RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life?

RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (Full Version)

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RapierFugue -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 1:24:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bigblock61 Think of it as hazing. So you defend something very wrong by comparing it to something else very wrong? Nice job, genius. [sm=applause.gif] quote: ORIGINAL: bigblock61 As for the smack upside the head. It didn't get reported because there was nothing to report. The smack was the equivalent of punching your friend in the shoulder so there's not even any bullying involved. There really aren't enough hours in the day to fix what's wrong with you. Fortunately, the labour market will manage that, sooner or later.

bigblock61 -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 2:55:00 PM)
"Falling to my knees". Praise God I've seen the error of my ways!!!! I am an arrogant insecure dickhead, whose only motivation is to bully others, I see it now. Thank the maker there are so many professional psychologists here, or are you all just practicing? From most of the posts in this thread I can see that even though I, as you have said, struck another human being, I have zero doubt that if some of you were in front of me right now, I'd be hit. If I'm so bad and such a mean person, turn that judgmental mirror back on yourselves. I'll go throw back a pint with my trainee, because that's how we roll.

DesFIP -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 3:00:26 PM)
You were training the new hire. That means you have the ability to give him a bad report. So he couldn't complain about you behaving this way for fear you would retaliate by deliberately lying about him, to make sure he didn't get past the probation period. This makes you an asshole. However, if he waits until after he's fully hired and then goes to HR, they will take note of your harassment and will fire you instead rather than keep someone guaranteed to cause a law suit. You punch a friend, a peer on the shoulder in a friendly way. This kid is not a friend, and not a peer. He's someone you have temporary power over which you are abusing. Making him buy you coffee in exchange for not writing a false negative report is the equivalent of stealing an elementary kid's lunch money.

Icarys -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 3:09:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bigblock61 "Falling to my knees". Praise God I've seen the error of my ways!!!! I am an arrogant insecure dickhead, whose only motivation is to bully others, I see it now. Thank the maker there are so many professional psychologists here, or are you all just practicing? From most of the posts in this thread I can see that even though I, as you have said, struck another human being, I have zero doubt that if some of you were in front of me right now, I'd be hit. If I'm so bad and such a mean person, turn that judgmental mirror back on yourselves. I'll go throw back a pint with my trainee, because that's how we roll. A lot of these people have sticks twisted up their ass..Don't let it get to you. They enjoy trying to strip a person to the bone when they don't agree with them. I worked with a crap load of construction workers and manual labor guys in my time and the majority of them were easy going people. Hell I have had shit thrown at me and have even shot the occasional nail gun near a person to fuck with them. Not one time did I mean to hurt anyone (Okay there was this REAL asshole once) Just monkeys being monkeys in one form. Some will call anything immature that doesn't fit their taste. I'd bet though you could easily find something that each one of them did that would fit that definition too. They just happen to be the kinds that enjoy looking for it in others.

Icarys -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 3:11:58 PM)
quote: You were training the new hire. That means you have the ability to give him a bad report. So he couldn't complain about you behaving this way for fear you would retaliate by deliberately lying to him, to make sure he didn't get past the probation period. This makes you an asshole. However, if he waits until after he's fully hired and then goes to HR, they will take note of your harassment and will fire you instead rather than keep someone guaranteed to cause a law suit. There you go with those scenarios again..so we can deduce then that this is what's going to happen. He should contact a lawyer.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 3:13:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP You were training the new hire. That means you have the ability to give him a bad report. So he couldn't complain about you behaving this way for fear you would retaliate by deliberately lying to him, to make sure he didn't get past the probation period. This makes you an asshole. However, if he waits until after he's fully hired and then goes to HR, they will take note of your harassment and will fire you instead rather than keep someone guaranteed to cause a law suit. You punch a friend, a peer on the shoulder in a friendly way. This kid is not a friend, and not a peer. He's someone you have temporary power over which you are abusing. Making him buy you coffee in exchange for not writing a false negative report is the equivalent of stealing an elementary kid's lunch money. I'm in no way defending the OP, as I think what he did was pretty stupid and if I were the trainee, I would have laughed in his face. However, you obviously are completely unaware of how this particular type of blue collar business works. Unless the OP works for a corporation, there is no "HR," there is the guy who owns the garage. There is no "probation" period, the guy was hired, the owner of the garage is not likely looking to get a "report" on his training. He will pop in the garage on his own here and there and see what the kid is doing. There is a world of difference between what is accepted in an office and what is accepted in a garage. "Hazing" isn't a good thing, but if everyone involved is thinking what happened is funny, we really aren't in a position to tell him he is lucky he didn't get fired not understanding how the business he is in works. And it is blatently obvious there is no understanding of independently owned (and even many corporate owned) car repair shops. Feel free to not want to jump up and down and be the guy's friend, but professing to know how "lucky" he got and how the business works doesn't make you look much better.

bigblock61 -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 3:18:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP This kid is not a friend, and not a peer. Who ever said he was a kid? What kind of sick fu*k are you??? Or did I take something out of context just like everybody else here seems to be doing?

