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Location, location location! - 7/2/2011 3:46:42 PM   
blkswitch


Posts: 45
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline 		I have many married men approach me here.

I have to let them know that I DO NOT HAVE a dungeon nor my own place.

That usually works because, these men are not seeking to rent a hotel room.

It also makes it easier when a single man has a room mate wants to play but does not have his own place.

Men have to have their own place and/or get a hotel room for play.

Ladies, do you go to his place or do they come to your place?  and how soon after you chat with them do you actually play (at his or your place)?

That's all!

< Message edited by blkswitch -- 7/2/2011 3:48:16 PM >
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RE: Location, location location! - 7/2/2011 4:26:07 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I tend to play at the public dungeon that is available or the play space that is sponsored by the munch group that I attend.  I have used hotel rooms in the past, specifically when My ums were under eighteen.  I actually don't play with married men whose wives are unaware of a person's interest in BDSM.  I'm sure explaining that bruised up ass is rather comical.

"Sure, Honey.  I fell over and over and landed repeatedly on the backside."


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Location, location location! - 7/2/2011 6:42:50 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Ladies, do you go to his place or do they come to your place?  and how soon after you chat with them do you actually play (at his or your place)?


If they have no place they get no play... not with me anyways

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to blkswitch)
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RE: Location, location location! - 7/2/2011 8:05:14 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

"Sure, Honey.  I fell over and over and landed repeatedly on the backside."



hahahahaha


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your living nightmare

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RE: Location, location location! - 7/3/2011 12:36:14 PM   
pdv99


Posts: 140
Joined: 3/13/2007
From: UK
Status: offline 		So, the responsibility is 100% on the guy to provide a play space? Chauvin would have been proud of you. Who needs all this equality nonsense?

(in reply to fadedshadow)
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RE: Location, location location! - 7/3/2011 12:46:44 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blkswitch

I have many married men approach me here.

I have to let them know that I DO NOT HAVE a dungeon nor my own place.



Guess I'm old fashioned, as I'd simply "let them know" that I "DO NOT HAVE" any interest in CHEATERS?!!



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RE: Location, location location! - 7/3/2011 3:50:32 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hmmm.... It's a conundrum.  I guess the question is whether or not I trust him.  I think that is a more important question. 
The place is merely a symptom of the basic trust issue.


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RE: Location, location location! - 7/3/2011 7:45:53 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pdv99

So, the responsibility is 100% on the guy to provide a play space? Chauvin would have been proud of you. Who needs all this equality nonsense?



A man is more than welcome to come over to my home for dinner, to get to know my family, to watch a movie. If he wants more, he better have a home, too. I am not into dating a man that does not have a home. I have a home, he should have a home, and if he does not have a home I am welcome in, he isn't for me.

My home is not some guy's fuck pad, I don't "host"

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to pdv99)
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RE: Location, location location! - 7/3/2011 11:53:03 PM   
Palliata


Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pdv99

So, the responsibility is 100% on the guy to provide a play space? Chauvin would have been proud of you. Who needs all this equality nonsense?


Pretty much this. If it's a huge deal for you which person provides play space, you've probably lost focus on what this is all about. Setting aside the issue of responsibility in playing with adulterers, there's no reason it should be an issue. Play wherever is convenient for both parties.


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I'm male. I know it sounds female. Work with me.

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RE: Location, location location! - 7/4/2011 2:30:43 AM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		~FR~

When I use the term "play" it's just for pain/impact. I don't care for casual sex. With that disclaimer:
I'm also someone who plays at my local dungeon's play space. I'm very comfortable there, if I'm asked to top, I will, if I'm asked to be the target bottom, I'll comply. I've even had a dominant ask if his two submissives could try topping for the first time. Sure, why not? As long as they're comfortable with it, I'm fine with it.

Of course when I'm in a, intimate, monogamous, committed relationship playing privately is fab-u-lous!

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RE: Location, location location! - 7/4/2011 5:23:49 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		This:

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

A man is more than welcome to come over to my home for dinner, to get to know my family, to watch a movie. If he wants more, he better have a home, too. I am not into dating a man that does not have a home. I have a home, he should have a home, and if he does not have a home I am welcome in, he isn't for me.

My home is not some guy's fuck pad, I don't "host"



Thank you for saving my typing fingers, Julia.


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RE: Location, location location! - 7/4/2011 10:43:18 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

You know, this thread brings up an interesting set of thoughts that I hope the OP won't mind if I bring up and, hopefully, discuss here. Leaving out the "married and cheating" nonsense (I don't play that game), what if you're meeting a prospective with the understanding that there might be some sort of bdsm interaction but neither of you have access to a dungeon and haven't quite gotten to the "Come into my parlour..." point....who pays for the hotel room?

Think meet/possibly beat/leaving the door open for more type of thing, not casual sex. Seriously...am I the only one who has considered/done this sort of thing?

Just tossing that out to see who picks it up.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
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RE: Location, location location! - 7/4/2011 10:48:32 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Hmmm.... It's a conundrum.  I guess the question is whether or not I trust him.  I think that is a more important question. 
The place is merely a symptom of the basic trust issue.



