do you figure that?

presumably in tammy land the nurse anesthesiologists are the ones who decide the schedule of who get into the operating area at what time and day

My perverted mind actually found the comment about making their own hours hilariously funny. The road I went down was anesthetizing a patient and keeping the asleep until you took care of all your other business didn't wake them up until you were damn good and ready to wake them up......

But it was just a fleeting thought...I crack myself up with them all the time.....

*Shudder*

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 591

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/9/2011 5:36:28 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksword404

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

I would think that a toothless woman who loves to give blowjobs would top that, no?

Had one of those before. I'm going to have to agree.

Well you know what they say, once you go toothless you never go back.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to blacksword404)

Post #: 592

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/9/2011 6:47:14 AM

blacksword404

Posts: 2068
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksword404

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

I would think that a toothless woman who loves to give blowjobs would top that, no?

Had one of those before. I'm going to have to agree.

Well you know what they say, once you go toothless you never go back.

Oh I don't know. There are some women with their teeth that are so good you have to sit down during.

_____________________________

Don't fight him. Embrace your inner asshole.

Tu fellas magnus penum meum...iterum

Genuine catnip/kryptonite.
Ego sum erus.

The capacity to learn is a gift, the ability to learn a skill, the willingness to learn a choice. Dune HH

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 593

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/9/2011 6:50:27 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksword404

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksword404

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

I would think that a toothless woman who loves to give blowjobs would top that, no?

Had one of those before. I'm going to have to agree.

Well you know what they say, once you go toothless you never go back.

Oh I don't know. There are some women with their teeth that are so good you have to sit down during.

~frowns~ you been peeking in my window again?

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to blacksword404)

Post #: 594

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/9/2011 6:50:46 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

nothin like the gumming action, though./.. *winks*

where are you now?

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to blacksword404)

Post #: 595

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/9/2011 6:53:03 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

~blinks~ dayam Monkey I didn't know you'd lost all you teeth!

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 596

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/9/2011 7:00:38 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I haven't!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 597

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/9/2011 7:40:48 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis
I had an abusive husband & I complained & left & went back & must have driven my friends bat-shit. Eventually I came to my senses & left for good. So I do know that it can happen. I also think that some of us are tired of hoping that something will happen, that she will have that aha moment & actually do something about it. She may or she may not. Who even knows that their relationship is as abusive as it's painted here in the forums?? Or maybe she's actually the abusive one. I don't know her personally & I doubt that we will ever meet. But my feelings of frustration when women ask for help repeatedly & keep going back into the bad situation are what kept me from working with abused women. I am not capable of not feeling frustrated. So I leave that kind of work to others who can do it

I don't think that you should be too harsh on the people here who've pretty much had it up to here with these two. It's the internet. People say lots of things whether we approve of them or not.

Not a picnic. I'll promise you that one. Part of the whole gig is keeping the reality with you that some clients, no matter what you do or however bad the situation was, some will go back. (I don't want to mislead here. I was a volunteer and not paid.) You kind of have to look at it in the same way you do if you're in the medical field. There will be a certain percentage of patients that you will lose. Sucks when you do, but it's just the reality of it.

At the same time, you get an up close and personal view of the success stories. People who can completely turn their lives around in a very short period of time, even though they don't have squat to start out with.

I actually don't want to go too far down this road because I don't have the right to determine what is happening in their household as abusive between the two of them. There aren't too many of us in BDSM land who don't have something that an outsider could term as abusive. Heck, I beat people for fun. Some people would call that abusive.

