RE: Relationship Advice -- Can she get Kinky?

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RE: Relationship Advice -- Can she get Kinky? - 9/6/2011 12:15:55 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I also said, you can't really date Vanilla and then hope someone "turns" or "discovers" their kinky side. (Especially over age 35.)

What do you think, can someone like him "with the right approach" (whatever that is) lure someone into a kinky domination role?

His history and stories suggest "no."

Dunno bout that. Ive dated lots of girls over the age of 35 and I never did the online hook up sites. I meet ppl face to face. Online dating is so overrated. I never had any issues with finding a submissive girl to go out with.

I lure the bitches with my charming personality, good looks and monster cock. They in turn fulfill my wildest fantasy's.

BadOne

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RE: Relationship Advice -- Can she get Kinky? - 9/6/2011 12:32:54 PM

M4S73R

Posts: 232
Joined: 9/5/2011
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Wow some of the comments on here are ignorant as hell.
Tell your friend to take some initiative.
Your research 2 years ago should have told you that most of this is power exchange.
Start lite. Coming right out with "hey i want to you to tie me up then fuck the shit out of me while making me your bitch" can come off a little strong.
In a very general sense women tend to be subs, men Doms. Its been beat into us since small age. (Holy Bible/Christianity, TV Sitcoms, free porn, our parents).
So your friend needs to focus on the power exchange. Start with little things, massages, Titles, bowing/scraping. your friend should just be himself and a sub to her in small ways. get her into the power dynamic and see where it goes. If it doesn't go anywhere, she may not be right for him

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RE: Relationship Advice -- Can she get Kinky? - 9/6/2011 12:37:59 PM

NocturnalStalker

Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
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Drop her & find somebody else.

Do I win the stuffed bear?

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RE: Relationship Advice -- Can she get Kinky? - 9/8/2011 2:41:13 AM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

Drop her & find somebody else.

Do I win the stuffed bear?

No, but I think you win the stuffed sausage award. :D

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RE: Relationship Advice -- Can she get Kinky? - 9/10/2011 5:17:48 PM

Tristan

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Joined: 5/31/2004
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quote:

I also said, you can't really date Vanilla and then hope someone "turns" or "discovers" their kinky side. (Especially over age 35.)

I have a submissive friend who said she just discovered the D/s lifestyle last year at the age of 49. I think there are many people with kinky fantasies who don't act on them. However, my guess is that if someone is exposed to D/s, and does not respond enthusiastically, then D/s is probably not for that person.

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

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RE: Relationship Advice -- Can she get Kinky? - 9/10/2011 7:49:21 PM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
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If he wants a relationship with a lovely Dominant woman, he should look for a lovely dominant woman into the things he's into. Not date a vanilla woman and hope to introduce her to some great revelation. It's a lie, a sham, and I'd find it mildly insulting if it happened to me. He should just be a little more open on the topic of what he wants in a relationship before jumping into bed, then maybe he'd be less disappointed when women don't end up being a dominatrix in disguise.

I mean if I went around dating vanilla guys and then expecting them to adapt to my BDSM kinks, when they gave no indication prior that it held any interest for them, why should I be surprised when they flee in the other direction, why should I be surprised I lose interest in them when they aren't into the things I want or need in a relationship?

I'm hetero and kinky, it would be as pointless to date a vanilla, as it would be to date a woman, not saying they aren't great people, but they aren't what I want, and my kiss isn't magical enough to turn them into something else.

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

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Post #: 46