Is it? My home is my "Fortress of Solitude" that few have entered. It takes a lot for me to open my door to someone I'm just starting a relationship with...even if that relationship is a short-term one...as I'm a very private person. I also have a fairly nosey neighbor that I'd rather not deal with. Is it trust or convenience?

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
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RE: Location, location location! - 7/4/2011 10:57:42 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pdv99

So, the responsibility is 100% on the guy to provide a play space? Chauvin would have been proud of you. Who needs all this equality nonsense?


If that is her condition from the go, she has every right to make that demand, sorry but a married guy expecting that you give him kink fulfillment and a play space on demand in exchange for his "submission" (whenever he has the horn and can sneak away from the wife) isn't going to fly. In fact for me the married part and the wife not knowing wouldn't fly, but to each their own.

In case he wants to have the dungeon and dominance on demand without strings, he can go and book an appointment with a pro domme. You know I will play with people if I like them, my other half is aware of it and doesn't mind, though we both agreed not in our home, so a guy has to provide the space and I provide the toys and tools. Is it chauvinistic of me to expect them to pay about £20 to £30 for dungeon rent, when I bring equipment and stuff that's worth possibly a few K?

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to pdv99)
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RE: Location, location location! - 7/4/2011 5:08:24 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Palliata

quote:

ORIGINAL: pdv99

So, the responsibility is 100% on the guy to provide a play space? Chauvin would have been proud of you. Who needs all this equality nonsense?


Pretty much this. If it's a huge deal for you which person provides play space, you've probably lost focus on what this is all about. Setting aside the issue of responsibility in playing with adulterers, there's no reason it should be an issue. Play wherever is convenient for both parties.


Lost focus on what it's all about because a woman doesn't want a casual aquaintence in her home? Really?

If a man invites me to do whatever with him, I would expect that he'd take care of the where to do it details just like when I invite someone to do something with me I am in charge of the plan of what we'll do. A male partner to me should be my equal, so he'll be solvent and stable and have somewhere to go if I were to take him up on his invitation. I also don't host and I don't feel at all apologetic about that.

(in reply to Palliata)
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RE: Location, location location! - 7/5/2011 1:27:12 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

~fast reply~

You know, this thread brings up an interesting set of thoughts that I hope the OP won't mind if I bring up and, hopefully, discuss here. Leaving out the "married and cheating" nonsense (I don't play that game), what if you're meeting a prospective with the understanding that there might be some sort of bdsm interaction but neither of you have access to a dungeon and haven't quite gotten to the "Come into my parlour..." point....who pays for the hotel room?

Think meet/possibly beat/leaving the door open for more type of thing, not casual sex. Seriously...am I the only one who has considered/done this sort of thing?

Just tossing that out to see who picks it up.

My general rule on this depended on a few factors.  The biggest one was who was traveling for the purpose of playing in the first place.  My rule said that no casual play partners came to the house.  If someone was traveling to visit Me, that means that they would need a place to sleep anyway.  That means the cost is on them. 

The same works in reverse if I was going out of town to an event and preferred to stay over.  Events like SELF, DomCon, etc are pretty much necessary to have a hotel room, well booked in advance anyway.  When I lived in GA, I was at 1763 quite often, and took one of the mini-dungeons for the night.  It's not that uncommon for the demo presenter or event organizer to have an overnight room provided for them if they are coming from out of town.  I have to admit, I got a few "extra" nights out of that deal.

Everybody in the same town?  I'd usually pay.  If for no other reason, it's because MP and I would both be sleeping there.  However, that's not usually something that I volunteer to do unless somebody is damn close to being My sub anyway.  When it's just casual stuff, there's not going to be any sexual contact, so it doesn't come up.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
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RE: Location, location location! - 7/5/2011 2:37:59 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Hmmm.... It's a conundrum.  I guess the question is whether or not I trust him.  I think that is a more important question. 
The place is merely a symptom of the basic trust issue.



Is it? My home is my "Fortress of Solitude" that few have entered. It takes a lot for me to open my door to someone I'm just starting a relationship with...even if that relationship is a short-term one...as I'm a very private person. I also have a fairly nosey neighbor that I'd rather not deal with. Is it trust or convenience?



I totally get that.  In fact, I wouldn't bring anyone to my home.  I'm not chancing it, and it's not like I'm not OBVIOUS.  Also, I don't really have curtains, so... ummm no.

My trust question was prompted by the OP whose issue truly seems to be about trust from the way I read it.  Even your point is about trust - trusting someone into the inner sanctum.

I wasn't making a judgment.  I was actually saying it sounds like trust.  The nosy neighbor is about trusting the neighbor and that is convenience.  I expect a lot of what is happening according to the OP is trust... for a lot of folks though it is indeed a more multi-faceted issue.
best,
sunshine


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: Location, location location! - 7/5/2011 4:18:27 AM   
imperatrixx


Posts: 903
Joined: 3/29/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pdv99

So, the responsibility is 100% on the guy to provide a play space? Chauvin would have been proud of you. Who needs all this equality nonsense?


"Chauvinisme" in the sense inspired by Chauvin actually meant extreme ideological nationalism. The term evolved into meaning any type of ideological extreme, which is where we get the idea of "male chauvinism" but the Frenchy had nothing to do with that.

Just thought I'd let you know.

(in reply to pdv99)
Profile   Post #: 18
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