I'm not terribly concerned about the core dynamic between Art and tam. Whether they stay together or don't just doesn't have any consequence. Art, his grown daughter, and the boyfriend will manage just fine no matter how this works out. What I am concerned with are the two underage people in the house who need to have somebody in the parenting role in their lives, which just doesn't seem to be coming across as the situation stands.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)

Post #: 598

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/9/2011 9:03:51 AM

LinnaeaBorealis

Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis
I had an abusive husband & I complained & left & went back & must have driven my friends bat-shit. Eventually I came to my senses & left for good. So I do know that it can happen. I also think that some of us are tired of hoping that something will happen, that she will have that aha moment & actually do something about it. She may or she may not. Who even knows that their relationship is as abusive as it's painted here in the forums?? Or maybe she's actually the abusive one. I don't know her personally & I doubt that we will ever meet. But my feelings of frustration when women ask for help repeatedly & keep going back into the bad situation are what kept me from working with abused women. I am not capable of not feeling frustrated. So I leave that kind of work to others who can do it

I don't think that you should be too harsh on the people here who've pretty much had it up to here with these two. It's the internet. People say lots of things whether we approve of them or not.

Not a picnic. I'll promise you that one. Part of the whole gig is keeping the reality with you that some clients, no matter what you do or however bad the situation was, some will go back. (I don't want to mislead here. I was a volunteer and not paid.) You kind of have to look at it in the same way you do if you're in the medical field. There will be a certain percentage of patients that you will lose. Sucks when you do, but it's just the reality of it.

At the same time, you get an up close and personal view of the success stories. People who can completely turn their lives around in a very short period of time, even though they don't have squat to start out with.

I actually don't want to go too far down this road because I don't have the right to determine what is happening in their household as abusive between the two of them. There aren't too many of us in BDSM land who don't have something that an outsider could term as abusive. Heck, I beat people for fun. Some people would call that abusive.

I'm not terribly concerned about the core dynamic between Art and tam. Whether they stay together or don't just doesn't have any consequence. Art, his grown daughter, and the boyfriend will manage just fine no matter how this works out. What I am concerned with are the two underage people in the house who need to have somebody in the parenting role in their lives, which just doesn't seem to be coming across as the situation stands.

Thank you for these words, LadyP. I worked with alcoholics for many years & statistically only 5% of them ever get sober. The ones I saw who actually did get sober & stay sober were few & far between; but somehow I could handle that better than seeing women & children being abused & the women not able to get out of it. I see now that it's really no different, is it? Or working as a Shanti volunteer, knowing that 100% of my clients would die. Perhaps I do need to look into volunteering with abused families. Maybe I actually have become wiser as I've gotten older? stranger things have happened, I'm sure!

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 599

RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/10/2011 12:07:16 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis
Not a picnic. I'll promise you that one. Part of the whole gig is keeping the reality with you that some clients, no matter what you do or however bad the situation was, some will go back. (I don't want to mislead here. I was a volunteer and not paid.) You kind of have to look at it in the same way you do if you're in the medical field. There will be a certain percentage of patients that you will lose. Sucks when you do, but it's just the reality of it.

At the same time, you get an up close and personal view of the success stories. People who can completely turn their lives around in a very short period of time, even though they don't have squat to start out with.

I actually don't want to go too far down this road because I don't have the right to determine what is happening in their household as abusive between the two of them. There aren't too many of us in BDSM land who don't have something that an outsider could term as abusive. Heck, I beat people for fun. Some people would call that abusive.

I'm not terribly concerned about the core dynamic between Art and tam. Whether they stay together or don't just doesn't have any consequence. Art, his grown daughter, and the boyfriend will manage just fine no matter how this works out. What I am concerned with are the two underage people in the house who need to have somebody in the parenting role in their lives, which just doesn't seem to be coming across as the situation stands.

Thank you for these words, LadyP. I worked with alcoholics for many years & statistically only 5% of them ever get sober. The ones I saw who actually did get sober & stay sober were few & far between; but somehow I could handle that better than seeing women & children being abused & the women not able to get out of it. I see now that it's really no different, is it? Or working as a Shanti volunteer, knowing that 100% of my clients would die. Perhaps I do need to look into volunteering with abused families. Maybe I actually have become wiser as I've gotten older? stranger things have happened, I'm sure!

I happen to think that you would excel. Of course, I have My own personal bias.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)

Post #: 600

Page: << < prev 28 29 [30] 31 32 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6

Page: << < prev 28 29 [30] 31 32 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.125