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Question - 10/13/2004 6:21:37 PM   
benjamin34


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/8/2004
Status: offline 		I have a question. Where are all the real subs? Everyone here is either looking for a 2nd or 3rd or 4th for a harem or they want to do it "just on weekends" or they are unwilling to do anything and that really doesnt make a sub. anyone care to get in on this one?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question - 10/13/2004 6:25:17 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Is your definition of real "monogamous?"
Is it one Dominant per submissive?
24/7?

What is it?

(in reply to benjamin34)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Question - 10/13/2004 6:25:26 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

Everyone here is either looking for a 2nd or 3rd or 4th for a harem or they want to do it "just on weekends" or they are unwilling to do anything


What "here" are you talking about?

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to benjamin34)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Question - 10/13/2004 6:36:44 PM   
shylittleheart


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		It all takes time to find the right one. Yes there are real ones out there, but not everyone is made for each other. Desires, and interest much match or the relationship may be doomed from the beginning. Some seek real time, others just seek a part time relationship perhaps due to other issues we are unaware of. Personally if Master wanted 10 subs or 10 slaves, id be happy for i knew He was happy.


shy

(in reply to benjamin34)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Question - 10/13/2004 7:09:09 PM   
DiamondDiva


Posts: 266
Joined: 10/10/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Yes, please define "REAL"



_____________________________

~Diamond Diva~

" When someone is telling you who they are LET THEM!!!


(in reply to shylittleheart)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Question - 10/13/2004 8:07:41 PM   
INSIDEYOURMIND


Posts: 483
Status: offline 		It's the Baskin Robbins theory, with 31 flavors, there has to be one that everyone will like, I don't even like ice cream!

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to DiamondDiva)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Question - 10/13/2004 8:14:02 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline 		Speaking of ice cream....

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Question - 10/13/2004 9:00:35 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: benjamin34

I have a question. Where are all the real subs? Everyone here is either looking for a 2nd or 3rd or 4th for a harem or they want to do it "just on weekends" or they are unwilling to do anything and that really doesnt make a sub. anyone care to get in on this one?



Wowch. That's got a lot of assumptions in it.

Who are you to say someone who want's a second dominant partner, or second submissive partner or second couple or whatever isn't "real"?

Why is someone who wants only weekends less "real"?

How is having limits that are different than yours less "real"?

These people just want something you don't, please oh please don't place a value judgment on it simply because it isn't what -you- seek.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to benjamin34)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Question - 10/14/2004 1:34:29 PM   
ChrisGreen


Posts: 103
Joined: 10/9/2004
Status: offline 		Well now, if you can define what kind of dominant you are, then you might be able to define what kind of submissive you are looking for.

Then there is the singlemost important 'code' word in BDSM - RESPECT.

You have to respect the people or persons you want to relate to, and they have to have respect for you.

You don't get respect simply because you have decided to be dominant, I think you need to team up with an established dominant and go through a semester or two of tutillage - believe they call it mentoring in America.

Alternatively, and a lot of dominants go this route, is to go through the process of being trained as a submissive, in order then to learn how to be a dominant.

Another thing you should think about is that many dominants are not only dominant in scene, but also in real life, and many find their partners in real life, and then go into the scene.

It is true that there are some who are not dominant in real life, or hold down jobs that mean they have to hide their real selves; and, who are then dominant in scene only.

I think that you have mad a decision, on the spot, so to speak, whizzed around to see if someone is going to run around obeying you, and now a few days later, I hear your foot tapping on the ground and you impatiently say, "Where are the real subs?"

We are all here, "Where is the real Dom?"






Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Chris Green

Matron, sister or nurse wanted,
to administer discipline to unruly patient.

(in reply to benjamin34)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Question - 10/14/2004 5:10:05 PM   
DaddyDomnCOLO


Posts: 15
Joined: 10/3/2004
Status: offline 		My own thoughts... such as they are. Who are we to judge when someone requests another sub to join her with her Master. I have found two occasions where my sub wanted another to become part of our relationship. It isn't alwasy a "horny' guy wanting a 3some. All parties in a true relationship create the input on what the group dynamics will become. As for weekends only... I cannot judge there life, maybe they have a job or home situation that precludes living the life they turly want 24/7/365. I believe someone already pointed out that in so many words, its a numbers game. Talk to enough subs and you will find one that you can respect and that also can respect you. Thats all you need worry about.
quote:

ORIGINAL: benjamin34

I have a question. Where are all the real subs? Everyone here is either looking for a 2nd or 3rd or 4th for a harem or they want to do it "just on weekends" or they are unwilling to do anything and that really doesnt make a sub. anyone care to get in on this one?



_____________________________

"I possess, I am not possessed" Greek Philosopher

(in reply to benjamin34)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Question - 10/15/2004 4:48:01 PM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings,

<Taking a very deep breath before typing>


Not everyone is looking for a 3rd or 4th.

In the case of this house, Master's wife is looking for someone who will be HERS.

He will be part of the family, but the sub/boy will have his own relationshjp with her
and be friends/family with Master and this girl.

be well,
stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to benjamin34)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question - 10/16/2004 12:23:28 PM   
IservBlkKingPaPa


Posts: 84
Joined: 8/17/2004
From: Long Island NY
Status: offline 		Hmmm....just because ones situation calls for something different for them, than your situation, does not mean they are not real. this girl's Master is poly, that does not make Him "not real". Diversity is what alternative lifestyles are based on. An alternate path from the boring vanilla hum drum. Nobody has the right to pass judgement on the way another lives that alternative lifestyle. this girl has learned that lesson also. Just this girl's humble opinion.