Icarys -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 3:29:05 PM)
quote: Who ever said he was a kid? What kind of sick fu*k are you??? Or did I take something out of context just like everybody else here seems to be doing? She's prone to wild assumptions and condemnations thereafter. You get used to it.

PeonForHer -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 3:42:19 PM)
FR Jesus, folks - context? Context? If I saw the 'victim' in the OP laughing his head off, I think I'd be laughing too. If not, then I'd be growling along with some others here. The OP's story is not one that I'd see every day in my own workplace, but I should imagine British university Social Science departments have a somewhat different ambience to them to those of the average mechanics' workshop. Now I know that in some, shall we say 'more heartily masculine' workplaces, things can tip over into the nastiest form of bullying (A lot of cases in the British military spring to mind.) In most situations it isn't what's done that matters, it's how it's felt by the butt of it. You have to watch how things are taken really, really carefully. Some people will cut their mickey-taking the moment they think their target isn't enjoying it. Others won't. We don't know how the OP's vic is feeling after all this. So perhaps the OP will tell us: how is this guy now? No BSing us, now - we'll see it . . . .

RapierFugue -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 3:48:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Jesus, folks - context? Context? The context is he wrote a bunch of unpleasant shit that clearly demonstrated zero empathy or concern for someone in his care, and then wanted patting on the back for it. You'll excuse me if I don't join in.

Musicmystery -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 3:49:49 PM)
quote: Do you mess with the vanilla people that surround you in daily life? No.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 3:51:11 PM)
fast reply... I'm so glad I never had to work with 90% of the people that posted on this thread. Imagine how fun that work environment would be. [&:] Oh and roch...the part of my rectum that I pulled that out of is so wonderfully sweet. Glitter and all.

RapierFugue -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 3:55:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 fast reply... I'm so glad I never had to work with 90% of the people that posted on this thread. Imagine how fun that work environment would be. [&:] So you think it's necessary, in order for a work environment to be fun, for people to be allowed to bully or abuse each other? That doesn't match my experience of good and bad working environments at all. In fact my experience is diametrically opposite to it.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 3:57:07 PM)
Is it hard to walk around with that stick so far up? They weren't bullying or abusing anyone. They were joking around. You do know what that is, don't you? Actually, you obviously don't.

RapierFugue -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 4:00:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 Is it hard to walk around with that stick so far up? They weren't bullying or abusing anyone. They were joking around. You do know what that is, don't you? Actually, you obviously don't. Obfuscating the point by using misdirection and insults won't work. It's perfectly possible to create a decent and fun working environment without tolerating bullying and abuse. In fact, I'd suggest it's all the better for having such an environment. Have you actually read the OP? If not, you might want to.

PeonForHer -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 4:00:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RapierFugue The context is he wrote a bunch of unpleasant shit that clearly demonstrated zero empathy or concern for someone in his care, and then wanted patting on the back for it. OK, I shall apologise for appearing patronising to a swathe of the population, but I see no choice . . . . He's a mechanic, RF. Such types aren't usually great at writing and least of all at writing about feelings. It's the vic's feelings that count, here - and we don't know them. Perhaps the OP would like to make a special effort on this occasion. (A really special effort, eh, OP?)

RapierFugue -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 4:04:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer It's the vic's feelings that count, here - and we don't know them. And we never will, since an employee is almost certainly not going to admit how they felt in those circumstances. Or was that your point?

Aileen1968 -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 4:06:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RapierFugue Have you actually read the OP? If not, you might want to. quote: Do you mess with the vanilla people that surround you in daily life? I love to people watch in my spare time only because humanity can be really entertaining. The reason I'm asking is because I'm training a new guy at work to build transmissions. I told him that he doesn't have to call me Master, Sir will do. I also told him that he has to pay a daily tribute of coffee every morning. This went on for about a week before he figured out that I was messing with him. The whole place thought it was hysterical to watch him bring me coffee first thing every morning and I did smack him upside the head once when he forgot. I really couldn't believe he let me do it. Please show me where there is any bullying. He joked around with the words master and sir. He had the guy bring him coffee every morning. (Ooooh scary) He does talk about smacking him upside the head. Perhaps there is a translation issue here between the US and the UK. That expression does not mean beating someone. It's playful jabbing that people do to each other. It is NOT abuse.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 4:08:01 PM)
Smack upside the head...

RapierFugue -> RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? (6/28/2011 4:11:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 Smack upside the head... "To extend your arm so that your hand is below the back of a person's head and thrust your hand upwards so that your palm hits them square in the back of the head. " So, striking someone. Generally in a demeaning fashion. Whether it's done in a "jovial" manner means nothing as far as the law, or indeed the spirit of intent, is concerned.

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