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Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 1:59:55 AM

MsMacComb

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I freely admit to not conforming so wonder why others so readily feel they need to pressure others to do so.
Motorcycle gangs are outlaws and nonconformists yet they usually have a "code" or rules so they all dress, talk, drive, ride, walk and act the same.
Punk rockers (heavy metal, rap, etc) are all outlaws and nonconformists yet they usually have a "code" or rules so they all dress, talk, walk the same.
The same usually applies, to Goth, gangbangers, lowriders, rednecks, druggies, and most anyone else that isnt a "suit" so to speak.
S/Mers are usually considered outcasts of most of societies norms, are seen as deviant, perverted, often engage in activities or peruse books, mags, sites and vids that are considered "outlawed" in most counties and states and certainly in most countries.
People who often wish to express their "individuality" dress or alter themselves in a certain and unique way to accomplish this. So they say. So why is it that every other "individualist/outlaw/nonconformist" dyes their hair pink, gets tribal tattoos, buy's the same black makeup etc? Whats original about tattooing, dressing, dyeing themselves almost identical to millions of others that then all state they are "expressing their individuality"?
Why do so many people here seem obsessed with trying to make "newbies" conform to their version of "kink/fetish/alternative lifestyle"? Why do so many feel threatened if someone doesnt buy into their "conformist" version of how S/M should be done?

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 2:09:03 AM

meatcleaver

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Non conformists are not revolutionaries. Non-conformists are usually quite conservative people in their own terms. They might not conform to what they see as the mainstream but generally they sure as hell don't deviate from their own subcult and they rarely challenge mainstream because they have very little to offer mainstream and want to remain apart anyway.

It doesn't surprise me that people who are new are challenged because they might bring new ideas or a whole new perspective to the lifestyle and rather than confirm and reinforce someones life style choice, undermine or belittle it. Basically it's those who challenge new ideas and perspectives that have the real problem.

No doubt a biker isn't going to move away from his Harley Davidson even though there are better bikes out there because the Harley is part of his aspirational life style, its a confirmation of what he is. Another bike and a better bike would undermine his whole perception of his life style.

(in reply to MsMacComb)

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 3:21:38 AM

Level

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Good post, MsMac. Most "non-conformists" are......not.

(in reply to meatcleaver)

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 3:32:13 AM

Wulfchyld

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Cool! I like this post and I am sure we all know what I am. lol

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 5:01:09 AM

philosophy

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...is anyone else reminded of the scene in Life of Brian where Brian shouts at the crowd?

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 6:36:09 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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People want to feel connected to other people, they want to form a solid family group. Why else do you have so many posts that start "Do anyone else...?" They want to not be/feel alone.

As well, non conformists are just like everyone else and MOST people of the world are followers/herds.

I have to say I find this post amusing considering the OP is one of the worst offenders in the "This is how it is FOR EVERYONE" category here.

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 9:55:01 AM

HarryVanWinkle

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The term non-conformist comes from the Puritan revolt against the Church of England in the late 16th and 17th centuries. They refused to conform to the beliefs, regulations and standards of the Established Church. They started their own churches which, as all churches do, required conformism to their own beliefs and standards. Which, of course, led to more non-conformism.

In a society that has no Established Church, non-conformism becomes a form of youthful rebellion against the social standards of their elders, particularly their parents. With the strong impetus of the young to be accepted and by their peers, non-conformism inevitably leads to establishment of peer groups, which require conformism to their own standards, usually designed to be shocking to their parents.

Thus it has ever been. This is why so many in my generation became hippies and why so many current young people become whatever they become this week.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 10:33:36 AM

RedRedWine

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Lol. Non-Conformist Ahh that brings back such funny memories. I remember this one time my mom just looked at me and sighed heavily and said "SHELBY!! FOR ONCE!!! FOR JUST ONCE!! WILL YOU CONFORM?!?! I SWEAR IT WILL NOT KILL YOU!!!" ...and I had to..and it was sad...

Although I don't think I am a non-conformist..I mean I can conform...I just wont conform to stupid stuff...

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 10:45:30 AM

MsMacComb

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I have to say I find this post amusing considering the OP is one of the worst offenders in the "This is how it is FOR EVERYONE" category here.