@}slave}viktorya}--
Every Rose has her Thorns...

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question - 10/16/2004 2:31:14 PM   
stormiKnightBEAR


Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Hmmm....just because ones situation calls for something different for them, than your situation, does not mean they are not real. this girl's Master is poly, that does not make Him "not real". Diversity is what alternative lifestyles are based on. An alternate path from the boring vanilla hum drum. Nobody has the right to pass judgement on the way another lives that alternative lifestyle. this girl has learned that lesson also. Just this girl's humble opinion.



It shows that your response was in response to stormi's post. So since this girl is stormi she will respond.
Not sure what you read in stormi's post. But the point that was trying to be made was that everyone seems to
think that being poly is all about swinging or orgies/harems. When infact that is not true.

Sometimes........ as is the case in this home, it is about being in service to one Master (or Dominant) and having a extended family unit.

The orignal question to which stormi was replying was the statement below:

quote:

Where are all the real subs? Everyone here is either looking for a 2nd or 3rd or 4th for a harem or they want to do it "just on weekends" or they are unwilling to do anything and that really doesnt make a sub.


Personally, if you take the time to read this girl's post, stormi repeatedly has stated that everyone is entitled and yes deserves to live the life they choose. By the same token, the implication that one involved in a poly is basically less than
anything other than an extension of a very giving relationship absolutely is nothing short of judgemental.

While the question where are the real sub at??? The same could be asked of Dominants. Who's to say that the poster of this
question is real or not??? Not stormi.... but by the same token please understand the implication of "harem" was not in this girl's opinion anything short of insulting.

be well,
stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to IservBlkKingPaPa)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question - 10/16/2004 6:50:23 PM   
IservBlkKingPaPa


Posts: 84
Joined: 8/17/2004
From: Long Island NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: benjamin34

quote:

I have a question. Where are all the real subs? Everyone here is either looking for a 2nd or 3rd or 4th for a harem or they want to do it "just on weekends" or they are unwilling to do anything and that really doesnt make a sub. anyone care to get in on this one?



quote:

ORIGINAL: IservBlkKingPapa

quote:

Hmmm....just because ones situation calls for something different for them, than your situation, does not mean they are not real. this girl's Master is poly, that does not make Him "not real". Diversity is what alternative lifestyles are based on. An alternate path from the boring vanilla hum drum. Nobody has the right to pass judgement on the way another lives that alternative lifestyle. this girl has learned that lesson also. Just this girl's humble opinion.



quote:

ORIGINAL: stormiKnightBEAR


quote:

Not everyone is looking for a 3rd or 4th.

In the case of this house, Master's wife is looking for someone who will be HERS.

He will be part of the family, but the sub/boy will have his own relationshjp with her
and be friends/family with Master and this girl.


Obviously this girl was replying to the ORIGINAL post. posted by benjamin34 as to the "realness" of the subs online and the implication that someone who may desire a 2nd, 3rd or 4th sub was not "real"

@}slave}viktorya}--
Every Rose has her Thorns...

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question - 10/16/2004 7:00:20 PM   
IservBlkKingPaPa


Posts: 84
Joined: 8/17/2004
From: Long Island NY
Status: offline 		slave viktorya will now refer to herself as such so as not to confuse anybody else



@}slave}viktorya}--
Every Rose has her Thorns...

(in reply to IservBlkKingPaPa)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question - 10/16/2004 8:36:31 PM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline 		Stormi - not everyone on the boards is out to get you - honest.

Unless you click on the 'reply' link in the posting of the person you wish to reply to, the system automatically assigns your post as "in reply to" the last poster. So if you click on either the 'post reply' button or the 'fast reply' button, it will show you as replying to the last poster ( as in this post of mine being marked 'in reply to IservBlkKingPaPa'.

I have found it best to ignore the 'in reply to' and go from the content and context of the post to determine who it is actually in reply to, if it is not specifically pointed out, rather than assume that a post is in reply to mine.



_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to IservBlkKingPaPa)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question - 10/16/2004 8:46:53 PM   
gypsy1110


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline 		Stormi - I think you misread Iserve's posting. The both of you posted comments in the Third Person which seem to add to the confusion. Your response to her posting came off a bit combative.

(in reply to Thanatosian)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question - 10/16/2004 11:26:17 PM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline 		There are some of us who are looking for a monogamy here. I've made the decision to only seek local people for a potential partner, so I'm fishing from a very small pool. But there's no point whining about it.

_____________________________

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to benjamin34)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question - 10/17/2004 1:54:10 PM   
ShadowHwk


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/5/2004
From: New York
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: benjamin34

I have a question. Where are all the real subs? Everyone here is either looking for a 2nd or 3rd or 4th for a harem or they want to do it "just on weekends" or they are unwilling to do anything and that really doesnt make a sub. anyone care to get in on this one?


So do you want some cheese with that whine?

Seriously, you call into question everyone's motives just because you cannot find what you seek? Think about it - even in vanilla life, with a much larger possible pool of potential mates, many spend a lifetime looking for a match. Do you think that a few weeks or months online will produce a quicker/better result?

Peace and Light
Terry

(in reply to benjamin34)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Question - 10/18/2004 10:01:28 AM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		I found this to be a good prior thread on this subject

Poly

(Sorry to step on your turf Proud)

Benjamin I think you are meeting and corresponding with subs who do not match you is all. Keep looking and you will find someone who does.
Good luck.

< Message edited by sweetpleaser -- 10/18/2004 10:06:12 AM >

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to benjamin34)
Profile   Post #: 20
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