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Does love have to be part of the equation? - 7/4/2011 12:40:42 AM   
SAMHAIN09


Posts: 207
Joined: 11/8/2010
Status: offline 		I was curious love is mentioned a lot when D/s relationships are mentioned but does the Dom and sub/slave have to really love each other? I'm not saying they have to not care about each other but can't the relationship be based on loyalty, mutual respect and both the Dom's desire to dominate and sub's/slave's desire to serve?
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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 7/4/2011 2:10:32 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Didn't we just have this discussion?


Yes, we did... NINE threads down, same section, same page...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3717740/tm.htm



< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 7/4/2011 2:11:34 AM >

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 7/4/2011 8:04:47 AM   
analyticalmaster


Posts: 39
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Depends on the couple, for strictly bdsm, (its all about the play), no and in that context is better, after all if you dont love your sub, their is no risk to you if you destroy the relationship. So you may whip a little harder or a little longer.

But for D/s or M/s, it makes for much better and richer relationships, these are deep relationships, love is just the beginning.  Far more rewarding, but at the cost, you now have something to risk, that is a part of your soul, you have on the cross.  You want her to have a good time, you want to get the emotional release from topping her, yet there is that little voice reminding you, that you can go too far and destroy something important. So you are just a little bit more cautious than you might have been, you know that she will most likely forgive you anything, if you screw up,  but you still see her not just as a sub or slave but as someone who has great meaning to you. 

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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 7/4/2011 8:07:46 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I was curious love is mentioned a lot when D/s relationships are mentioned but does the Dom and sub/slave have to really love each other? I'm not saying they have to not care about each other but can't the relationship be based on loyalty, mutual respect and both the Dom's desire to dominate and sub's/slave's desire to serve?


*sigh*

Once again...it all depends on the people involved and what they wish for the relationship.

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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 7/4/2011 10:46:51 AM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

Does love have to be part of the equation?



It doesn't HAVE to be part of the equation... but for me personally, it's pointless if it isn't.




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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 7/4/2011 11:48:14 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Didn't we just have this discussion?


Yes, we did... NINE threads down, same section, same page...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3717740/tm.htm



Thank you very much, sunny!

If your posting habits are any indication (repeating thread topics that are less than a few weeks old, putting posts in the wrong sections, etc) it comes across as rather lazy.  Take the time to use the search features and read the guidelines that are provided for the forums.  Check out topics that have been started over the last month or so to see if you are repeating ones that were just discussed.  Your threads will go over much better if you do.


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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 7/4/2011 12:12:58 PM   
SAMHAIN09


Posts: 207
Joined: 11/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Didn't we just have this discussion?


Yes, we did... NINE threads down, same section, same page...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3717740/tm.htm



Thank you very much, sunny!

If your posting habits are any indication (repeating thread topics that are less than a few weeks old, putting posts in the wrong sections, etc) it comes across as rather lazy.  Take the time to use the search features and read the guidelines that are provided for the forums.  Check out topics that have been started over the last month or so to see if you are repeating ones that were just discussed.  Your threads will go over much better if you do.

Thank you LadyPact.

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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 7/4/2011 4:07:47 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		LOL... Ha ha ha ha... Irony.

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 7/4/2011 5:14:01 PM   
Tristan


Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline 		I'd personally find little enjoyment without love.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 7/4/2011 5:27:33 PM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Speaking only for myself.
simple answer.
Yes, Love has to be part of the deal.
No love, no submission.

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Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.



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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 7/4/2011 10:19:48 PM   
MyDesireIsU


Posts: 20
Joined: 11/10/2007
Status: offline 		Yes. I'm still in love with a Master who rejected me because I didn't meet all his requirements for being his slave. I think he let me go because he loved me.

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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 10/8/2011 9:29:15 PM   
Silentrunner26


Posts: 424
Joined: 7/15/2009
Status: offline 		For me it does but that is just me . I have to give all or nothing . For me holding back or just going half way is not worth starting anything .

(in reply to MyDesireIsU)
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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 10/9/2011 5:29:28 PM   
HoustonMaster47


Posts: 20
Joined: 9/27/2011
Status: offline 		I've had a darling little slave girl confess her heart to me while I was providing after care after a long day and night day of particullarly rough play. Then a short time later, defy me with all her might. Of course, such defiance had to be met with punishment most severe, or she would be ruined forever and our journey together would have been over.

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. It's a job. The hours are long, but the benifits are great. If you can't take the heat, get the hell out of the kitchen. Find a vanilla girl friend and buy her expensive gifts. Just my opinion of course.

She's married now, to a guy I gave permission to use her as he saw fit. A real nice wealthy guy who was afraid to hurt her. I had to have a serious talk with him about not runing my work of art.

I love her still.

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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 10/17/2011 10:23:48 AM   
hard2hold


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		Yes....most definitely.

(in reply to HoustonMaster47)
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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 10/17/2011 2:22:15 PM   
ursamajour


Posts: 41
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline 		Yes for me. My dominance is best revealed as an expression of love.

(in reply to hard2hold)
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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 10/17/2011 2:54:03 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I was curious love is mentioned a lot when D/s relationships are mentioned but does the Dom and sub/slave have to really love each other? I'm not saying they have to not care about each other but can't the relationship be based on loyalty, mutual respect and both the Dom's desire to dominate and sub's/slave's desire to serve?


If I'm in an actual D/s relationship that's going to last then, yes, love does need to be part of it for me. If it's just casual Topping/bottoming, such as kinky friends w/ benefits, then no. Just to clarify, I am in a relationship including love right now, not a FWB situation.

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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 10/17/2011 2:58:15 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09
does the Dom and sub/slave have to really love each other?

Of course not. Some do and some don't.
Perhaps you could start a thread with the question "does the dom and sub have to play Trivial Pursuit on weekends?" The answer is the same - of course not.


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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 10/17/2011 3:15:15 PM   
seekerofslut


Posts: 215
Joined: 9/7/2011
Status: offline 		No, love does not have to be there. But I think the question may go beyond that, as people involved in a kink relationship may have very different reasons to love than a pure vanilla relationship.For instance, perhaps one reason the divorce rate is as high as it is that vanilla relationships are less flavorable than one having some form of bdsm. I think people are more kinky than they let on.

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RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 10/21/2011 1:44:50 PM   
bostondom55


Posts: 44
Joined: 9/26/2011
Status: offline 		If somebody didn't love you ,but acted as if they did, would it matter? 

(in reply to seekerofslut)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Does love have to be part of the equation? - 10/21/2011 2:47:38 PM   
HannahLynn


Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline 		christ's blood on toast, what kind of dumb assed question is that?

of course it would fucking matter. if they were pretending then its a fucking lie, then the relationship is a lie, and then your whole fucking life is a lie.


(in reply to bostondom55)
Profile   Post #: 20
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