Evidence? I seem to always be stating the opposite. But then perhaps as you are included in part of the "everyone" that I disagree with you would have that opinion.

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 10:45:38 AM

NakedOnMyChain

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"You were so true to yourself that you were true to no one else."
~Modest Mouse

I think even people who don't want to fit into the "norm", still want a place to fit in. Everyone needs to belong somewhere, and will modify their behavior, however slightly or appropriately, accordingly.

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~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to MsMacComb)

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 10:49:18 AM

MsMacComb

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld
Cool! I like this post and I am sure we all know what I am. lol

Hey you know, your either with us or against us. (W.?)

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 11:10:35 AM

RedRedWine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain

"You were so true to yourself that you were true to no one else."
~Modest Mouse

I think even people who don't want to fit into the "norm", still want a place to fit in. Everyone needs to belong somewhere, and will modify their behavior, however slightly or appropriately, accordingly.

Wow. I like that MM quote.

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 11:20:12 AM

NakedOnMyChain

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Thanks. I love me some Modest Mouse. It's from "Black Cadillacs" off of "Good News for People Who Love Bad News". Such a great cd.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to RedRedWine)

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 1:38:10 PM

Gauge

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Nonconforming is basically an idea not a tangible thing. Peer groups of people that are nonconformist may well identify with a certain dress code or hair style or mode of transportation but that does not mean that they are conforming. I am basically a free thinker and as a result I am pretty much a nonconformist but that doesn't mean that I do not have areas in my life that I do conform like everyone else does. It is a mind set that you are talking about. The external representation of that mind set will allow others that think the same way to identify with others like them. I really don't think that is conforming.

Let's face it, if everyone was a total nonconformist society would fall flat on its face. Structure isn't a bad thing and routine is part of human nature. Without some forms of routine the majority of us would feel lost in a way.

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(in reply to MsMacComb)

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 2:53:36 PM

Lordandmaster

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I've never understood this either. I thought the whole purpose of having an alternative sexuality was that you don't have to conform to anyone else's stuffy notions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMacComb

Why do so many people here seem obsessed with trying to make "newbies" conform to their version of "kink/fetish/alternative lifestyle"? Why do so many feel threatened if someone doesnt buy into their "conformist" version of how S/M should be done?

(in reply to MsMacComb)

Post #: 15

RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 3:12:59 PM

MsMacComb

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
I've never understood this either. I thought the whole purpose of having an alternative sexuality was that you don't have to conform to anyone else's stuffy notions.

Judging by your avatar you Sir are into some really freaky shit so I think your in the clear, lol.

_____________________________

Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 4:00:46 PM

UtopianRanger

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMacComb

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
I've never understood this either. I thought the whole purpose of having an alternative sexuality was that you don't have to conform to anyone else's stuffy notions.

Judging by your avatar you Sir are into some really freaky shit so I think your in the clear, lol.

Nah... I don't think so, don't buy that its just a ruse! He's as normal as the next dude. LMAO!

- R

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to MsMacComb)

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RE: Nonconformists line up here to conform. - 5/16/2006 4:32:51 PM

ArtCatDom

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Human beings naturally organize themselves into cliques, clans and similar social groups. I think a large part of what you observe is a part of that. Human beings also tend to have a mindset of the "others". When people who claim to be part of the same subculture act outside of what they perceive as "us", it's both viewed (consciously or not) as an "invasion" and as a threat to the complex self-identity they have in relation to that subculture. Hence across all subcultures you have common accusations of being a "poser" and a strong trend towards identifying what is a "real" member of their community.

Generally speaking, nonconformist circles will usually reject potential members who are actual individualists. Such individuals are often labeled as not X enough or as "poseurs".

In my own experience, I removed my piercings and stopped dying my hair when it got to the point of being a suburban expression of rebellion against Mommy and Daddy (funded with Mommy's and Daddy's dollar). I didn't stop doing it so much because it has ceased to be unique (I'm not old enough to have done it that early in time). I stopped when my appearance became associated with that suburban "rebellion".

On a final thought, conformity is not always a bad thing. By conforming to the same language and general rules of language use, we are all able to communicate with each other here. By conforming to general social standards (don't murder, don't steal, etc.), society remains coherent and stable. And so forth. Just a thought.

*meow*

(in reply to MsMacComb)

Post #: 18

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