RE: I May Be A Submissive......

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RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/1/2011 5:51:56 AM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

But I'm not Your submissive.
What are your thoughts on the origin of this phrase?
Do you have any experiences in which you had to say this? Were they online only?
Are there any submissive males reading this that actually have used this saying

"InstaDom".. I like that description!

I dont bother explaining to anyone any more. I have it on my profile up in bold letters, no one under 35 or not a Dom, those emails are all blocked & deleted.
I am not into casual long pointless emails so will either ignore or block/delete the "How are you" emails.
Those guys dont come to the forums, I find. So I am pretty safe here...

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 21

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/1/2011 5:51:59 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Yeah... my common response to "you will do what I say" is something along the lines of "is that right? I appreciate you letting me know what you're thinking." And then I go look for a cup of tea or something. They usually don't chase or give me a hard time (of course this is all memory, and my glasses may be on the wee rosy side).

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(in reply to DecadentDesire)

Post #: 22

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/1/2011 6:02:26 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

This:

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineFae

Now, on the other claw, i have an inner-cat. In regards to people i don't know, there is indifference completely.
Should an unknown person become a threat, they won't be seeing my subbie side.

_____________________________

(in reply to FelineFae)

Post #: 23

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/1/2011 7:14:55 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

Those guys dont come to the forums, I find. So I am pretty safe here...

There certainly are some incredible men on this forum, eh?

And...er...uhmmmm, I have this incredible urge to pinch your nipples. Make it go away!

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 24

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/1/2011 8:55:34 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

And after I'm told "you're not very submissive."

To which I usually reply, "Yup. Now fuck off."

Honestly, I don't care. His Tallness knows who I am. My friends know who I am. I don't care whether some random idiot thinks I'm submissive.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 7/1/2011 8:56:33 PM >

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 25

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/9/2011 3:39:42 PM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise
...men are more predatory in nature than
women are, and that women are seen as being much more vulnerable than men,
hence they are considered easy prey. While the male dominant may have these
same predatory urges with a male submissive, he is less likely to move in for the kill.

I think this is terrible stereotyping, there are lots of predatory women, especially in BDSM. My Owner is a switch, and can relate stories of times he was restrained and playing with one Domme, when other random women would go past and touch him, or slap his ass. One even straddled him and began spanking his ass, and had to be pulled off by the Domme and other people around them!

owned

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 26

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/9/2011 4:40:11 PM

SerendipityWM

Posts: 19
Joined: 7/5/2011
Status: offline

quote:

Are there any submissive males reading this that actually have used this saying

No, but I can understand the sentiment of the saying. I'm a male submissive, sure, but it's ridiculous defining people that generally - especially when you're also generalizing the entirety of their interaction with other people. With most women I know I'm just me, there's no willingness to do anything in either direction as I don't feel that sort of bond with more than one woman, generally. I tend to go along the lines of willing to acknowledge the supremacy of one woman and one woman only, the one I'm (for lack of a better phrase) 'in love with' or certainly affectionate of.

I've always been a bit single-minded in that respect, though.

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

Post #: 27

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/9/2011 7:13:14 PM

erieangel

Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline

I had to use that phrase just the other day. I usually just delete emails from the men who come off as "you'll do as I because I'm a Dom", but this one guy just had me so angry that I told him off. I not only told him that I'm not his submissive to order about, but that I also thought he was being an a$$hat. He came back with the usual "you're not being very submissive" bs. Like I'm not permitted to have a thought in my head because I'm submissive?? Screw that.

(in reply to SerendipityWM)

Post #: 28

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/10/2011 1:49:31 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

But I'm not Your submissive.

~shrugs~ yes you are.

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The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

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Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
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(in reply to poise)

Post #: 29

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/10/2011 3:33:27 PM

Succi

Posts: 23
Joined: 3/30/2010
Status: offline

Having been on this site both as a boy sub and lady domme...

I think it's related to the whole "men are from mars" crap. Yes, crap, it's not scientific at all, at best it's inconclusive, but I digress.

