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Since we've been talking about government. - 5/16/2006 12:43:34 PM   
MsMacComb


Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline
A cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says,
"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as
the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows... Now give me back my dog."




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RE: Since we've been talking about government. - 5/16/2006 12:58:34 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
I bet he gets his salsa in New York City

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(in reply to MsMacComb)
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RE: Since we've been talking about government. - 5/16/2006 1:49:11 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

I bet he gets his salsa in New York City


LMAO!  Probably.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: Since we've been talking about government. - 5/16/2006 5:06:12 PM   
ArtCatDom


Posts: 478
Joined: 1/20/2005
Status: offline
LOL!!!

Thank you! I need that. :)

*meow*

(in reply to MsMacComb)
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RE: Since we've been talking about government. - 5/17/2006 3:33:23 AM   
SirCumsSlut


Posts: 433
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMacComb

A cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says,
"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as
the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows... Now give me back my dog."





ROFLMAO........Thanks for the early morning laugh 

_____________________________

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His slut


"Your firm hand and compassionate heart are what guide me in my journey....I am Yours, Sir" His slut

(in reply to MsMacComb)
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RE: Since we've been talking about government. - 5/17/2006 12:05:47 PM   
xxmstrchasxx


Posts: 423
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline
That was hilarious.........very good!

LMAO

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XxMasterChasxX

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RE: Since we've been talking about government. - 5/17/2006 8:24:09 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline
Great, chuckles, thanks for sharing!

(in reply to xxmstrchasxx)
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