There is the popular (mis)understanding in culture that women are just naturally more submissive than men. I don't think it's the "predatory" thing though (see above). I think this comes from several places:
1) Faux-scientists who like to promote some misogynistic gender divide about how men and women communicate and respond socially to different situations (which in turn leads to "Your man doesn't NOT care about your feelings, he just can't understand them! Give the slob a break!")
2) Internet porn categories. Anyone who's even looked at a website knows they play fast and loose with labels (an Italian girl under "Black", a 130lbs woman under "BBW") and some guy stumbles across the "submissive" tag, and all it is is some guy pushing the woman to her knees to give him oral and saying "yeah you like that?" which is in reality not that much kinkier than half the married couples in America for crying out loud (and we've got those giant poles up our butts about sex...ha-ha...). Of course, most of these site browsers are male. Mostly.
3) The preponderance of men over women to use dating sites in the first place, this automatically skews numbers in favor of women no matter the persuasion. This doubly applies to female dominants who ALREADY outnumber their subs by some 5-to-1 margin. I dare say most male subs won't even get an email once a month here, and not for lack of trying (Doms, no idea). Which leads to
3a) The average intelligence of the Human race: In order to compete with a much larger pool of men than they would at, say, a munch, many men, even dominants, resort to being "more" than the next guy. If i can be more upfront and in your face about being a dom/sub it will work!

So, we combine all of these points to form a picture of the faux-dom. He is a man who has heard from some guy on the news somewhere that women are more submissive than men. He finds submissive porn and says "hey I do that all the time" and tries his hand at a d/s site, figuring it's just an adultfriendfinder for girls who like to get slapped.

The professor is done for the afternoon. Off to lunch.

< Message edited by Succi -- 7/10/2011 3:39:17 PM >

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"Happiness is never grand"

(in reply to FelineFae)

Post #: 30

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/10/2011 3:43:39 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

Those guys dont come to the forums, I find. So I am pretty safe here...

I'm here..I been here for ever and a day.....

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Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 31

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/10/2011 5:13:28 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I do believe that male subs are much less likely to use this phrase, even when so richly needed, simply because of the lower ratio of femdommes to male subs than male doms to femsubs.

I've used that and other such phrases to dommes who have written me demanding that since they're going to be in my area, I should rent them a hotel room and play with them.

Although I'm more likely to suggest to rude people that they tell their mothers what they just said to a total stranger, ask her how she would feel if someone said such a thing to her and then get a much needed refresher course in manners. Of course hoping they'll get bitchslapped into next week at the same time.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 32

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/10/2011 5:18:33 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts on this with me.
You have given me a greater insight into how the phrase originated,
and the occassional benefit of it's use among both genders.
And zephyr? Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh! That's our secret!

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 33

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/10/2011 5:23:05 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

ooops sorry I thought it was general knowledge ~blushes~

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 34

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/12/2011 11:46:01 AM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

Sweetpea, you know me. And I've told you some of the idiotic messages I've received from the other side. Had one the other day whose profile ended with "and you must reply to me with "I am eager to". Needless to say, I heeded his *directive*. But I don't think it was the answer he was expecting. Haven't heard from him since.

I've used the "I may be submissive, but I'm not yours" in much more colorful language. I don't have to take crap from anyone just because they think I should. And that's not going to change anytime in the future either. It used to be much worse on Yahoo, which is why I avoid it like the plague now.

The boards, although it does have it's small share of HNGs who seem like so many more because of their incessant postings or starting threads, are a lot better than anywhere I've ever been online. And in person, someone tries that with me, they're going to want to run and fast. I once asked a Dom if he would talk to me like that if he met me on the street. After about 15 minutes, he replied, said he'd thought about it and realized I was right, and apologized for being rude to begin with. That was the only time I was ever apologized to, probably the last.

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(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 35

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/12/2011 12:04:23 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

I have a simpler approach: block and delete. It keeeps things nice and quiet around here.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)

Post #: 36

RE: I May Be A Submissive...... - 7/12/2011 5:52:51 PM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

i may be a dominant, but i'm not your dominant. but i'm sure as fuck going to try.

i mean fuck people, have you perved her fucking profile??? sweet mary's alabaster tits! she's like the definition of drool-worthy fuckability!

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i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 37

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